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The longer Derek Jeter went unsigned by the Yankees, you knew there would be some bizarre rumors/speculation about him leaving New York – even though everyone in the world recognizes there is zero chance he’s not in Yankee blue next year.

With the two sides tens of millions of dollars apart (seriously, Derek?), that speculation has begun. And, believe it or not, it includes the Cubs.

Jeter still could help a lot of teams, including the two in Chicago, not to mention that he’s only 74 hits away from 3,000 and is sure to sell a lot of tickets.

Among the teams that at least must be discussing Jeter:

Cubs: With 20-year-old Starlin Castro looking like a rising star, Jeter doesn’t fit at short. But he could add class at third base, allowing Aramis Ramirez to be traded (Red Sox if Adrian Beltre leaves?) or moved to first base. Unfortunately for the Cubs the four years left on Alfonso Soriano’s contract more than likely precludes them from gambling on Soriano’s old double-play partner. chicagotribune.com.

Let me state this as clearly as possible: in no universe – not even a parallel universe where trees grow down and Tony La Russa operates a free hugs booth at the Cubs Convention – are the Chicago Cubs considering making an offer to Derek Jeter. To the extent the Cubs are “discussing” Jeter, it is probably no more than most baseball fans are discussing him and his bizarre monetary demands.

Not only do his positional and offensive abilities not fit the Cubs’ current needs, but his contract demands (something in the realm of five or six years at $20 t0 23 million per year) are so far beyond the Cubs’ financial wherewithal that the light from the Cubs’ financial wherewithal will not reach Jeter’s demands for another 2,000 years.

But, hey. It’s rumor season, so whateves. Make any whacky speculation you’d like, and see what sticks. If nothing else, it’s good for a chuckle.

  • art

    that was Phil Rogers spreading that rumor. I swear he’s lost it.

    • Butcher

      That would imply that Phil ever had it.

  • ed

    straight up silly

  • rylan

    Can’t wait for the OMG derek jeter watch…

    • Ace

      LULZ!!!! JETER!!1!!!!1OMG!!!!

  • pfk

    Guys, this is actually true! It is all part of a deal to bring Konerko to play first base, Uribe to play second base, Castro at short, Jeter to third, Soriano becomes the Designated Hitter (Selig is about to announce the DH coming to the NL next season), Cliff Lee is the Cubs’ opening day starter and Upton goes to left field. It is a very complicated deal but it’s all but final.

    • Ace

      I believe Cliff Lee is coming as ace starter/pitching coach.

  • george

    cubs need him

  • Fella

    “in no universe – not even a parallel universe where trees grow down and Tony La Russa operates a free hugs booth at the Cubs Convention – are the Chicago Cubs considering making an offer to Derek Jeter.”

    LOL, nice Ace…. that made me about spit my drink out.

    • Ace

      Thanks, Fella. I vomit out a good one every now and again.

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