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It’s Series Preview time again, as the Chicago Cubs head out to face the Milwaukee Brewers for the second time on the young season. Miller Park usually plays like Wrigley North, so it should be a fine reception for the Cubs.

A refresher on the series preview here at Bleacher Nation:

The idea is to hook you up with the bare minimum of what you need to know about every series this year. That way you can look like a genius, hardcore fan in front of all your friends, with minimum effort. Oh, and there will be pictures of hot chicks, too.

We’re Going Streaking

You know the story – after losing two of three to the awful Astros, the Cubs just dropped three of four to the (formerly) woeful Mets. The Cubs are now 6-10, just a half game better than the NL Central cellar-dwelling Astros.

The Brewers just swept the Pirates – those poor, poor Pirates – and capped it off with a 20(!) to nothing laugher. Fact: it will now be impossible for them to score many runs against the Cubs, because they’ve used them all up. Don’t argue with it. It’s a fact.

Game Times and Broadcasts

  • Friday, April 23 at 7:10 CT on WGN.
  • Saturday, April 24 at 6:10 CT on WGN.
  • Sunday, April 25 at 1:10 CT on CSN/TBS.

Expected Starters and Lineups

These lineups are likely to be, well, wrong. But they’ll be close.

Cubs

Starters: Ryan Dempster (1-0, 3.15), Ted Lilly (0-0, -.–), Randy Wells (1-0, 2.45)

Lineup:

  1. Theriot, SS
  2. Fukudome, CF
  3. Lee, 1B
  4. Ramirez, 3B
  5. Byrd, CF
  6. Soriano, LF
  7. Fontenot, 2B
  8. Soto, C
  9. Pitcher

Brewers

Starters: Jeff Suppan (0-0, 7.20), Doug Davis (0-1, 11.25), Dave Bush (1-0, 2.41)

Lineups:

  1. Rickie Weeks, 2B
  2. Carlos Gomez/Jim Edmonds, CF
  3. Ryan Braun, LF
  4. Prince Fielder, 1B
  5. Casey McGehee, 3B
  6. Corey Hart/Jim Edmonds, RF
  7. Greg Zaun, C
  8. Alcides Escobar, SS
  9. Pitcher

Hot or Not and Whom to Watch

Obviously, the two guys to watch are the two new pitchers: Ted Lilly makes his 2010 debut, and Carlos Zambrano makes his 2010 debut … as a reliever. Normally, for a struggling team like the Cubs, you’d say how desperately the team will welcome Lilly’s return. But, as great as he has been the last two years, I kind of shrug. The starting pitching has been phenomenal this year, and given that Lilly’s return merely bumps an unpredictable commodity – Zambrano – into the pen, I don’t know how excited I really am.

The real problem, obviously, has been the offense. Aramis Ramirez is now down to an Aaron Miles-esque .127/.188/.302 line, with no signs of turning things around. Don’t look now, but the two best OPS on the team? Last year’s maladroit twins Alfonso Soriano and Geovany Soto. In fact, Soto’s OBP is an insane .522, which is TOPS in the National League among regulars, in second in all of baseball. Can you guess who’s first in baseball right now? No, you can’t. Because it’s Scott Podsednik. Let that be your lesson for the day about small sample sizes.

For the Brewers, they’ve been scuttling along without one of the best bats in their lineup. Sure, Prince Fielder has physically been present in the lineup – come on, you can’t miss him – but he hasn’t done much of anything due to an apparently sore hand.

Oh, but then they faced the Pirates, and erupted for – wait for it – 36 runs in the three-game series. Everybody got in on the action, and thus, if just a few games is your frame of reference for heat, the entire Brewers lineup is hot.

marisa miller cubsSeries She-View

And now the best part of the preview: if the teams were represented by beautiful women, who would they be, and what would the match up look like. I thought long and hard about whether I should change things up this year, and offer a different representative for the Cubs this year, after a 2009 full of Marisa Miller. But then I realized Marisa Miller is still smoking hot.

So, given the fact that she’s thrown out the first pitch, sung the Seventh Inning Stretch, probably likes the Cubs, and – like the Cubs – is still hot, just one year older, I’ve chosen to stick with supermodel Marisa Miller.

You’re welcome.

For the Brew Crew, though we almost went with Tyne Daly, who hails from Madison and is a bundle of hot, we decided to go with a beautiful woman enjoying/serving brew. It’s a perfect fit: they start out young and fit (like young stars Ryan Braun and Yovani Gallardo), but after enough beers, they quickly wind up thick and portly (like Prince Fielder). Tried for a fourth time to change things up for this series, and you may or may not believe it, but finding pictures of hot chicks holding tall frosties is actually not that easy.

This time, we did manage to find a picture of a model-ish hot chick with a beer. So the match up is a bit more fair than ones past, where it was Marisa Miller versus a regular person. The beautiful, chesty woman you see below is model Jennifer Ellison. And yes, this is the same language we’ve used before to describe the woman representing the Brewers. Are you complaining?

ellison beer boobs

Versus

marisa_miller_see_through

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