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Did you know that Sammy Sosa was still available as a free agent? I guess he was. Not surprisingly, no one really cared. So now it’s time for the former Chicago Cub superstar, former maligned and suspected juicer, and former boombox smashee to hang up the spikes.

You know, even though the league hung up his spikes for him a long time ago.

“Everything I achieved, I did it thanks to my perseverance, which is why I never had any long, difficult moments [as a baseball player]. If you have a bad day in baseball, and start thinking about it, you will have ten more,” said Sosa.

“I will calmly wait for my induction to the Baseball Hall of Fame. Don’t I have the numbers to be inducted?,” said Sosa, who presently serves the Dominican government as Special Ambassador For Investment Opportunities. ESPN.

I assume that position means “local celebrity rich guy who can give us money.” Interesting question on his Hall of Fame candidacy – probably more so than many of his contemporaries.

“I always played with love and responsibility and I assure you that I will not answer nor listen to rumors. If anything ugly comes up in the future, we will confront it immediately, but with all our strength because I will not allow anybody to tarnish what I did in the field,” said Sosa.

It would probably be better for your legacy, Sammy, if you just came clean. Yes, I know you’ve never officially been busted. And yes, I know there’s a 0.0001% chance that you never used anything. But if you want whatever is left of your reputation to remain untarnished, preserve the part you can: your honesty and integrity.

On Manny:

“Manny’s case has been truly hurtful. It hit me but now it’s time for Manny to get back on his feet and face the consequences of his actions”, said Sosa.

Maybe that statement will never officially be revealed as painfully ironic.

  • DaveB

    damnn, is that a real (meaning not photoshopped) photo of Sammy?
    Becuase if so, there is NO WAY IN HELL he got arms like that without juicing.

    • Ace

      Unfortunately, it’s real.

  • http://www.neverbesocial.com neverbesocial

    Sammy never juiced, he just used a corked bat, that’s all.

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