Ah, the Cardinals. The St. freaking Louis Cardinals. Just what the Cubs need as they’re coming off a series against another top team in the Central; a series that they Cubs had no business winning but totally should have won. Though, I suppose if there’s a team against whom we’d all love to see the Cubs break out, it’s the Cardinals. It’s just that, well, the Cardinals are damn good this year.
By way of reminder, the Series Preview hooks you up with what you need to know about every series this year – streaks, broadcast information, pitchers, lineups, etc. That way you can look like a genius, hardcore fan in front of all your friends, with minimum effort. Oh, and there will be pictures of beautiful women, too.
We’re Going Streaking
The Cubs lost two of three to the Reds, after taking two of three from the Dodgers. They’re four back of the Cardinals in the Central, and three games under .500.
The Cardinals sit atop the Central like douchey royalty. They’re five games over .500, and haven’t lost a series since the second week of April. Grumble.
Game Times and Broadcasts
- Tuesday, May 10 at 7:05 CT on WGN, MLBN.
- Wednesday, May 11 at 7:05 CT on CSN, ESPN.
- Thursday, May 12 at 1:20 CT on CSN.
Expected Starters and Lineups
These lineups should be pretty close to reality.
Starters: Carlos Zambrano (4-1, 4.23), Matt Garza (1-4, 4.43), Casey Coleman (1-2, 6.29)
- Fukudome, RF
- Castro, SS
- Byrd, CF
- Ramirez, 3B
- Pena, 1B
- Soriano, LF
- Soto, C
- Barney, 2B (this is a guess based on the movement of Castro)
Starters: Chris Carpenter (0-2, 4.19), Jake Westbrook (2-, 6.14), Jaime Garcia (4-0, 1.99)
- Ryan Theriot, SS
- Colby Rasmus, CF
- Albert Pujols, 1B
- Matt Holliday, LF
- Lance Berkman, RF
- Yadier Molina, C
- Nick Punto, 3B
- Tyler Greene, 2B
Hot or Not and Whom to Watch
The demise of Starlin Castro has not be exaggerated. He’s just 7 for his last 51, with one extra base hit. It’s ugly, folks, but this is the process.
Marlon Byrd has turned it on a bit of late, and quietly has a 10 game hitting streak going. Carlos Pena has his OPS up to .641, which, if you’ve been following his season, is quite an accomplishment. He also leads the league in warning track shots that make me punch the wall.
Jeff Samardzija is working on a 14 inning scoreless streak, the first half of which was smoke and mirrors, but the second half of which has been actual good pitching.
The bullpen on a whole hasn’t given up a run in 22.1 innings… which, now, of course means that they’ll blow a game in this series because I opened my stupid mouth.
On the Cardinal side of things, people will tell you that Chris Carpenter is off to a slow start. I will not tell you that, however, as there’s no doubt in my mind that will take the Cubs behind the woodshed. Until some hiccups in his last few starts, Carpenter had a career ERA against the Cubs under three. Jaime Garcia, now the other Cardinal ace, has not been off to a slow start. But he still has a misspelled girl’s name.
Matt Holliday leads the NL in batting average at .398. Second place? Lance Berkman at .374. That’s right, the two top-hitting players in the National League are both on the Cardinals, and neither one is Albert Pujols.
The Series She-View is one beautiful woman representing the Cubs taking on another (usually) beautiful woman representing the opponent. The Cubs’ representative will change as the team’s needs change – in other words, if the Cubs are winning, the rep will stay the same. But if the Cubs’ performance calls for a change, someone new will step in. The opponent’s representative will change from series to series, at my whim. But at least she’ll probably be wearing the opponent’s colors or something like that.
The Chicago Cubs were represented in the Series She-View by Sofia Vergara, but, after a frustrating series loss to the Reds, I’m going in a different direction for this one.
A very different direction. Thanks to a reader comment, this series, the Chicago Cubs will be represented by a Chipotle Burrito. Think that’s weird? Don’t like it? Too bad. They’re delicious, sexy, and I make the rules. Oh, and it’s even topless.
As for the Cardinals, they can have Sarah Jessica Parker. I will leave the “why” to your imagination.