Humorous Take on Alfonso Soriano’s Contract February 17, 2011, by Brett Taylor Cubs Humor The Onion suggests a method for dealing with Alfonso Soriano’s cripplingly large contract. Emphasis on cripple. Thanks to reader Brent for the find. Onion SportsDomeHEAD DOWN TO THE COMMENTS OR SHARE THIS SWELL POST WITH YOUR FRIENDS: Post navigationPrevious PostPrevious post:Allow Your Albert Pujols Fantasies to Run Wild for a Day or TwoNext Post Next post:Positional Players Report, And Other Spring Training BulletsMore From Bleacher NationChicago Cubs Lineup: Schwarber and Heyward Sit Against the LeftyCubs Call Up Utility Prospect David BoteFun With Yesterday’s Big Win and the Cubs’ Recent Offensive ExplosionThe Javy-Al Duo, Happ’s Whiffs, Alzolay’s Outing, and Other BulletsBen Zobrist (Back) is Headed to the Disabled ListWake Up and Watch Javy Baez’s Four-Hit NightCubs Minor League Daily: Pitching Prospect Adbert Alzolay Excellent In AAA DebutEnhanced Box Score: Cubs 16, Rockies 5 – April 20, 2018Kyle Schwarber Crushes a Three-Run Shot to Center as the Cubs Blow Up (VIDEO)Javy Baez Just Went Oppo in Colorado Like He Did in His Big League Debut! (VIDEO) Author: Brett Taylor Brett Taylor is the Editor and Lead Writer at Bleacher Nation, and you can find him on Twitter at @BleacherNation and @Brett_A_Taylor.