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The Chicago Cubs welcome the Pirates to Wrigley for four games in three days. The reason for the fourth game is a rain-out in August. That I was at. And it sucked. A refresher on the series preview here at Bleacher Nation:

The idea is to hook you up with the bare minimum of what you need to know about every series this year. That way you can look like a genius, hardcore fan in front of all your friends, with minimum effort. Oh, and there will be pictures of hot chicks, too.

We’re Going Streaking

The Cubs just nearly swept the Giants, effectively shutting the door on their 2009 season. Misery loves company, eh?

And speaking of misery, the Pirates continue to spit in the face of victory, having lost seven of their last ten. Though they did just manage to take three of four from the Dodgers. The parallels to the Cubs are both numerous and uncomfortable.

Game Times and Broadcasts

  • Tuesday, September 29 at 7:05 CT on WGN.
  • Wednesday, September 30 at 1:05 CT on CSN+.
  • Wednesday, September 30 at 7:05 CT on WGN.
  • Thursday, October 1 at 7:05 CT on CSN.

Expected Starters and Lineups

These lineups are likely to be, well, wrong. But they’ll be close.

Cubs

Starters: Ryan Dempster (10-8, 3.68), Ted Lilly (12-8, 3.02), Carlos Zambrano (9-6, 3.69), Tom Gorzelanny (7-2, 4.70)

Lineup:

  1. Fukudome, CF
  2. Bradley, RF
  3. Lee, 1B
  4. Ramirez, 3B
  5. Fox/Fuld, LF
  6. Fontenot/Baker, 2B
  7. Soto, C
  8. Theriot, SS
  9. Pitcher

Pirates

Starters: Kevin Hart (4-8, 5.38), Charlie Morton, (4-9, 5.01),  Jeff Karstens, (3-5, 5.45), Paul Maholm, (8-9, 4.44)

Lineups:

  1. Andrew McCutchen, CF
  2. Delwyn Young, 2B
  3. Garrett Jones, RF
  4. Lastings Milledge, LF
  5. Ryan Doumit, C
  6. Steve Pearce, 1B
  7. Andy LaRoche, 3B
  8. Ronny Cedeno, SS
  9. Pitcher

Hot or Not and Whom to Watch

Derrek Lee should return from his recurrent neck injury, and will hopefully continue his torrid pace. It seems like every week we tout the recent performance of Ryan Dempster, and then once again he pitches well. So, well, we’ll tout him again: Ryan Dempster has been outstanding for a month now.

Tom Gorzelanny’s extended audition for a starting spot next year continues. So far he’s been so-so. A shut down performance against a meager Pirates squad would go a long way.

The Cubs get to look at Kevin Hart, their former pitcher, once again. It’s been a struggle for him since becoming a Pirate: he’s lost six starts in a row, and has an ERA over seven in that time.

marisa miller cubs jerseySeries She-View

And now the best part of the preview: if the teams were represented by beautiful women, who would they be, and what would the match up look like. I thought long and hard about who would keira knightley figurerepresent the Cubs this year. Given the fact that she’s thrown out the first pitch, sung the Seventh Inning Stretch, probably likes the Cubs – oh, and the fact that she is a level of hot commensurate with the Chicago Cubs’ ability, I’ve chosen supermodel Marisa Miller.

You’re welcome.

For the Pittsburgh Pirates, the choice was surprisingly easy. Not because Pittsburgh is hemorrhaging hot chicks, rife for inclusion here.

No, it’s not the Pittsburgh part that made it easy. It’s the Pirate part. And when I think of hot pirate chicks, only one woman comes to mind: the beautiful Keira Knightley. So once again, we’ll go with the pirate maiden.

That makes this a pretty tough match up for the Cubs – not unlike real life, where every single game looks blindingly hard. And with that word, we come full circle back to Keira Knightley and Marisa Miller. Get it? We’re mature.

So who you got in this series? We’ll go with a pretty face match up. It’s not always about banging bodies.

keira knightley beautiful

Versus

marisa miller beautiful

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