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The Chicago Cubs take on the team formerly known as the San Diego Padres. I guess Jake Peavy probably wouldn’t have been playing at this point anyway. Still, it’s good that he’s gone. A refresher on the series preview here at Bleacher Nation:

The idea is to hook you up with the bare minimum of what you need to know about every series this year. That way you can look like a genius, hardcore fan in front of all your friends, with minimum effort. Oh, and there will be pictures of hot chicks, too.

We’re Going Streaking

The Cubs took two of two from the Pirates, following a miserable week against, you know, good teams. If the Cubs can only beat bad teams, things look bleak in the long run. But in the near term, hey, here come the Padres.

The Padres just bent over for the Cardinals (thanks), but before that were actually kind of hot, winning consecutive series against the Mets and the Brewers. Other than that, though, they kind of stink.

Game Times and Broadcasts

  • Monday, August 17 at 9:05 CT on WCIU.
  • Tuesday, August 18 at 9:05 CT on WGN.
  • Wednesday, August 19 at 9:05 CT on CSN.

Expected Starters and Lineups

These lineups are likely to be, well, wrong. But they’ll be close.

Cubs

Starters: Ted Lilly (9-7, 3.59), Ryan Dempster (6-6, 4.23), Rich Harden (7-7, 4.30)

Lineup:

  1. Fukudome, CF
  2. Bradley, RF
  3. Lee, 1B
  4. Ramirez, 3B
  5. Soriano, LF
  6. Soto, C
  7. Baker/Fontenot, 2B
  8. Theriot, SS
  9. Pitcher

Padres

Starters: Kevin Correia (8-9, 4.51), Cesar Carillo (0-1, 30.86 (ha)), Mat Latos (4-2, 4.01)

Lineups:

  1. Tony Gwynn, Jr., CF
  2. David Eckstein, 2B
  3. Adrian Gonzalez, 1B
  4. Chase Headley, LF
  5. Kevin Kouzmanoff, 3B
  6. Will Venable, RF
  7. Hank White, C
  8. Everth Cabrera, SS
  9. Pitcher

Hot or Not and Whom to Watch

You know who’s kind of rockin’ it lately? Jeff Baker. In the last month, he’s played 18 times and he’s hitting .391, is getting on base at a .440 clip, and get this, has a .674 SLG. That makes a 1.114 OPS for ye math challenged ones. That’s like, Albert Pujols territory. I know it’s been in limited action, but Lou: play that guy.

Of course the guy to watch is one Theodore Lilly. Ted’s been out for a month with a bum shoulder and an operated-on knee. He says he feels good, and we’ll find out what that means tonight.

For the Padres … well, let’s see. Who’s left?

Oh yeah. That Adrian Gonzalez guy. That player of the week in the NL guy. That guy who hit .633 with three homers and eight RBI last week. That guy.

marisa miller cubsSeries She-View

And now the best part of the preview: if the teams were represented by beautiful women, who would they be, and what would the match up look like. I thought long and hard about who would represent the Cubs this year. Given the fact that she’s thrown out the first pitch, sung the Seventh cameron diaz toplessInning Stretch, probably likes the Cubs – oh, and the fact that she is a level of hot commensurate with the Chicago Cubs’ ability, I’ve chosen supermodel Marisa Miller. You’re welcome.

For the the Padres, it was a brutal choice. It may surprise you, but when it comes to sunny Southern California, a handful of beautiful women come to mind. Most are from Los Angeles, or are somehow associated with it – you know, in the sense that a lot of TV and movies and junk come from Hollywood, which is like, the same as L.A. or something, and there are hot chicks in those things, or something, er, but I digress.

Oh yeah, San Diego. You know who hails from San Diego a while back? The subject of a great deal of recent Cub-related scorn: Miss Complicated herself, Denise Richards. But no, no, we haven’t selected her.

We’ve got to go with the San Diego surfer chick – Charlie’s chick. Yup. That’d be the beautiful Cameron Diaz. We’ll make this match up all glamorous and such.

cameron diaz glamorous

Versus

marisa miller hot

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