Kosuke Fukudome is finally back in Cubs camp after a relatively yawn-worthy WBC stint. But the good news is, he’s figured out why he struggled so much in the final three months of the season last year.

He simply wasn’t being the player Lou Piniella wants him to be.

“If I can be the player that Lou [Piniella] wants me to be, I should be playing a lot better,” he said. chicagotribune.com.

I know there’s translation going on, but way to step out on a limb there, buddy. I’m gonna take a wild guess that “the player that Lou wants you to be” is a guy that hits 1.000, has 150 outfield assists, and hits a grand slam every plate appearance (ok, maybe that last one is wishful thinking – but only because it necessarily requires three other guys being “the players that Lou wants them to be”).

So, yes, Kosuke – if you suddenly become the player Lou wants you to be, you should be playing a lot better. And if I suddenly grow six inches (I will leave the where to your reading discretion), I should be getting a lot more lovin’.

Odds are come August, we’ll both be striking out.