Series Preview: Cubs v. Phillies, August 11 – August 13, 2009

The Chicago Cubs welcome the Philadelphia Phillies, who are kind of awesome – which is not a particularly welcome site for a reeling Cubs club. A refresher on the series preview here at Bleacher Nation:

The idea is to hook you up with the bare minimum of what you need to know about every series this year. That way you can look like a genius, hardcore fan in front of all your friends, with minimum effort. Oh, and there will be pictures of hot chicks, too.

We’re Going Streaking

The Cubs picked a terrible time to go slumping – they’ve lost three straight, and naturally, three games in the standings. They’re now three games back of the Cardinals in the Central. Although, can you really call it a “slump” when it comes against a winning team? After all, the Cubs haven’t won a series against a team with a winning record in three months. Yo.

The Phillies are slumping a bit themselves, losers of 8 of 11. But… they’re still the Phillies, and they’re still likely to kick the Cubs’ ass, given the Cubs’ woes against remotely good teams.

Game Times and Broadcasts

• Tuesday, August 11 at 7:05 CT on CSN.
• Wednesday, August 12 at 7:05 CT on WGN/ESPN.
• Thursday, August 13 at 1:20 CT on CSN.

Expected Starters and Lineups

These lineups aren’t always perfect, but they’re usually close.

Cubs

Starters: Rich Harden (7-7, 4.41), Jeff Samardzija (1-1, 6.29), Ryan Dempster (6-5, 4.04)

Lineup:

1. Theriot, SS
2. Bradley, RF
3. Lee, 1B
4. Ramirez, 3B
5. Fukudome, CF
6. Soriano, LF
7. Soto, C
8. Fontenot/Baker, 2B
9. Pitcher

Phillies

Starters: J.A. Happ (8-2, 2.74), Pedro Martinez (- – -, -.–), Cliff Lee (9-9, 2.95)

Lineups:

1. Jimmy Rollins, SS
2. Shane Victorino, CF
3. Chase Utley, 2B
4. Ryan Howard, 1B
5. Raul Ibanez, LF
6. Jason Werth, RF
7. Pedro Feliz, 3B
8. Carlos Ruiz, C
9. Pitcher

Hot or Not and Whom to Watch

The Cubs have fallen back into their we-don’t-hit-with-dudes-in-scoring-position ways. And it grows frustrating.

Jeff Baker had a great series against the Rockies, but it could have been Coors Field magic. Look for him to get a couple starts against the Phillies. Yeah, he would have anyway since the Cubs are facing two lefties. But I wanted to look smart. Milton Bradley has really taken to the 2-hole, which is great, but again, no one is driving him in.

For the Phillies, it’s all about watching the rotation. J.A. Happ has a firm grasp on this year’s Rookie of the Year award, and Cliff Lee is back to dealing after a brief hiatus from his Cy Young form. And then sandwiched by the dominant lefties is the one, the only, Pedro Martinez. This is his first start of the year, and he did not appear (statistically) impressive in his series of rehab/get-ready starts. If there’s a winnable game in the series, it’s the game against Pedro.

Of course, the Cubs counter with an inexperienced and largely unsuccessful Jeff Samardzija.

Series She-View

And now the best part of the preview: if the teams were represented by beautiful women, who would they be, and what would the match up look like. I thought long and hard about who would represent the Cubs this year.

Given the fact that she’s thrown out the first pitch, sung the Seventh Inning Stretch, probably likes the Cubs – oh, and the fact that she is a level of hot commensurate with the Chicago Cubs’ ability, I’ve chosen supermodel Marisa Miller.

You’re welcome.

We’re going to go back to the old standby method of choosing representatives, as we choose for the Philadelphia Phillies: someone from Philadelphia. And, frankly, there aren’t a lot of hotties from the nation’s first capital. But there is at least one, and she’s a real world kind of hotty – the kind that you could actually meet. She’d still be way too good for you, but you’d feel like you had a chance.

Remember ‘Trading Spaces’? God, I hope not. Otherwise you’re reading the wrong blog. But if you do, you may be aware of the beautiful and spunky host, Paige Davis. She hails from Philadelphia, and she’s taking up the Phillies’ cause in this Series She-View. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, no – there aren’t a lot of pictures of Paige Davis, so we’ve repurposed them.

So it’s pseudo real-world hottie versus pseuper model. Choose.

Versus