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The Sun Times’ Gordon Wittenmyer polled the remaining pitchers in Cubs camp regarding their thoughts on, well, themselves. They ranked each other in various categories, and it is certain not to breed subtle resentment and underlying hostility.

But who cares about that part. It’s interesting as hell. Let’s take a look at some of the highlights.

Starter to win one game

Dempster: 55.8 percent

Zambrano: 27.8 percent

Lilly: 11.1 percent

Others: 5.8 percent

The product of Dempster’s ridiculous success last year? His likeability? Or is it simply Zambrano’s unpredictability. Perhaps the most interesting thing is that Rich Harden – no doubt the best pitcher on the Cubs – received, essentially, no votes. I’ll presume that’s a product of his typically short outtings. Still, he’d have gotten my vote.

Nastiest pitch

Zambrano’s slider, slitter, sinker: 5.9 percent

Anything by Zambrano: 11.8 percent

Marmol slider: 47.1 percent

Kevin Gregg splitter: 11.8 percent

Others: 11.8 percent

Why would one of the choices (anything by Z) subsume another of the choices (the also somewhat ubiquitous “slider, slitter, sinker”)? That concern is purely academic, of course, because Marmol’s slider is the obviously correct answer here.

Reliever to get one out

Marmol: 72.2 percent

Others: 27.8 percent

Wow. Well, the most interesting thing there is that it cuts both ways in the closer competition. Obviously his teammates recognize that he’s probably the best reliever on the team. But closers have to get three outs, not just one. Setup men can be utilized in more high leverage situations.

Wittenmyer notes that one Cubs pitcher declined to participate in the survey. Smart guy, that one.

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