Well, this should be a pretty hum-drum, boring series against a random team that is totally not in the news for reasons wholly unrelated to baseball. Except for the comatose Giants fan beat up by Dodger fans. And the whole team-seized-by-Major-League-Baseball thing. Yup. Pretty hum-drum.

By way of reminder, the Series Preview hooks you up with what you need to know about every series this year – streaks, broadcast information, pitchers, lineups, etc. That way you can look like a genius, hardcore fan in front of all your friends, with minimum effort. Oh, and there will be pictures of beautiful women, too.

We’re Going Streaking

The Chicago Cubs are IN FIRST PLACE IN THE NL CENTRAL! I absolutely refuse to say anything else about the team at this time. (what’s that? other teams played yesterday and won? lalalalala I can’t hear you)

The Dodgers have won four out of their last five (despite the distractions), after losing six of seven. Like the Cubs, the Dodgers come into the series at .500.

Game Times and Broadcasts

  • Friday, April 22 at 1:20 CT on WGN.
  • Saturday, April 23 at 12:05 CT on CSN.
  • Sunday, April 24 at 1:20 CT CSN, TBS.

Expected Starters and Lineups

These lineups should be pretty close to reality.


Starters: Casey Coleman (1-0, 4.22), Ryan Dempster (1-2, 6.84), Carlos Zambrano (2-0, 4.21)


  1. Fukudome, RF
  2. Barney, 2B
  3. Castro, SS
  4. Ramirez, 3B
  5. Pena, 1B
  6. Byrd, CF
  7. Soriano, LF
  8. Soto, C
  9. Pitcher


Starters: Chad Billingsly (1-1, 4.91), Ted Lilly (1-2, 4.09), TBA


  1. Jamie Carrol, SS
  2. Casey Blake, 3B
  3. Andre Ethier, RF
  4. Matt Kemp, CF
  5. Juan Uribe, 2B
  6. James Loney, 1B
  7. Jerry Sands, LF
  8. Rod Barajas, C
  9. Pitcher

Hot or Not and Whom to Watch

Most eyes will be on the pitching this series: can Casey Coleman turn in another solid start? Can Ryan Dempster finally turn in a good outing from beginning to end? Did Carlos Zambrano dominate last time out because he’s back or because he was facing the Padres?

Starlin Castro is still awesome, but he cooled a fair bit in the Padres series, managing just two hits in 13 at bats. Also cold? Tyler Colvin and Carlos Pena. Of course, their stretch of cool dates back to, oh, about April 1.

For the Dodgers, obviously the guy I want to see is Ted Lilly. Hopefully he gets a warm reception from the fans, and a brutal reception from the Cubs.

On the offensive side, the Dodgers begin and end with outfielders Andre Ethier and Matt Kemp. They sport OPS numbers in the stratosphere, and always seem to do well against the Cubs.

Series She-View

The Series She-View is one beautiful woman representing the Cubs taking on another (usually) beautiful woman representing the opponent. The Cubs’ representative will change as the team’s needs change – in other words, if the Cubs are winning, the rep will stay the same. But if the Cubs’ performance calls for a change, someone new will step in. The opponent’s representative will change from series to series, at my whim. But at least she’ll probably be wearing the opponent’s colors.

The Chicago Cubs are currently represented in the Series She-View by model, mathematics expert, and humanitarian, Brooklyn Decker. You’re welcome. Her tenure was solidified slightly by the Padres series win, but more of this win/lose/win/lose/win/lose stuff may call for a change. Which is hard to admit, because she’s so damn hot.

The Dodgers will be represented by one of the approximately one million attractive celebrities in Los Angeles at any given moment, Katy Perry. She’s actually from Los Angeles (I think – who can be bothered to check facts when there are pictures to review?), so it makes even more sense. And she does the blue hair thing sometimes.

Who you got winning? Brooklyn? Katy? You? I choose you.

katy perry boobs


brooklyn decker stomach

  • TWC

    Ace, you not see the twitterverse this AM? Byrd’s been dropped to #6.

    Lineup: Fukudome, Barney, Castro, Ramirez, Peña (sigh), Byrd, Soriano, Soto, Coleman. At least that’s for today. I expect that Baker’s in against Lilly tomorrow.

    • Ace

      For a variety of time reasons, sometimes the Series Previews are queued up in advance; so as of the writing, it wasn’t yet known that Byrd was getting bumped. Updated – and thanks.

      • TWC

        What? And here I thought all your posts were extemporaneous nuggets of wisdom. Color me shocked.

        • Ace

          They are! It’s just that sometimes the extemporaneity occurs in advance… :)

  • Hogie

    If ever there was a game for Hill to start it was today. He has a couple hits w/ a home run, Soto is 0fer, young pitcher usually gets the vet… if they want his input, make him a coach and get him off the roster! Half a dozen catchers in the system that are tearing it up and we are wasting bench spots! I want to like Q, but he’s starting to make me question too many moves.

    • Dan0mite

      I think at the end if the day Q has very little say in who is on the roster.

      • Hogie

        Very true, maybe Q playing him as little as possible is protest.

      • Michigan Goat

        I think that is painfully obvious

  • Joe

    Although your image choices are of course fine, I would like to point out that you could have (and some might argue should have) used a real life Dodger obsessed sex-symbol like say


    Or, as she is more lustfully known

    I personally would have much rather seen that then Perry

    • Ace

      I’m just not a Milano fan…

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