Series Preview: Cubs v. Cardinals, May 19 – May 21, 2009

The Chicago Cubs head back to the craphole that is Busch Stadium for the second time, in this, their third series against the hated St. Louis Cardinals.  That’s right, third. It’s May. Thanks MLB schedule makers for saving a few for later in the year. A refresher on the series preview here at Bleacher Nation:

The idea is to hook you up with the bare minimum of what you need to know about every series this year. That way you can look like a genius, hardcore fan in front of all your friends, with minimum effort. Oh, and there will be pictures of hot chicks, too.

We’re Going Streaking

Broadly speaking, the Cubs and Cardinals are two teams headed in opposite directions. In fact, even narrowly speaking, it’s opposite world: the Cubs have won five of their last six, and seven of their last ten; the Cardinals have lost five of their last six, and seven of their last ten.

They are battling for second place at this point, as the Brewers have steamed ahead to first in the Central (mostly by beating up on the Cardinals).

Game Times and Broadcasts

• Tuesday, May 19 at 7:15 CT on WGN.
• Wednesday, May 20 at 7:15 CT on CSN/ESPN.
• Thursday, May 21 at 7:15 CT on CSN/MLBN.

Expected Starters and Lineups

These lineups aren’t always perfect, but they’re usually close. The Cardinals’ lineup could be way off this time around due to the various injuries.

Cubs

Starters: Ted Lilly (5-2, 3.27), Ryan Dempster (3-2, 4.65), Sean Marshall (2-2, 4.02)

Lineup:

1. Soriano, LF
2. Theriot, SS
3. Fukudome, CF
4. Lee, 1B
5. Bradley, RF
6. Fontenot, 3B
7. Soto, C
8. Scales, 2B
9. Pitcher

Cardinals

Starters: Joel Piniero (4-3, 4.17), Chris Carpenter (1-0, 0.00), Adam Wainwright (3-2, 3.83)

Lineups:

1. Skip Schumaker, 2B
2. Pick Your RF Sub
3. Albert Pujols, 1B
4. Rick Ankiel, CF (he’s due back)
5. Colby Rasmus, LF
6. Khalil Greene, SS
7. Brian Barden, 3B
8. Yadier Molina, C
9. Pitcher

Hot or Not and Whom to Watch

In case you haven’t noticed, Mike Fontenot is cold. Ice cold. Ice, ice baby cold. He’s making ugly love to the Mendoza line (.200), and hasn’t done much of anything for the better part of a month. Were we, um, wrong about the whole DeRosa thing?

Kosuke Fukudome is still hitting, and it’s technically now late May. I wonder if he’s aware. I also wonder if I just jinxed him.

For the Cardinals, the guys to watch are the ones previously riding the pine: the injured. The Cubs are lucky enough to get Chris Carpenter back, as well as Rick Ankiel. Will they be rusty? Hopefully, but let’s face it – they’ll probably be dominant. At least Ryan Ludwick will miss the series.

Series She-View

And now the best part of the preview: if the teams were represented by beautiful women, who would they be, and what would the match up look like. I thought long and hard about who would represent the Cubs this year. Given the fact that she’s thrown out the first pitch, sung the Seventh Inning Stretch, probably likes the Cubs – oh, and the fact that she is a level of hot commensurate with the Chicago Cubs’ ability, I’ve chosen supermodel Marisa Miller. You’re welcome.

Choosing a representative for the St. Louis Cardinals was very difficult previously. Frankly… I don’t want them to win. But I also didn’t want to pick some total, ridiculous ugmo – that’s rigging the game and, well, not exactly easy on my readership’s eyes.

So I went with someone that, I don’t know, some people might find hot. Let’s call her a grizzled veteran, not unlike a few Cardinals.

Oh, and because I’d like all Cardinal fans to eat crow when the series is over: we go with Sheryl Crow, who hails from Kennett, Missouri – which is just a stone’s throw (ok, a ridiculously long stone’s throw) away from St. Louis. I couldn’t decide whether I should change up the representatives mid-season, but for now, I won’t. If you come up with someone better for the Cardinals, let me know.

It’s a red carpet match up this week.

Versus