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It’s Series Preview time again, as the Chicago Cubs welcome the Washington Nationals, who’ve won far too many games lately. Perennially the Pittsburgh Pirate equivalent of the NL East, they can not currently be counted on for a series win. The Cubs might actually have to play well.

A refresher on the series preview here at Bleacher Nation:

The idea is to hook you up with the bare minimum of what you need to know about every series this year. That way you can look like a genius, hardcore fan in front of all your friends, with minimum effort. Oh, and there will be pictures of hot chicks, too.

We’re Going Streaking

If the Chicago Cubs could simply play the Milwaukee Brewers every day, they would have far more wins, and I would have far fewer holes in my wall. The Cubs swept the Brew Crew in Milwaukee, but will now have to prove they can beat any other team. For now, they stand alone in second place in the NL Central, 2.5 games behind the Cardinals.

The Nationals have won 7 of 11, and not against pushovers either – a combination of the Phillies, Rockies, Dodgers, and Brewers (ok, one pushover). They’re still a couple games behind the Phillies in the East, though.

Game Times and Broadcasts

  • Monday, April 26 at 7:05 CT on CSN+.
  • Tuesday, April 27 at 7:05 CT on WCIU.
  • Wednesday, April 28 at 1:20 CT on CSN.

Expected Starters and Lineups

These lineups are likely to be, well, wrong. But they’ll be close.

Cubs

Starters: Carlos Silva (2-0, 0.95), Tom Gorzelanny (0-2, 2.40), Ryan Dempster (2-0, 2.60)

Lineup:

  1. Theriot, SS
  2. Fukudome, CF
  3. Lee, 1B
  4. Ramirez, 3B (he floats around due to the, you know, suck)
  5. Byrd, CF
  6. Soriano, LF
  7. Fontenot, 2B
  8. Soto, C
  9. Pitcher

Nationals

Starters: John Lannan (1-1, 5.82), Livan Hernandez (2-1, 0.75), Luis Atliano (1-0, 1.50)

Lineups:

  1. Nyjer Morgan, CF
  2. Adam Kennedy, 3B (filling in for Ryan Zimmerman)
  3. Christian Guzman, 2B
  4. Adam Dunn, 1B
  5. Josh Willingham, LF
  6. Ivan Rodriguez, C
  7. Ian Desmond, SS
  8. Justin Maxwell, RF (Willie Harris has been hurt, too, which throws things for a loop)
  9. Pitcher

Hot or Not and Whom to Watch

Carlos Silva and Tom Gorzelanny continue their Justify My Spot in the Rotation Tour, but the newly-constituted bullpen hasn’t been tested lately.

Meanwhile the offense has found new life – at least when facing the Brewers. Ryan Theriot has strung together five straight multi-hit games – including a five-hit effort yesterday against the Brewers – which has brought his average up from the depths to now over .300. But before you get all giddy, know that Aramis Ramirez is still struggling terribly.

As for the Nationals, the ageless wonder – who usually seems, well, aged – Ivan Rodriguez is hitting well over .400. That reliever the Cubs wanted – Matt Capps – has a 0.87 ERA and already has seven saves for the Nats. Oops.

And then there’s the Nationals’ Cy Young contender, Livan Hernandez. A perennial innings-eater, Hernandez has his ERA under 1, and he’s look refreshed in Washington.

marisa miller cubsSeries She-View

And now the best part of the preview: if the teams were represented by beautiful women, who would they be, and what would the match up look like. I thought long and hard about whether I should change things up this year, and offer a different representative for the Cubs this year, after a 2009 full of Marisa Miller. But then I realized Marisa Miller is still smoking hot.

jessica alba breastsSo, given the fact that she’s thrown out the first pitch, sung the Seventh Inning Stretch, probably likes the Cubs, and – like the Cubs – is still hot, just one year older, I’ve chosen to stick with supermodel Marisa Miller.

You’re welcome.

Choosing a representative for the Washington Nationals was actually very difficult – there are like, no hot women from DC. No wonder Bill gave it up for that hog beast, Monica Lewinsky. Recycled joke? You betcha.

So we had to get very creative on this one – or, we just picked a super hot chick and went with Jessica Alba. Again.

Ok, so there’s at least a little thought to it: 1.) the Nationals, usually so pitiful in performance, deserve something good, and Jessica Alba is just good; and 2.) Jessica Alba is actually heavily involved in politics and DC causes. So there. Seamless.

Bring on the Nationals, and bring on Jessica Alba. Do it for your country.

jessica alba hot

Versus

  • Bric

    The Nats are the latest fortunate benefactors of the Pirates most recent sell off (they got Morgan and Sean Burnett, a decent lefty for the bullpen) for a couple of guys who’ve been doomed to Pirates pergatory. It will be an interesting series. I gotta laugh, though, at your attempt to connect Jennifer Alba to the Nats. By your reasoning, you could probably connect Kevin Bacon to every NL team, too. Good reading.

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