I defy you to find a more hilariously nostalgic Spring Training non-roster invitation list than that of the Chicago Cubs. Yesterday, the Cubs added light-hitting, heavy-gloving former Cub Augie Ojeda to the list – and anything Augie touches turns to gold. That’s precisely what the list is: gold.

  • Augie Ojeda – former Cub, never particularly good.
  • Todd Wellemeyer – former Cub, never particularly good (with the Cubs), after his dominant first week with the team.
  • Angel Guzman – current/former Cub, never particularly healthy (except that awesome 2009 season).
  • Reed Johnson – former Cub, dove a lot (and was thus loved).
  • Luis Montanez – former Cub prospect, never particularly good (but well-paid).
  • Braden Looper – former Cub¬†dalliance, not particularly pitchy last year (as in, he didn’t).
  • Scott Rice – former, er, current, um, well, uh… who?
  • Bobby Scales – current/former Cub, never particularly good (but damn if we don’t still like him anyway).
  • Scott Moore – former Cub, never particularly good (and helped the Cubs get Steve Trachsel for the second time, which is even worse).
  • Bryan LaHair – current/former Cub, never particularly good (last name means The Hair).
  • Brad Snyder – current/former Cub, never particularly good (in the bigs, might be Jason Dubois reincarnated).
  • …and the rest.

Ok, the rest include some interesting names:  prospects Chris Carpenter, Jay Jackson, Trey McNutt, Marquez Smith, Josh Vitters, and Brett Jackson, as well as minor leaguers Jim Adduci, Matt Camp, Steve Clevenger and Chris Robinson.

Pitchers and catchers report in just over two weeks on February 13 (swoon).

  • pfk (Peter F. Kempf)

    Hilarious post! I love the formal invitation. And, just who is Scott Rice anyway? I wonder if a person could scam the Cubs and come as an invitee? If anyone asks just tell them, “Yea, I never made it out of the Midwest League with Appleton.”

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  • Kenny L.

    Ace, I like that you can make a post about nonroster invited players funny and interesting. Thanks.

  • philoe beddoe

    I love the “not particularly pitchy” line…what a load of garbage these guys are…the good news for most of these guys is that as soon as they are released they will be immediately snatched up the O’s…didn’t Augie Ojeda actually hurt us in the 2007 beating we took from Arizona?

  • curt

    ive heard hee-sop-choi and corey patterson, and felix pie are going 2 be there too jk