Remember when people used to say “not”? That was sweet.

So, if you were trying to sell your car, there were only a few potential buyers for the car, what are some strategies to get the best price? Extol the virtues of your car, while downplaying the negatives? Sure. Drive it around and show people how happy you are with the car? Check. Tell everyone in the world that you absolutely have to sell the car and there’s no way in hell you’ll be driving the car again next year? Um…

I fear that the Chicago Cubs haven’t sold too many cars, let alone a lemon.

Everyone affiliated with the Cubs, in any capacity, when asked about the possibility that Milton Bradley could return to the Cubs next year, has the same answer: zero chance. Outside of one lip-service comment by Jim Hendry a month ago that Bradley is “on the roster,” every message coming from the Cubs clearly and unequivocally states that the team must trade Milton Bradley. Here’s Ron Santo saying that Bradley “is going to be moved.” Here’s Jim Hendry telling a crowd of sponsors that they should expect to see Kosuke Fukudome in right field next year, with a new player in center field.

Just a tremendous strategy when you’re trying to squeeze every last dollar out of the three or so teams – the Tampa Bay Rays, the Texas Rangers, and the Seattle Mariners – rumored to still be moderately interested. None of those teams is particularly excited about acquiring Bradley, but the Cubs remain conflictingly steadfast in two propositions: (1) absolutely have to trade Bradley, and (2) aren’t willing to eat a majority of Bradley’s contract.

That’s a rock and a hard place, and they are both of the Cubs’ own making. But geez guys – you don’t have to tell everyone about the rock.