It was only a matter of time before all the times Milton Bradley misses games became an obsessive watch.

Bradley was a scratch earlier this week and then again yesterday with those pesky “flu-like symptoms.” At what point do flu-like symptoms just become the flu? And if they simply remain flu-like symptoms, does that mean the Cubs are euphimizing something bad? Like, for me, the only time I have “flu-like symptoms” without having the flu is when I drank way the heck too much the day before.

Apparently Bradley’s wife went into labor this week, also, so we’ll excuse this one for sure. I guess that’s another time I would have “flu-like symptoms” without actually having the flu.