Series Preview: Mets v. Cubs, August 28 – August 30, 2009

The Chicago Cubs welcome the only team in Major League Baseball that has been more unlucky than they’ve been: the New York Mets. A refresher on the series preview here at Bleacher Nation:

The idea is to hook you up with the bare minimum of what you need to know about every series this year. That way you can look like a genius, hardcore fan in front of all your friends, with minimum effort. Oh, and there will be pictures of hot chicks, too.

We’re Going Streaking

The Cubs have just five wins in their last 16 games, and just … lost … a … series … to the freaking Nationals. There’s your Cubs’ last month in a nutshell.

The Mets are also struggling, as they have all year, but primarily it has been due to an insane number of injuries. Do you smell an injured cripple fight?

Game Times and Broadcasts

• Friday, August 28 at 1:20 on CSN
• Saturday, August 29 at 3:10 on FOX
• Sunday, August 30 at 1:20 on WGN

Expected Starters and Lineups

These lineups aren’t always perfect, but they’re usually close.

Cubs

Starters: Ted Lilly (9-8, 3.40), Ryan Dempster (7-7, 4.07), Carlos Zambrano (7-5, 3.80)

Lineup:

1. Fukudome, CF (I’m going to keep putting him here, even if Lou won’t)
2. Theriot, SS
3. Lee, 1B
4. Ramirez, 3B
5. Bradley, RF
6. Soriano, LF
7. Soto, C
8. Fontenot/Baker, 2B
9. Pitcher

Mets

Starters: Pat Misch, LHP (0-1, 4.09, Bobby Parnell, RHP (3-6, 5.08), Nelson Figueroa (1-3, 5.40)

Lineups:

1. Angel Pagan, CF
2. Wilson Valdez, SS
3. Daniel Murphy, 1B
4. Jeff Francoeur, RF
5. Corey Sullivan, LF
6. Fernando Tatis, 3B
7. Brian Schneider, C
8. Anderson Hernandez, 2B
9. Pitcher

Hot or Not and Whom to Watch

The Cubs’ offense was fairly good in the Nationals series (as any team’s should be), but the pitching failed to assist. Hopefully Carlos Zambrano can bounce back from his nightmarish outing. Milton Bradley put up a goose egg in yesterday’s series finale, after two great games. Beware the boo birds, Milt.

Good Lord, look at that MASH unit the Mets call a team. If you want to feel bad for the Cubs, just pause and consider: how many of those names in the Mets’ lineup and rotation do you even recognize? Watch them all, and learn who they are. Except Fernando Tatis. Remember Fernando Tatis?

Series She-View

And now the best part of the preview: if the teams were represented by beautiful women, who would they be, and what would the match up look like. I thought long and hard about who would represent the Cubs this year.

Given the fact that she’s thrown out the first pitch, sung the Seventh Inning Stretch, probably likes the Cubs – oh, and the fact that she is a level of hot commensurate with the Chicago Cubs’ ability, I’ve chosen supermodel Marisa Miller.

You’re welcome.

Choosing a representative for New York was brutally difficult. Much like in Los Angeles, if you stretch hard enough, you can find a New York connection for literally any hot woman.

But, we’ll try to keep it legit. How about one of the hottest women in the world, who also grew up in New York City, AND made her name playing a sexy waitress in Manhattan?

Oh yes, it’s the hottest quadragenarian alive: Jennifer Aniston. We’ll go with a tasteful, covered-up, but technically topless match-up.

Versus