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Here they come. The White Sox. So many things one wishes to say at this moment. To choose only one would be a crime. So we’ll go with three: the White Sox suck, the White Sox suck, the White Sox suck.

So, the series preview: the idea is to hook you up with what you need to know about every series this year. That way you can look like a genius, hardcore fan in front of all your friends, with minimum effort. Oh, and there will be pictures of hot chicks, too.

We’re Going Streaking

The Cubs managed to eek out one win against the Twins this weekend, and end a four-game losing skid. But the offense still hasn’t come around, and the Cubs are just a .500 team, in the bottom half of the NL Central.

The White Sox have won three of four, are in third place in the AL Central, and generally eat their own poop. Now you know.

Game Times and Broadcasts

  • Tuesday, June 16 at 7:05 CT on WGN.
  • Wednesday, June 17 at 1:20 CT on CSN.
  • Thursday, June 18 at 1:20 CT on WGN.

Expected Starters and Lineups

These lineups are rarely perfect, but they’re usually close.

Cubs

Starters: Carlos Zambrano (4-2, 3.39), Randy Wells (0-3, 2.55), Ryan Dempster (4-3, 3.87)

Lineup:

  1. Soriano, LF
  2. Theriot, SS
  3. Bradley, RF
  4. Lee, 1B
  5. Fukudome, CF
  6. Soto/Hill, C
  7. Fontenot, 3B
  8. Miles, 2B
  9. Pitcher

White Sox

Starters: John Danks (4-5, 4.81), Gavin Floyd (4-5, 4.94), Jose Contreras (2-5, 5.32)

Lineups:

  1. Scott Podsednik, LF
  2. Alexei Ramirez, SS
  3. AJ Pierzynski, C
  4. Jermaine Dye, RF
  5. Paul Konerko, 1B
  6. Brian Anderson, CF
  7. Chris Getz, 2B
  8. Gordon Beckham, 3B
  9. Pitcher

Hot or Not and Whom to Watch

The Chicago Cubs starting pitchers are still absolutely rolling, but the offense is still absolutely sucking. Hopefully Ryan Theriot is beginning to remember his role is a singles/doubles, on-base guy, not Barry Bonds. Was young pitcher Randy Wells exposed in his last outing – his first bad one? Or will he come back this time?

The White Sox haven’t been any better offensively, with the second-to-worst batting average in the league. Unfortunately the Cubs get John Danks and Jose Contreras, each quite crummy this year, but who are coming off their best performances and may be turning things around.

marisa miller cubs jerseySeries She-View

And now the best part of the preview: if the teams were represented by beautiful women, who would they be, and what would the match up look like. I thought long and hard about who would represent the Cubs this year. Given the fact that she’s thrown out the first pitch, sung the Seventh Inning Stretch, probably likes the Cubs – oh, and the fact that she is a level of hot commensurate with the Chicago Cubs’ ability, I’ve chosen supermodel Marisa Miller. You’re welcome. But this series is special, so Marisa will actually take a back seat in this one. I’m sorry.

Instead, for both the Cubs and White Sox, since it’s a cross-town rivalry type of thing, we figured, why shouldn’t each team be represented by members of its fan base?

Who’s going to argue with some beautiful Chicago women, right? So for your enjoyment, here is a selection of Cubs fans and White Sox fans. You decide who wins this series.

hot cubs girltopless cubs fan

Versus

average white sox fanhandsome white sox fan

  • DaveB

    :)

    Making fun of the methheads at Comiskey never gets old

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