Enhanced Box Score: Reds 2, Cubs 0 – May 8, 2011

Did you know that, in four minor league rehab starts, Johnny Cueto had an ERA of, like, seven? The Chicago Cubs offense is, once again, the cure to what ails you. It turns out that yesterday’s unbelievably un-Cub-like victory was not the start of something new – it was merely another in a long line of God’s hateful teases.

At least Ryan Dempster was solid again. And Jeff Samardzija continues to look good (in addition to getting good results; I’m saying he affirmatively looks like an actual good reliever).

Brett Taylor is the editor and lead writer at Bleacher Nation, and can also be found as Bleacher Nation on Twitter and on Facebook.

14 responses to “Enhanced Box Score: Reds 2, Cubs 0 – May 8, 2011”

  1. Dan0mite

    If this marks the end of Sofia’s tenure as Cubs rep may I officially nominate Marina Orlova? For no other reason than she is unbelievably hot. I mean seriously hot.

    1. Joe

      Seriously, I think its about time we start questioning the use of ladies period. I mean, how long has this site been trying different females attempting to find something, anything, to spark a run?

      Maybe its time we start trying Men as the Cubs reps. Or ya know, could be we need to use Goats…

      1. Dan0mite

        If we go dudes I nominate Bradley Cooper. He is a stud.

  2. Blinda

    I think for this upcoming series the Cubs rep should be a picture of the most attractive thing on this planet… a Chipotle burrito

  3. Cardfan

    If you guys are this loopy in early May, I’m not sure if you’ll make it into July…

    Think about it – the “He-View”? For the love of all that is good in the world, delete this thread Ace.

  4. Michigan Goat

    It’s a weekend series like this that really makes me miss Ronny; although, he may not have made it through the weekend. I was really expecting a bolt of lightening to strike Wrigley when we left loaded bases for the (insert number here) time.

    But I do want to say that I’ve enjoyed Keith so far this year, but I do miss the Ronny explosions… He may be the only announcer who could react like a true fan, yet still keep the broadcast together. I know that I would destroy equipment, curse, and do bodily harm if I was announcing games for the Cubs, regardless if they were winning or losing.

  5. Caleb

    Dudes, come on. If this “one woman” representative thing doesn’t seem to be doing the trick, you don’t switch to guys. Be reasonable.

    Just pick *2* women instead. Cubs get 2 chicks, opposing team gets one.

    It’s science.