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Even though we predicted it would happen, a small part of us refused to believe that, after putting up an ERA over eight with the Boston Red Sox, John Smoltz would somehow come to the St. Louis Cardinals and pitch well.

That small part of us is a retard.

Smoltz, making his Cardinals debut, pitched five outstanding innings in a 5-2 win over the Padres at PETCO Park on Sunday. He struck out nine, including seven in a row at one point — a number that according to some outlets is a club record, though the Cardinals could not confirm that. Smoltz also beat out a double-play ball to keep a pivotal rally going, and scored his team’s first run by hustling home from second on a single.

“He did what he’s been doing for 22 years,” said Albert Pujols, who homered in support of his new teammate. “He’s a great competitor. He knows that he still can pitch and he showed it out there. Throwing 93-94 miles per hour with a good split and good bite on his offspeed, that’s pretty good. That’s impressive. Hopefully he can continue to do it and help us to win the division.” stlcardinals.com.

And then I remember that this is the team that has Joel Piniero putting together a near Cy Young caliber season.

Can you even imagine what it must be like to be a Cardinals fan? I mean, wouldn’t you deal with the drooling and webbed toes in exchange for the blind-squirrel-finds-hundreds-of-nuts-every-day kind of luck that the Cardinals have?

Matt Holiday is still hitting .400 in red, and Julio Lugo’s OPS is still over .850 with the Cardinals, in case you were wondering and hadn’t already torn your eyes out.

Go Cubs go!

  • DK

    As much as I hate to say it, perhaps their front office is just smarter and more knowledgeable than ours.

  • STLCards

    101 years…what do you have to lose by selling your minor league system at this point?

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