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The Chicago Cubs head on down to Arizona to take on the Diamondbacks this week.  And yes, I realize that’s the old logo. In case you haven’t noticed, I have an affinity for the classic logos, to the extent they exist, and to the extent anything from the 1990s can be considered “classic.” A refresher on the series preview here at Bleacher Nation:

The idea is to hook you up with the bare minimum of what you need to know about every series this year. That way you can look like a genius, hardcore fan in front of all your friends, with minimum effort. Oh, and there will be pictures of hot chicks, too.

We’re Going Streaking

The Cubs (9-8) managed to win yesterday against the Cardinals to put an end to a hideous and painful four game losing streak. It still marks another series loss, though, the Cubs’ second in a row. The D-backs have really struggled out of the gate this year, and had to play 12 innings against the Giants last night to squeak out a win.

Game Times and Broadcasts

  • Monday, April 27 at 8:40 CT on CSN.
  • Tuesday, April 28 at 8:40 CT on WGN.
  • Wednesday, April 29 at 2:40 CT on CSN.

Expected Starters and Lineups

These lineups aren’t always perfect, but they’re usually close.

Cubs

Starters: Ted Lilly, Carlos Zambrano, Ryan Dempster

Lineup:

  1. Soriano, LF
  2. Theriot, SS
  3. Fukudome, RF
  4. Hoffpauir, 1B (assuming Lee is out)
  5. Johnson, CF (?)
  6. Fontenot, 3B
  7. Soto, C
  8. Miles, 2B
  9. Pitcher

Diamondbacks

Starters: Yusmeiro Petit, Dan Haren, Doug Davis

Lineups:

  1. Felipe Lopez, 2B
  2. Augie Ojeda, SS
  3. Mark Reynolds, 3B
  4. Tony Clark, 1B
  5. Eric Byrnes, LF
  6. Chris Young, CF
  7. Justin Upton, RF
  8. Chris Snyder, C
  9. Pitcher

Hot or Not and Whom to Watch

Was Sunday’s game against the Cardinals a break out for the Cubs’ bats, or a temporary blip on the slump city radar? The Cubs hope (ha) to get back Aramis Ramirez and Milton Bradley – the lineup, and bench, could definitely use it. Carlos Marmol may also be able to come back later in the series.

How about Ted Lilly so far this year? He sports a 2.41 ERA, and even better, he dominated the Diamondbacks last year to the tune of a 2.77 ERA. Perhaps he was making up for the playoff flop against the D-backs in 2007.

The Cubs are fortunate to miss an ailing Brandon Webb this series, but they do see the very dominant Dan Haren. And soft-tossing lefty Doug Davis is sure to give the Cubs fits. Outfielder Justin Upton has a couple homers in the last couple games, so I think that means he’ll hit three in this series. That sucks.

marissa miller cubs jerseySeries She-View

And now the best part of the preview: if the teams were represented by beautiful women, who would they be, and what would the match up look like. I thought long and hard about who would represent the Cubs this year. Given the fact that she’s thrown out the first pitch, sung the Seventh Inning Stretch, probably likes the Cubs – oh, and the fact that she is a level of hot commensurate with the Chicago Cubs’ ability, I’ve chosen supermodel Marisa Miller. You’re welcome.

Choosing a representative for the Diamondbacks was actually difficult. You may not know this, but a disproportionately large number of Playboy Playmates hail from Arizona. But we fancy Bleacher Nation a semi-family friendly site, so we’ll try to find someone else.

jennie finch looks toplessFormerly hot E! host Jules Asner? Sexy singer Michelle Branch? Nah. Come on. When you think “hot,” “Arizona,” and “pitcher,” who immediately comes to mind?

Well, after Randy Johnson?

That’s right, it’s Olympic pitcher and former Arizona Wildcat, Jennie Finch. Never would you feel so good as to have been struck out by a woman. Bonus connection to this series: Jennie Finch is married to former Diamondbacks pitcher Casey Daigle (I guess actual success wasn’t a criteria for a spouse).

So who you got in this one? Do you go with hot (Marisa Miller)? Or hot, and could kill you with a softball (Jennie Finch)? We’ll make this one a bikini battle:

jennie finch bikini

versus

marisa miller bikini

  • Butcher

    “The D-backs have really struggled out of the gate this year, and had to play X innings against the Giants last night [result].”
    X innings? Are you using roman numerals?

  • Ace

    Haha, oh man. That’s what you get when you draft, await results, and then auto-post. Edits on the way!

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