It’s Series Preview time again, as the Chicago Cubs welcome the woeful Houston Astros to Wrigley. Let’s hope the Cubs aren’t the cure for those woes.
A refresher on the series preview here at Bleacher Nation:
The idea is to hook you up with the bare minimum of what you need to know about every series this year. That way you can look like a genius, hardcore fan in front of all your friends, with minimum effort. Oh, and there will be pictures of hot chicks, too.
We’re Going Streaking
The Cubs finally won a series, taking two of three from the Brewers, and improving to a better-but-still-disappointing 4-5 on the young season.
Unfortunately, the Cubs won’t have the opportunity to extend the Astros’ winless streak to start the season, as they finally got off the schnide with a win yesterday against the Cardinals. While the Astros probably won’t have another 8-game losing streak this year, let’s hope the Cubs can get them started on a three-gamer.
Game Times and Broadcasts
- Friday, April 16 at 1:20 CT on CSN/MLBN.
- Saturday, April 17 at 12:05 CT on CSN.
- Sunday, April 18 at 1:20 CT on WGN.
Expected Starters and Lineups
These lineups should be pretty close to what actually gets thrown out there.
Starters: Carlos Silva (0-0, 1.50), Tom Gorzelanny (0-0, 0.00), Ryan Dempster (1-0, 4.38)
- Theriot, SS
- Fukudome, CF
- Lee, 1B
- Ramirez, 3B
- Byrd, CF
- Soriano, LF
- Fontenot, 2B
- Soto, C
Starters: Felipe Paulino (0-0, 7.20), Roy Oswalt (0-2, 3.75), Wandy Rodriguez (0-2, 6.10)
- Michael Bourn, CF
- Kaz Matsui, 2B
- Pedro Feliz, 3B
- Carlos Lee, LF
- Hunter Pence, RF
- Geoff Blum, 1B
- Tommy Manzella, SS
- J.R. Towles, C
Hot or Not and Whom to Watch
Keep your eyes on starters Carlos Silva and Tom Gorzelanny, who are battling for the final rotation spot when Ted Lilly returns in a week and a half. Each is likely to get just one more start after this series before Lilly comes back, so the time is running out to prove themselves.
The Cubs’ offense found a bit of a spark upon returning home – oh, and facing the Brewers’ terrible starting pitchers didn’t hurt – but, in general, the offense is still pretty bad. The primary offenders? The three big bats in the middle of the lineup: Aramis Ramirez, Marlon Byrd, and Alfonso Soriano. The first two are hitting with some authority, they just aren’t hitting much. And the third… well… you know.
The Cubs offense, as bad as it might be, has truly been a dream compared to, you know, the Astros.
As for those Astros – the poor, poor Astros – the loss of Lance Berkman is wreaking havoc on the lineup. That, and the general lack of, you know, hitting ability. El Caballo Carlos Lee is hitting under .100 this year, but Wrigley Field is always the cure for what ails him. Look for him to have a good weekend, regardless of how much he’s scuffling. The two bright spots? Michael Bourn and Jeff Keppinger, each of whom is hitting out of their mind.
And now the best part of the preview: if the teams were represented by beautiful women, who would they be, and what would the match up look like. I thought long and hard about whether I should change things up this year, and offer a different representative for the Cubs this year, after a 2009 full of Marisa Miller. But then I realized Marisa Miller is still smoking hot.
So, given the fact that she’s thrown out the first pitch, sung the Seventh Inning Stretch, probably likes the Cubs, and – like the Cubs – is still hot, just one year older, I’ve chosen to stick with supermodel Marisa Miller.
For the Astros, it’s a brutal decision. Everything is bigger in Texas, and apparently, the women are better looking. There are a number of beautiful women who hail from the Lone Star State, but for the first Astros She-View of the season, we’ve got to go with someone who is actually from Houston: the beautiful Hilary Duff.
Relax, Hilary is way over 18 at this point. You may be a pervert for any number of reasons, but you’re in the clear on this one. And I’ll take it as a given that you’re thankful I didn’t choose Renee Zellweger, who is also originally from the Houston area.
We’ll make this a lingerie match-up between two beautiful women whose first names are clearly missing a letter. So who you got in this one?