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It’s series preview time again as the Chicago Cubs head out to Los Angeles to take on the Dodgers for a four-game set. The Cubs took two of three last time they faced the Dodgers, and that was when the Dodgers were ultramegahot. I think that means the Cubs are guaranteed to sweep this time. A refresher on the series preview here at Bleacher Nation:

The idea is to hook you up with the bare minimum of what you need to know about every series this year. That way you can look like a genius, hardcore fan in front of all your friends, with minimum effort. Oh, and there will be pictures of beautiful women, too.

We’re Going Streaking

The Chicago Cubs. Just. SWEPT a team. Sure, it was a miserable Diamondbacks club, but the Cubs specialize in losing to miserable teams. So that was great. The not so great? The Cubs are still 10.5 out of first in the Central, and nine games under .500.

The Dodgers are relatively hot, having won six of nine. They’re three games out of first in a very competitive NL West, and they’re eight games above .500.

Game Times and Broadcasts

  • Thursday, July 8 at 9:10 CT on WGN.
  • Friday, July 9 at 9:10 CT on CSN+.
  • Saturday, July 10 at 3:10 CT on FOX.
  • Sunday, July 11 at 7:05 CT ESPN.

Expected Starters and Lineups

These lineups should be pretty close to reality.

Cubs

Starters: Randy Wells (4-6, 4.67), Ted Lilly (3-7, 3.76), TBA (Silva could be out), Tom Gorzelanny (3-5, 3.31)

Lineup (never the same, man; more than a few guesses her):

  1. Theriot, 2B (Fukudome a bit more?)
  2. Colvin, RF
  3. Lee, 1B
  4. Byrd, CF
  5. Ramirez, 3B
  6. Soriano, LF
  7. Soto, C
  8. Castro, SS
  9. Pitcher

Dodgers

Starters: Clayton Kershaw (8-4, 3.02), Chad Billingsly (6-4, 4.06), John Ely (4-6, 4.07), Vicente Padilla (3-2, 4.72)

Lineup:

  1. Rafael Furcal, SS
  2. Matt Kemp, CF
  3. Andre Ethier, RF
  4. James Loney, 1B
  5. Casey Blake, 3B
  6. Xavier Paul, RF
  7. Russell Martin, C
  8. Blake DeWitt, 2B
  9. Pitcher

Hot or Not and Whom to Watch

Against the Diamondbacks, Aramis Ramirez looked like, um, Aramis Ramirez. He went 5-13 with three homers. That three game set added 12 points to his batting average and 45(!) points to his slugging percentage. Never mind that his OPS is still just .592. I said never mind it!

Geovany Soto – still consistently batting at the bottom of the order, mind you – is scorching hot again. In July, he’s hitting .350 with a .908 OPS.

Once again the Cubs face the heart of the Dodger rotation in Kershaw and Billingsly, but they do miss Manny Ramirez, who kills the Cubs (and, well, a lot of teams). Speaking of Kershaw, he’s been dominant at home of late, putting up a 2.25 ERA in his last five home starts.

Matt Kemp has been on a power surge since being briefly benched – he’s hit four homers in his last seven games.

The Cubs missed Andre Ethier last time, and they were glad they did – he was sporting a ridiculous .392/.457/.744 at the time. Since he returned on May 31, those numbers have steadily receded to a more reasonably, though still swell, .322/.378/.566.

marisa miller cubsSeries She-View

And now the best part of the preview: if the teams were represented by beautiful women, who would they be, and what would the match up look like. I thought long and hard about whether I should change things up this year, and offer a different representative for the Cubs this year, after a 2009 full of Marisa Miller. But then I realized Marisa Miller is still smoking hot.

katy perry hot pictureSo, given the fact that she’s thrown out the first pitch, sung the Seventh Inning Stretch, probably likes the Cubs, and – like the Cubs – is still hot, just one year older, I’ve chosen to stick with supermodel Marisa Miller. You’re welcome.

For the Los Angeles Dodgers, the decision is brutal. Los Angeles has a magnetic center (right around Hollywood), which draws in hot women like I draw in $.89 burritos from Taco Bell. I could probably call up a random L.A. phone number and find a woman sufficiently attractive to represent the Dodgers in this series.

This time, though, we’ll once again go with non-transplant Los Angeler: Katy Perry. The beautiful and sexy singer was recently named Maxim’s Hottest Woman in the World (or whatever that list is), and it’s hard to argue, what with the coolness and the large breasts. Because that’s all that matters, right? (just kidding, wife!) ((not just kidding, readers!)).

Given the Dodgers recent solid stretch, they deserved a representative who is recently solid as well, and Katy Perry fits the bill (not, like, fat-wise – just looks-wise). So who’ve you got in this one? We’ll at least put Katy Perry in a bikini, so that she’s fighting on Marisa Miller’s turf.

katy perry bikini

Versus

marisa miller sexy

  • Tanner

    Be a good way to end the HORRIBLE first half, if we could take 3-4.

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