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The Chicago Cubs welcome the Washington Nationals to Wrigley. Unfortunately, in a few days, the Nationals will have to leave again. A refresher on the series preview here at Bleacher Nation:

The idea is to hook you up with the bare minimum of what you need to know about every series this year. That way you can look like a genius, hardcore fan in front of all your friends, with minimum effort. Oh, and there will be pictures of hot chicks, too.

We’re Going Streaking

The Cubs enter this series with the Nationals riding a huge one-game winning streak. Unfortunately, that streak accounts for just one of the four wins the Cubs have had in their last 14 games. Yup, things look bleak. But then the Nationals come to town!

The Nationals have, themselves, lost six of their last seven. Do you smell a cripple fight?

Game Times and Broadcasts

  • Tuesday, August 25 at 7:05 on CSN+
  • Wednesday, August 26 at 7:05 on CSN
  • Thursday, August 27 at 1:20 on WGN

Expected Starters and Lineups

These lineups aren’t always perfect, but they’re usually close.

Cubs

Starters: Carlos Zambrano (7-4, 3.35), Rich Harden (8-7, 4.04), Randy Wells (9-6, 2.84)

Lineup:

  1. Fukudome, CF (I’m going to keep putting him here, even if Lou won’t)
  2. Theriot, SS
  3. Lee, 1B
  4. Ramirez, 3B
  5. Bradley, RF
  6. Soriano, LF
  7. Soto, C
  8. Fontenot/Baker, 2B
  9. Pitcher

Nationals

Starters: Garrett Mock (2-5, 5.10), J.D. Martin (2-3, 4.76), TBA (0-50, 137.80)

Lineups:

  1. Nyjer Morgan, CF
  2. Christian Guzman, SS
  3. Ryan Zimmerman, 3B
  4. Adam Dunn, 1B
  5. Josh Willingham, LF
  6. Ronnie Belliard, 2B
  7. Elijah Dukes, RF
  8. Josh Bard, C
  9. Pitcher

Hot or Not and Whom to Watch

The same old story is still both same and old when it comes to the Cubs’ offense: it sucks. The Cubs scored a total of six runs in a four game set against the Dodgers, and where therefore lucky to win even one of those games. At least the Cubs get Carlos Zambrano back for the series opener – they could use his bat.

The Cubs once again get a close up look at the man they eschewed in free agency, Adam Dunn. It’s ok, Cubs. He’s only got 33 homers, 89 RBI, and a 1.001 OPS. It’s not as if you could have used that.

marisa miller loves cubsSeries She-View

And now the best part of the preview: if the teams were represented by beautiful women, who would they be, and what would the match up look like. I thought long and hard about who would represent the Cubs this year.

jessica alba assGiven the fact that she’s thrown out the first pitch, sung the Seventh Inning Stretch, probably likes the Cubs – oh, and the fact that she is a level of hot commensurate with the Chicago Cubs’ ability, I’ve chosen supermodel Marisa Miller.

You’re welcome.

jessica alba is hotChoosing a representative for the Washington Nationals was actually very difficult – there are like, no hot women from DC. No wonder Bill gave it up for that hog beast, Monica Lewinsky.

So we had to get very creative on this one – or, we just picked a super hot chick and went with Jessica Alba. Again.

Ok, so there’s at least a little thought to it: 1.) the Nationals, so pitiful in performance, deserve something good in their season, and Jessica Alba is just good; and 2.) Jessica Alba is actually heavily involved in politics and DC causes. So there. Seamless.

So even if the Nationals don’t have a chance on the field (let’s hope they don’t), we’ve at least given them a chance in this Series She-View. A bikini match-up, if you don’t mind?

jessica alba not naked but bikini

Versus

marisa miller bikini

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