Thank the gods that the Chicago Cubs managed to win a series against the Astros before heading to Denver to take on a, you know, real team.

The Series Preview hooks you up with what you need to know about every series this year – streaks, broadcast information, pitchers, lineups, etc. That way you can look like a genius, hardcore fan in front of all your friends, with minimum effort. Oh, and there will be pictures of beautiful women, too.


We’re Going Streaking

The Cubs have alternated series wins and series losses so far this year, so they come into the series at an even 6-6, two games back of the Reds in the Central. Obviously it’s too early to worry about the standings, but the Cubs do need to be careful that they don’t let the Reds get too far out ahead.

The Rockies are, like, good. They have the best record in the National League at 10-2, and they’ve done a good bit of that without ace Ubaldo Jimenez. They’ve also done it almost entirely on the road. The Cubs get the Rockies at Coors Field, so maybe that’s where their luck will change?

Game Times and Broadcasts

  • Friday, April 15 at 7:40 CT on WCIU
  • Saturday, April 16 at 7:10 CT on WGN
  • Sunday, April 17 at 2:10 CT on WGN

Expected Starters and Lineups

These lineups should be pretty close to the real deal.


Starters: Matt Garza (0-1, 5.68), Casey Coleman (0-0, 7.20), Ryan Dempster (1-2, 6.30)


  1. Castro, SS
  2. Barney, 2B
  3. Byrd, CF
  4. Ramirez, 3B
  5. Pena, 1B (if he’s back)
  6. Soriano, LF
  7. Soto, C
  8. Colvin, RF (until Fukudome comes back, which should be soon)
  9. Pitcher


Starters: Jhoulys Chacin (2-0, 2.77), Jason Hammel, (1-0, 4.91), Alan Johnson (0-0, -.–)


  1. Dexter Fowler, CF
  2. Seth Smith, RF
  3. Carlos Gonzalez, LF
  4. Troy Tulowitzki, SS
  5. Todd Helton, 1B
  6. Ian Stewart, 3B
  7. Jonathan Herrera, 2B
  8. Chris Iannetta, C
  9. Pitcher

Hot or Not and Whom to Watch

It’s been true of every start of his this season, but we’re still waiting to see the Matt Garza that Jim Hendry was so enamored with that he sent a bevy of prospects – and superhero Sam Fuld – to the Rays for Garza this Winter. He says he’s going to throw more fastballs this time around. Let’s hope he misses a lot of bats, because, you know, Coors Field…

At the top of the order, the Cubs have been as hot as any team in baseball. Starlin Castro and Darwin Barney went 1-2 throughout the Astros series, and they each reached base multiple times in each game. Obviously it doesn’t get much better than that from your table-setters.

Casey Coleman will try, try again, but once again draws a tough assignment. Tyler Colvin is cold. Very cold.

On the Rockies, you’d be hard pressed to find someone who *isn’t* hot. Troy Tulowitzki’s OPS right now? Are you sitting down? 1.500(!!!).

One Rockie who isn’t scorching hot? Multimillion dollar man, Carlos Gonzalez. Although he’s been dynamite in the field, Cargo is hitting just .260/.309/.360 on the young season.

The Cubs will get a minor league call-up in the third game of the season, Alan Johnson, so prepare to watch them be frustratingly dominated.

Series She-View

So, as I’ve explained, we’re going to do something a little different with the Series She-View this year. It will still be one beautiful woman representing the Cubs taking on another (usually) beautiful woman representing the opponent, but the Cubs won’t have one set representative for the entire year. The Cubs’ representative will change as the team’s needs change – in other words, if the Cubs are winning, the rep will stay the same. But if the Cubs’ performance calls for a change, someone new will step in. The opponent’s representative will change from series to series, at my whim. But at least she’ll probably be wearing the opponent’s colors.

Having won their last series with her at the helm, the Chicago Cubs, for the immediate future, will be represented in the Series She-View by model, mathematics expert, and humanitarian, Brooklyn Decker. You’re welcome.

Going for the Rockies this series is ‘Mad Men’ star and all-around beautiful woman, Christina Hendricks. I’ll leave it to you to figure out why she’s representing the Rockies.


  • Dan0mite

    Screw the games, I’m just gonna stare at this post all weekend.

    • Ace

      Then my job is done.

  • Ol’CharlieBrown

    I’ll be at the Saturday night and Sunday games!! Hopefully the fellas will be able to pull out a win on at least one of those games. I like our chances on Sunday more than Saturday.

  • pfk

    Why on earth did they schedule both games at night this time of year on a weekend? I can understand a weekday. It going to be in the 60’s during the day and the 40’s at night.

    • Dan0mite

      They are drunk on that delicious piss water known as Coors Light. Nothing like a beer brewed in a dirty sock.

      • Ace

        As far as the cheap domestics go, I think Coors Light is one of the better ones…

  • Serio

    That Garza trade looks awesome!

    • roughriider

      Garza can officially change his name to Broglio know.

      • roughriider


        • Dan0mite

          He’s only had three starts and we’re only 13 games in. Let’s save the hysterics and hyperbole till at least 6 starts and 28 games.

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