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Finally, the 2010 season is upon us, and with it brings the Bleacher Nation Series Preview. In case you’d forgotten, we don’t do individual game previews here for at least two reasons: (1) a successful baseball season is more often measured as a product of the team’s performance from series to series rather than game to game, and (2) it reduces my workload by 2/3. I kid, I kid. Mostly. A refresher on the series preview here at Bleacher Nation:

The idea is to hook you up with the bare minimum of what you need to know about every series this year. That way you can look like a genius, hardcore fan in front of all your friends, with minimum effort. Oh, and there will be pictures of hot chicks, too.

We’re Going Streaking

The Reds were a trendy pick to compete in the Central this year, and while they may ultimately do so, they certainly didn’t show it in their opening series against the cream of the Central crop, the Cardinals. The Reds managed a sweep-saving win yesterday with a walk-off homer, but they looked very much overmatched in the series.

The Cubs, on the other hand, put together a tremendous series against the amazing Braves, where the Cubs won the last game of the series, spurring them on to assuredly bigger and better things in 2010.

See what I did there?

Game Times and Broadcasts

  • Friday, April 9 at 6:10 CT on WGN.
  • Saturday, April 10 at 12:10 CT on WGN.
  • Sunday, April 11 at 12:10 CT on CSN+.

Expected Starters and Lineups

These lineups should be pretty close to reality.

Cubs

Starters: Carlos Silva (0-0, -.–), Tom Gorzelanny (0-0, -.–), Carlos Zambrano (0-1, 54.00 (tee hee))

Lineup:

  1. Theriot, SS
  2. Fukudome, CF
  3. Lee, 1B
  4. Ramirez, 3B
  5. Byrd, CF
  6. Soriano, LF
  7. Fontenot, 2B
  8. Soto, C
  9. Pitcher

Reds

Starters: Homer Bailey (0-0, -.–), Mike Leake (0-0, -.–), Aaron Harang (0-1, 5.40)

Lineup:

  1. Drew Stubbs, CF
  2. Orlando Cabrera, SS
  3. Joey Votto, 1B
  4. Brandon Phillips, 2B
  5. Scott Rolen, 3B
  6. Jay Bruce, RF
  7. Jonny Gomes, LF
  8. Ramon Hernandez, C
  9. Pitcher

Hot or Not and Whom to Watch

Marlon Byrd crushed in the Braves series. It didn’t always show up in the box score – though his two bombs did – but Byrd is hitting everything hard. The middle infield finally got its defensive shit together in the third game, after two straight days of disappointing play. No one expects them to win Gold Gloves, but competence is a pretty fair expectation.

We get our first look at Carlos Silva in this series, and we’ll see if the Spring Training success was merely a doughy illusion. Tom Gorzelanny also gets his first start, which will give me the season’s first opportunity to shout “Sloth love Chunk!”

It seems like each of the last 10 years, Homer Bailey has been the young pitcher to watch on the Cubs, and each year, he disappoints. Well, last year the light finally went on, and he managed a 1.70 ERA over his last nine starts in 2009. The Cubs will see another top young pitcher making his Major League debut – no, not Aroldis Chapman, but Mike Leake, the Reds’ first round selection last year.

Beware Joey Votto, who always freaking kills the Cubs.

marisa miller cubsSeries She-View

And now the best part of the preview: if the teams were represented by beautiful women, who would they be, and what would the match up look like. I thought long and hard about whether I should change things up this year, and offer a different representative for the Cubs this year, after a 2009 full of Marisa Miller. But then I realized Marisa Miller is still smoking hot.

jenna fischer boobsSo, given the fact that she’s thrown out the first pitch, sung the Seventh Inning Stretch, probably likes the Cubs, and – like the Cubs – is still hot, just one year older, I’ve chosen to stick with supermodel Marisa Miller. You’re welcome.

For the Cincinnati Reds, it’s just got to be a redhead, no? They may not be from Cincinnati, but the fit is still there.

And while there aren’t an unlimited supply of hot redheads, there are certainly enough to take us through the 2010 season. To start things offer, we’ll go with a profoundly attractive and profoundly underrated hotty (and, well, questionably redheaded): Jenna Fischer.

You may know her better as Pam from The Office, but I know her as “achievable dream girl.” And now you know her as representative of the Cincinnati Reds. So who you got in this match-up? Super model or super real? We’ll make it a … um … posterior match-up.

marisa miller butt

Versus

jenna fischer nude

  • http://twitter.com/rbmryu Rafael Meirelles

    Always a good reading.

    And yeah, I saw what you did there… uhahauhahahu

  • brian

    So umm, what do Caridad, Grabow, and “the shark” have in common? … Oh by the way I figured out why they call him the shark, “we’re gonna need a bigger strike zone.”

    • Ace

      Ha, nice.

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