Here they go again. The White Sox. To the Cell. Still so many things one wishes to say at this moment. To choose only one would be a crime. So we’ll go with three: the White Sox still suck, the White Sox still suck, the White Sox still suck.

So, the series preview: the idea is to hook you up with what you need to know about every series this year. That way you can look like a genius, hardcore fan in front of all your friends, with minimum effort. Oh, and there will be pictures of hot chicks, too.

We’re Going Streaking

The Cubs just got swept by the Detroit Tigers, but were only outscored by a total four runs. It was a much closer series than the sweep indicates, and I can’t explain it, but I’ve got a good feeling going forward. I think the Cubs are getting ready to turn it on. Of course, they’ll have to turn around their interleague struggles first: the Cubs are just 5-6 so far this year.

The White Sox just took two of three from the Dodgers, after taking two of three from the Reds. They’re fairly hot. But they can still lick my buttress.

Game Times and Broadcasts

  • Friday, June 26 at 3:05 CT on CSN.
  • Saturday, June 27 at 3:05 CT on FOX.
  • Sunday, June 28 at 1:05 CT on WGN.

Expected Starters and Lineups

These lineups are rarely perfect, but they’re usually close.


Starters: Randy Wells (1-3, 2.57), Ryan Dempster (4-5, 3.83), Carlos Zambrano (4-2, 3.48)


  1. Soriano, LF
  2. Theriot, SS
  3. Bradley, RF
  4. Lee, 1B
  5. Fukudome, CF
  6. Soto/Hill, C
  7. Fontenot, 3B
  8. Miles, 2B
  9. Fox/Hoffpauir, DH (again, not gonna be 9th, but Lou is so shifty with these guys)

White Sox

Starters: Jose Contreras (2-6, 5.23), Mark Buehrle (7-2, 3.17), John Danks (5-6, 4.43)


  1. Scott Podsednik, LF
  2. Alexei Ramirez, SS
  3. Jermaine Dye, RF
  4. Jim Thome, DH
  5. Paul Konerko, 1B
  6. AJ Pierzynski, C
  7. Chris Getz, 2B
  8. Gordon Beckham, 3B
  9. Brian Anderson, CF

Hot or Not and Whom to Watch

How about that Jake Fox, eh? He’s had quite a start to his Major League Career (ok, well technically he played a little in 2007) – he’s hitting .353 this year with a .918 OPS. Ryan Dempster has dropped his last two decisions, though he’s pitched well enough to win. Derrek Lee had his 21-game hit streak snapped yesterday, but he’s still the hottest hitter on the team. Which I suppose is not saying much.

The White Sox picked things up slightly on the offensive side, but they remain a generally poor offensive team. Scott Podsednik just delivered a game winning hit – but it was his first in 16 at bats. Still, the Rockies cast-off is hitting .305 since being added to the White Sox roster. The Cubs will face John Danks again – the pitcher dominated the Cubs two weeks ago, despite generally sucking all year before that start. The Cubs will do that to you sometimes.

marisa miller cubs jerseySeries She-View

And now the best part of the preview: if the teams were represented by beautiful women, who would they be, and what would the match up look like. I thought long and hard about who would represent the Cubs this year. Given the fact that she’s thrown out the first pitch, sung the Seventh Inning Stretch, probably likes the Cubs – oh, and the fact that she is a level of hot commensurate with the Chicago Cubs’ ability, I’ve chosen supermodel Marisa Miller. You’re welcome. But this series is special, so Marisa will actually take a back seat in this one. I’m sorry.

Instead, for both the Cubs and White Sox, since it’s a cross-town rivalry type of thing, we figured, why shouldn’t each team be represented by members of its fan base?

Who’s going to argue with some beautiful Chicago women, right? So for your enjoyment, here is a selection of Cubs fans and White Sox fans. You decide who wins this series.
hot cubs fan
white sox fan and cubs fan

fat white sox fan

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