Humorous Take on Alfonso Soriano’s Contract February 17, 2011, by Brett Taylor Cubs Humor The Onion suggests a method for dealing with Alfonso Soriano’s cripplingly large contract. Emphasis on cripple. Thanks to reader Brent for the find. Onion SportsDomeHEAD DOWN TO THE COMMENTS OR SHARE THIS SWELL POST WITH YOUR FRIENDS: Post navigationPrevious PostPrevious post:Allow Your Albert Pujols Fantasies to Run Wild for a Day or TwoNext Post Next post:Positional Players Report, And Other Spring Training BulletsMore From Bleacher NationCubs Minor League Daily: Two Games, Two LossesBrewers Reliever Josh Hader Had a Very, Very Bad All-Star Game – On the Field and On Twitter2018 All-Star Game Headlined by Record-Smashing 10 Homers, Including Willson Contreras (VIDEOS)Sure Sounds Like Manny Machado Will Be Traded to the Dodgers Soon (UPDATE)WILLSONNNN!!! Contreras With a Rocket Homer in the All-Star Game! (VIDEO)Pre-All-Star-Gamin’: Lineups, Broadcast Info, Game ThreadJoe Girardi, Dusty Baker, and Carlos Beltran Could Be in the Mix for the Cardinals’ Vacant Managerial GigJavy Baez and the Rest of the Cubs All-Stars Are Running the Red CarpetMLBits: Wacha Not Throwing, MiLB Grinding, Red Sox Pace, Verlander, DH, Utley, MoreMake Sure to Follow BN on Instagram for More Cubs Goodness Author: Brett Taylor Brett Taylor is the Editor and Lead Writer at Bleacher Nation, and you can find him on Twitter at @BleacherNation and @Brett_A_Taylor.