Brett Taylor is the editor and lead writer at Bleacher Nation, and can also be found as Bleacher Nation on Twitter and on Facebook.

162 responses to “Why the 2009 St. Louis Cardinals Will Suck”

  1. STLCards

    10.5 out……more over than over.

  2. Butcher

    Next season, Ace should do a “Why the Cardinals Fanbase Sucks,” and then just post this comments section verbatim.

    Cardfan seems to be the exception ’round here, of course. I like that dude.

  3. Steve

    I hate the Braves… anyone else hate the Braves?

    1. Cardfan

      I’m in…

    2. Steven

      I should clarify…I hate their fans.
      Here are a few reasons…
      1) They make my fellow Cardinal fans look upscale and classy.
      2) They could not pick Dale Murphy out of a police lineup.
      3) They are incapable of naming more than two Hall of Famers that played for the franchise.
      4) Many fans also consider themselves die hard Dallas Cowboys fans. This should be number one.

      Wait…did I mention that most tend to be Confederate sympathizers? Of course a number of the Lowest Common Denominator Cardinals Fans (L.C.D.C.F? Hey, that works for the Cubbies, too!) are also guilty of this treasonous behavior.

      Why do you hate Braves fans?

      1. Cardfan

        I thought it was a retorical question, but ..hey… there’s your manifesto!

        You could also add a fifth point and reiterate their ability to fill any NASCAR event to capacity and still allow for the availability of Braves playoff tickets the day of the game.

        I would, however, caution you from venturing into justification due to moral failings and the widespread destruction of the fabric of the USA. If that were valid criteria, then I would have to revisit my feelings on the Cubs, given what the city of Chicago has thrust upon our national leadership.

        1. Steven

          Yeah…started retorical…but what the hell. What else am I going to do at work?

  4. STLCards

    11.5 out

    1. Cardfan

      STLCards-
      Your on a site for Cubs fans, written by a Cubs fan (a talented one, at that). When this article was written, the Cardinals were bound to suck. I said so in my post a few days after he wrote this back in March. We didn’t know if we would have a healthy Carpenter, Wainwright was shakey in preseason, Wellmeyer was…well, Wellmeyer, and management hadn’t addressed the closer role. Who the hell knew that Franklin would have the season of a lifetime, Carpenter would return to 2006 form and straighten out Wainwright’s delivery in the process, Piniero would soar, and we would finally land Holliday. At least I could count on Wellmeyer sucking. Bottom line is that we were going to suck and we don’t. I couldn’t be happier.

      So let’s enjoy the success we’ve had this year. Leave the mindless barbs alone. If you do want to talk smack, at least come up with something pithy and engaging. I am all for a good throwdown, just keep it above the elementary school level.

  5. STLCards

    Hey Cardfan, and Ace…you are correct. I’ve been talking some shit, but only in response to some mindless cubfan shit. Maybe I’ve lowered myself by doing so. I just do not understand cubs fans who talk shit about other baseball fans! In my opinion, they should at least win a Championship first…then I’ll at least understand their shit-talking!
    By the way, I love Chicago as a town…if I lived there I’d probably weigh 400 pounds. The food is great…perfect hot dogs and pizza! What more could anybody want?!

    cubs fans though? the trash talking is crazy to me. I don’t get it!?

    cub’s fans, I know the cubs have spent a lot of money this year (without many positive results), and I know they should be good as a result (but arent), but please quit trash talking the Cardinal Baseball Club and Fans! When cub fans do this…you just make yourself look more stoooopid than you already are by rooting for a team that hasn’t won in 101 rears!
    GO CARDS!!!!!!

    1. Cardfan

      That was “pithy and engaging” not “pitifully enraging”…

  6. Scott

    good call on the bad cardinals season… but the cubs did good right? i dont see how anyone can talk shit on the cardinals, espically a cubs fan. But hey, maybe the one hundred and third time is a charm, right?

  7. STLCards

    It’s been a bad two weeks for the Cardinals. They’re about to win the division anyway…almost by default. As much as I hate the Cubs, the crap they’re going through with Soriano and Bradley makes me almost feel sorry for them.

  8. Bill E Goat

    Aaaahhahhhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha

    What a great literary masterpiece.

    I look forward to your next one.

    http://www.stltoday.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=662708

  9. str8carter

    I feel bad for the Cubs as well. What the hell was Hendry thinking? His ass needs to be fired.

  10. Butcher

    I can’t say this with any degree of certainly because I’m not the kind of guy to seek out rival teams’ blogs…but I would guess that there are blogs dedicated to the discussion of St. Louis Cardinals baseball out there. And I would also venture a guess that those same blogs would welcome as much “Cubs suck! 100 years! Goats! Bartman!” idiocy as anyone would care to participate in.

    I hope that’s helpful.

  11. Dougc2004

    its obvious that this artical was written by a Cubs fans, and i only have 2 things to say.
    First if the Cards suck so bad then why are we the central division champs AGAIN and the cubs arent. and second when was the last time the cubs won the world series cause the cards did it again in 2006

  12. Brian

    God you’re dumb

  13. holliday for president

    CUBS SUCK ALWAYS WILL SUCK ALWAYS HAVE SUCKED….CARDINALS HAVE MOST WORLD SERIES WINS IN THE NATIONAL LEAGUE…..CUBS FANS CAN SUCK A BIG CARDINALS WEINDER

  14. holliday for president

    WEINER***

  15. Gargantua!

    WEINDER was waaaaay more poetic, Mullet…good work.

  16. Cardfan

    NOONE CAN OVERCOME THE COMBINED FORCE OF McDRINKIN AND McROID’IN.

    IT LIVVVVVVVVVVES!!!!!!!

  17. Cardfan

    I’m waiting………………………..

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  19. Andy

    ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS CUBS SUCKS STL.. CARDINALS ALL THE WAY…

    1. BT

      Wow. Timely AND deep.

  20. Cardinals

    Why does every one decide to hate on the cardinals when there the best team alive? Now answer me that question.

    1. Bric

      Because you guys don’t know the difference between there and they’re. The real question is how can an internet article posted almost 2 years ago continue to get responses? Screw all these tech guys who rave about the immediacy of the internet. We could all just go back to books. Or at least newspapers.

  21. veryzer

    Wow. I just read every post in this thread and it pains me to say that outside of one guy, every Cardinal response came from someone who is either 10 years old, severely retarded, inbred, or just plain stupid. All the signs are there: misuse of your/you’re and their/they’re/there? Yep. ALL CAPS? YEP. all lower cases? yep. 103 years? Yep. Cardinals rule? Yep. Massive dyslexia? Yep. It goes on and on and on….

    If I was a Cardinal fan, and thank God I’m not, I’d be very very embarrassed for my fellow fans. I’d call them imbeciles, but there’s no way they’d know what that means.