It’s series preview time again as the Chicago Cubs welcome the Los Angeles Dodgers to Wrigley. The Dodgers are basically the hottest team in baseball. So that’s cool. A refresher on the series preview here at Bleacher Nation:
The idea is to hook you up with the bare minimum of what you need to know about every series this year. That way you can look like a genius, hardcore fan in front of all your friends, with minimum effort. Oh, and there will be pictures of hot chicks, too.
We’re Going Streaking
Don’t look now (seriously, don’t – so help me, if you jinx this…) but the Cubs have won six of eight, after taking two of three from a very good Rangers team. It’s still too early to focus on the standings, which is something you say when your team is still 5 games out of first.
As mentioned, the Dodgers have been ultramega hot. They’ve won 14 of their last 17 – but they’re riding a losing streak of one! Ha! They’ve climbed to within a game of first in the NL West, and are generally a much better team than the Cubs.
Game Times and Broadcasts
- Tuesday, May 25 at 7:05 CT on CSN.
- Wednesday, May 26 at 7:05 CT on WGN.
- Thursday, May 27 at 1:20 CT onCSN.
Expected Starters and Lineups
These lineups should be pretty close to reality.
Starters: Ryan Dempster (2-4, 3.73), Tom Gorzelanny (2-4, 3.09), Ted Lilly (1-4, 4.30)
- Fukudome, CF (Theriot against lefties)
- Theriot, 2B (Castro against lefties, and possibly righties, too – we’ll see how this shakes out)
- Lee, 1B
- Soriano, LF
- Byrd, CF
- Soto, C
- Castro, SS (I don’t think he’ll actually hit here)
- Fontenot/Baker, 3B (Ramirez is expected to sit for a few)
Starters: Clayton Kershaw (4-2, 3.23), Chad Billingsly (5-2, 3.66), John Ely (3-1, 3.41)
- Rafael Furcal, SS (he’s expected back, so this is a bit of a guess on my part)
- Xavier Paul, RF
- Manny Ramirez, LF
- Matt Kemp, CF
- James Loney, 1B
- Casey Blake, 3B
- Russell Martin, C
- Blake DeWitt, 2B
Hot or Not and Whom to Watch
Ryan Theriot has been brutal in May. He’s hitting .263/.280/.275 for the month, which is downright Ramirez-ish. And here’s the real kick in the grapes: the erstwhile top of the order hitter has not taken a walk in over three weeks. Wrap your head around that one for a second.
Sean Marshall has been the pitching opposite of Ryan Theriot in May, putting up a 0.79 ERA. Of course, the Cubs need someone else to step up in the bullpen outside of Marshall and Carlos Marmol, but at least they’ve got those two.
The Cubs will be very lucky to miss Andre Ethier, who won’t be back from the disabled list until this weekend. They will not be so lucky as to miss the Dodgers two best pitchers: Clayton Kershaw and Chad Billingsly. The former has a 0.81 ERA over his last three starts, and the latter has given up just one run in his last two starts. This John Ely kid – an emergency call-up type – ain’t a slouch either.
And now the best part of the preview: if the teams were represented by beautiful women, who would they be, and what would the match up look like. I thought long and hard about whether I should change things up this year, and offer a different representative for the Cubs this year, after a 2009 full of Marisa Miller. But then I realized Marisa Miller is still smoking hot.
So, given the fact that she’s thrown out the first pitch, sung the Seventh Inning Stretch, probably likes the Cubs, and – like the Cubs – is still hot, just one year older, I’ve chosen to stick with supermodel Marisa Miller. You’re welcome.
For the Los Angeles Dodgers, the decision is brutal. Los Angeles has a magnetic center (right around Hollywood), which draws in hot women like I draw in $.89 burritos from Taco Bell. I could probably call up a random L.A. phone number and find a woman sufficiently attractive to represent the Dodgers in this series.
This time, though, we’ll go with non-transplant Los Angeler: Katy Perry. The beautiful and sexy singer was recently named Maxim’s Hottest Woman in the World (or whatever that list is), and it’s hard to argue, what with the coolness and the large breasts. Because that’s all that matters, right? (just kidding, wife!) ((not just kidding, readers!)).
Given the Dodgers recent dominating stretch, they deserved a representative who is recently dominating as well, and Katy Perry fits the bill. So who’ve you got in this one? It’s a cleavage match-up. We keep it classy.