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The Chicago Cubs finally head to one of those lavish, lush new stadiums – Citi Field, to meet/greet/take on the Mets. A refresher on the series preview here at Bleacher Nation:

The idea is to hook you up with the bare minimum of what you need to know about every series this year. That way you can look like a genius, hardcore fan in front of all your friends, with minimum effort. Oh, and there will be pictures of hot chicks, too.

We’re Going Streaking

Yes, the Cubs were just humiliated by the White Sox. But that was only one game, friends. In fact, would you believe me if I told you that the Cubs are coming off their first back-to-back series wins in, like, a month? Yeah, doesn’t help when they couldn’t put together a .400 winning percentage for that month. The Cubs are 10.5 out in the Central, and 6.0 out in the Wild Card (behind four teams). Each series that doesn’t yield a sweep can’t be considered anything but a failure at this point.

The Mets have lost 9 of 12, and lost 2 of 3 to the Cubs when the two teams met at Wrigley just a week ago. They have been decimated by injuries this year – like, way worse than the Cubs, and that’s saying something – and at present, comprise one of the worst rosters in baseball. See the above point regarding sweeps.

Game Times and Broadcasts

  • Friday, September 4 at 6:10 on CSN
  • Saturday, September 5 at 12:10 on CSN
  • Sunday, September 6 at 12:10 on WGN

Expected Starters and Lineups

These lineups aren’t always perfect, but they’re usually close.

Cubs

Starters: Carlos Zambrano (7-6, 3.91), Rich Harden (8-8, 4.19), Randy Wells (10-7, 2.90)

Lineup:

  1. Fukudome, CF (Yup, still putting him here – don’t care what Lou says)
  2. Theriot, SS
  3. Lee, 1B
  4. Ramirez, 3B
  5. Bradley, RF
  6. Soriano, LF
  7. Soto, C
  8. Fontenot/Baker, 2B
  9. Pitcher

Mets

Starters: Bobby Parnell, RHP (3-7, 5.81), TBA (6-6, 6.66), Mike Pelfrey (9-10, 5.03)

Lineups:

  1. Angel Pagan, CF
  2. Luis Castillo, 2B
  3. Daniel Murphy, 1B
  4. Jeff Francoeur, RF
  5. Corey Sullivan, LF
  6. Fernando Tatis, 3B (David Wright is back-ish, so he’ll probably play a game or two)
  7. Brian Schneider, C
  8. Wilson Valdez, SS
  9. Pitcher

Hot or Not and Whom to Watch

Carlos Zambrano has had back-to-back worthless starts since coming off the disabled list. The Cubs insist he’s healthy now, it is simply a matter of poor mechanics.

Rich Harden also took a dump on his last start, after learning he would remain a Cub for the rest of the season. Let’s hope the Cubs don’t go on to regret that decision.

The Mets still look like a MASH unit, but at least David Wright has recently come back. It’s unlikely that he’ll play all three against the Cubs, but he’ll surely play one or two. Which is unfortunate, because there’s just something about watching Fernando Tatis.

marisa miller loves cubsSeries She-View

And now the best part of the preview: if the teams were represented by beautiful women, who would they be, and what would the match up look like. I thought long and hard about who would jennifer aniston nakedrepresent the Cubs this year.

Given the fact that she’s thrown out the first pitch, sung the Seventh Inning Stretch, probably likes the Cubs – oh, and the fact that she is a level of hot commensurate with the Chicago Cubs’ ability, I’ve chosen supermodel Marisa Miller.

You’re welcome.

Choosing a representative for New York was brutally difficult. Much like in Los Angeles, if you stretch hard enough, you can find a New York connection for literally any hot woman.

But, we’ll try to keep it legit. How about one of the hottest women in the world, who also grew up in New York City, AND made her name playing a sexy waitress in Manhattan?

Oh yes, it’s the hottest quadragenarian alive: Jennifer Aniston. Admittedly, there’s no cohesive theme to this match-up. They’re both just really hot pictures. So enjoy them, and don’t complain.

jennifer aniston hot

Versus

marisa miller ass

  • biggz

    Hmm, Marisa’s picture didn’t show up. I guess that’s fitting, considering she represents the Cubs.

  • KY CUBS FAN

    Good one, Biggz. But, just the like Mets, Ms. Anniston is damaged.

  • Ace

    Hmm. Well, both teams are indeed broken, but the pictures show up for me (and they’re spectacular).

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