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It’s series preview time again as the second half begins, and the Chicago Cubs are set to DOMINATE! Ha. Snap.

But seriously, the Cubs welcome the Philadelphia Phillies to Wrigley for a four-game set. You should probably set your phasers to “lose,” as any glimmer of hope at this point in the season will be (1) a tease and (2) a deterrent to making meaningful trades. A refresher on the series preview here at Bleacher Nation:

The idea is to hook you up with the bare minimum of what you need to know about every series this year. That way you can look like a genius, hardcore fan in front of all your friends, with minimum effort. Oh, and there will be pictures of beautiful women, too.

We’re Going Streaking

The Chicago Cubs swept the Diamondbacks, only to cough it all back to the Dodgers, losing three of their last four. They enter the second half of the season 11 games under .500, and 9.5 games out of first in the NL Central – behind three other teams.

The Phillies, on the other hand, are on a four game winning streak, as they try to turn around their injury-riddled season. They’re 4.5 back of the Braves in the East, but they’re turning it on.

Game Times and Broadcasts

  • Thursday, July 15 at 7:05 CT on WCIU.
  • Friday, July 16 at 1:20 CT on CSN.
  • Saturday, July 17 at 12:05 CT on CSN.
  • Sunday, July 18 at 7:05 CT ESPN.

Expected Starters and Lineups

These lineups should be pretty close to reality.

Cubs

Starters: Ryan Dempster (7-7, 3.61), Ted Lilly (3-8, 4.08), Wells (4-7, 4.61), Tom Gorzelanny (4-5, 3.16)

Lineup (never the same, man; more than a few guesses her):

  1. Theriot, 2B (Fukudome a bit more?)
  2. Colvin, RF
  3. Lee, 1B
  4. Byrd, CF
  5. Ramirez, 3B
  6. Soriano, LF
  7. Soto, C
  8. Castro, SS
  9. Pitcher

Phillies

Starters: Jamie Moyer (9-8, 4.51), Joe Blanton (3-5, 6.41), Cole Hamels (7-7, 3.78), Roy Halladay (10-7, 2.19)

Lineup:

  1. Jimmy Rollins, SS
  2. Shane Victorino, CF
  3. Jayson Werth, RF
  4. Ryan Howard, 1B
  5. Raul Ibanez, LF
  6. Cody Ransom, 3B
  7. Carlos Ruiz, C
  8. Wilson Valdez, 2B
  9. Pitcher

Hot or Not and Whom to Watch

Hey Aramis. I’m just curious. Where the hell have you been? You all know the story – he was a black hole for the first three months of the season, but in the last week and a half, he’s been all universe. Here’s hoping it continues.

Geovany Soto and Marlon Byrd are also raking lately, each hitting well over .400 in the last week.

Since being recalled, reliever James Russell is back to not giving up runs. That’s a good thing.

The Cubs luck out in missing Chase Utley, who’s still out with a thumb injury. The Cubs do not luck out inasmuch as they face both Cole Hamels and Roy Halladay.

Ryan Howard is tied for the league lead in RBI with 65. So that’s cool.

marisa miller cubsSeries She-View

And now the best part of the preview: if the teams were represented by beautiful women, who would they be, and what would the match up look like. I thought long and hard about whether I should change things up this year, and offer a different representative for the Cubs this year, after a 2009 full of Marisa Miller. But then I realized Marisa Miller is still smoking hot.

kendra wilkinson playboySo, given the fact that she’s thrown out the first pitch, sung the Seventh Inning Stretch, probably likes the Cubs, and – like the Cubs – is still hot, just one year older, I’ve chosen to stick with supermodel Marisa Miller. You’re welcome.

For the Philadelphia Phillies, it was a tough choice. As large as the city is, finding celebrity connections was tough.

But then Playboy threw me a lifeline in the form of a certain recently married, recently pregnant, recently in a sex tape, and most importantly, recently moving to Philadelphia woman: former Girl Next Door, Kendra Wilkinson.

Kendra is still hot, even post-baby, and she moved to Philadelphia to be with wide receiver hopeful husband Hank Baskett. But less talk about him. More talk about Boobs. I mean Kendra.

kendra wilkinson boobs

Versus

marisa miller bra

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