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The Chicago Cubs head to PNC to take on the Pittsburgh Pirates. The Cubs probably could have used a few series against the Pirates in August. A refresher on the series preview here at Bleacher Nation:

The idea is to hook you up with the bare minimum of what you need to know about every series this year. That way you can look like a genius, hardcore fan in front of all your friends, with minimum effort. Oh, and there will be pictures of hot chicks, too.

We’re Going Streaking

Before the Mets series, believe it or not, the Cubs had won a couple series in a row. Of course, that matters not when you’re out by a bajillion games.

Before winning yesterday against the Cardinals, believe it or not, the Pirates had lost nine games in a row. Who are we kidding? Of course you believe it.

Game Times and Broadcasts

  • Monday, September 7 at 11:35 CT on WGN.
  • Tuesday, September 8 at 6:05 CT on CSN.
  • Wednesday, September 9 at 11:35 CT on CSN.

Expected Starters and Lineups

These lineups are likely to be, well, wrong. But they’ll be close.

Cubs

Starters: Ted Lilly (10-8, 3.17), Ryan Dempster (8-8, 3.96), Carlos Zambrano (7-6, 3.80)

Lineup:

  1. Fukudome, CF
  2. Bradley, RF
  3. Lee, 1B
  4. Ramirez, 3B
  5. Fox/Fuld, LF
  6. Fontenot/Baker, 2B
  7. Soto, C
  8. Theriot, SS
  9. Pitcher

Pirates

Starters: Daniel McCutchen (0-0, 4.50), Zach Duke (10-13, 3.71), Kevin Hart (4-5, 4.67)

Lineups:

  1. Andrew McCutchen, CF
  2. Delwyn Young, 2B
  3. Garrett Jones, RF
  4. Lastings Milledge, LF
  5. Ryan Doumit, C
  6. Steve Pearce, 1B
  7. Andy LaRoche, 3B
  8. Ronny Cedeno, SS
  9. Pitcher

Hot or Not and Whom to Watch

No more Alfonso Soriano for the Cubs this year (probably), so the outfield adventures will have to come from somewhere else. Maybe with the more regular insertion of Sam Fuld into the lineup, the outfield will be exciting for all the right reasons.

Ted Lilly continues to dominate this year, and a start against the rag tag Pirates shouldn’t do anything but help that. Derrek Lee is on fire. Like, 2005 pre-wrist injury on fire. In the last month, his OPS is well over 1.000, and he’s hitting .330.

On the Pirates, I’m going to watch Ronny Cedeno. You can do whatever you want. But I’m watching Ronny.

marisa miller cubs jerseySeries She-View

And now the best part of the preview: if the teams were represented by beautiful women, who would they be, and what would the match up look like. I thought long and hard about who would represent the Cubs this year. Given the fact that she’s thrown out the first pitch, sung the Seventh Inning Stretch, probably likes the Cubs – oh, and the fact that she is a level of hot commensurate with the Chicago Cubs’ ability, I’ve chosen supermodel Marisa Miller.

keira knightley prettyYou’re welcome.

For the Pittsburgh Pirates, the choice was surprisingly easy. Not because Pittsburgh is hemorrhaging hot chicks, rife for inclusion here.

No, it’s not the Pittsburgh part that made it easy. It’s the Pirate part. And when I think of hot pirate chicks, only one woman comes to mind: the beautiful Keira Knightley. So once again, we’ll go with the pirate maiden.

That makes this a pretty tough match up for the Cubs – not unlike real life, where every single game looks blindingly hard. And with that word, we come full circle back to Keira Knightley and Marisa Miller. Get it? We’re mature.

So who you got in this series? We’ll go with a sitting-on-the-left-looking-with-slightly-turned-head match up.

keira knightley picture

Versus

marisa miller sexy

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