Well, the Red Sox series was far less enjoyable than I’d hoped. Sure, seeing the Cubs at Fenway was kind of cool, but the Garza/Byrd/Baker injury train was not. The series loss sucked, too. Onward home the Cubs go, finally hosting a beatable opponent, the New York Mets.

By way of reminder, the Series Preview hooks you up with what you need to know about every series this year – streaks, broadcast information, pitchers, lineups, etc. That way you can look like a genius, hardcore fan in front of all your friends, with minimum effort. Oh, and there are pictures of beautiful women, too.

We’re Going Streaking

After winning two in a row in Miami, the Cubs dropped two of three in Boston, which, given the circumstances, was expected. They’re five games under .500, and a season-high seven back in the Central.

The Mets, for all their injury and financial troubles, are a few games better than the Cubs, and six and a half games out in the East. They’ve won seven of their last eleven.

Game Times and Broadcasts

  • Tuesday, May 24 at 7:05 CT on WGN.
  • Wednesday, May 25 at 7:05 CT on CSN.
  • Thursday, May 26 at 1:20 CT on WGN.

Expected Starters and Lineups

These lineups should be pretty close to the real deal.


Starters: Ryan Dempster (2-4, 6.91), Casey Coleman (2-3, 6.03), Carlos Zambrano (4-2, 4.88)


  1. Fukudome, RF
  2. Barney, 2B
  3. Castro, SS
  4. Ramirez, 3B
  5. Pena, 1B
  6. Soriano, LF
  7. Johnson, CF
  8. Hill, C
  9. Pitcher


Starters: Jon Niese (3-4, 4.39), Dillon Gee (3-0, 3.44), R.A. Dickey (2-5, 4.71)


  1. Jose Reyes, SS
  2. Daniel Murphy, 1B
  3. Carlos Beltran, CF
  4. Jason Bay, LF
  5. Fernando Martinez, RF
  6. Justin Turner, 2B
  7. Willie Harris, 3B
  8. Josh Thole, C
  9. Pitcher

Hot or Not and Whom to Watch

Marlon Byrd has been really… oh. Well, Geovany Soto is finally turning… oh. Jeff Baker’s been crushing the… oh. At least Matt Garza can… oh.

Some of the worst starting pitcher offenders will feature in this series for the Cubs, as they try to put a dent in their league-worst 5.54 starter ERA. Casey Coleman has been one of those offenders – at least, he has every other start. And, given that his last start was a solid performance against the Marlins, I’m nervous for his Wednesday outing.

Will Mike Quade just start Tony Campana already? I won’t even pretend to understand why Blake DeWitt got a start in the outfield – the first of his career – before Campana. I want the legend of Campana to grow!

It’s probably unfair to complain about injuries when facing the Mets, who are without David Wright, Ike Davis, and Angel Pagan.

One guy who’s not injured anymore is Carlos Beltran. In the midst of a renaissance year, Beltran is hitting .280/.377/.533 with 22 extra base hits.

Oh, good, the Cubs face another knuckler. At least the last time the Cubs faced RA Dickey, they knocked him around silly – and that was in the midst of his good season last year. As for Niese and Gee, each is coming off a dominating performance against the Nationals.

Series She-View

The Series She-View is one beautiful woman representing the Cubs taking on another (usually) beautiful woman representing the opponent. The Cubs’ representative will change as the team’s needs change – in other words, if the Cubs are winning, the rep will stay the same. But if the Cubs’ performance calls for a change, someone new will step in. The opponent’s representative will change from series to series, at my whim. But at least she’ll probably be wearing the opponent’s colors or have some connection to the team or something like that.

At present, the Cubs are represented by the beautiful January Jones. No, the Cubs didn’t win their last series. But, damnit, she’s hot. So she stays for at least one more series.

Also, I’m currently watching ‘Mad Men’ through Netflix, so I’ve got her on the brain.

For the Mets, I will stick with the two-women-reps thing, not only because it’s worked (Cubs are 3-2 in such situations), but because I was able to think of two women that make sense for the Mets.

Specifically, the Mets will be represented by Blake Lively and Leighton Meester from ‘Gossip Girl,’ which I’m told takes place in New York. I’m sure you’re not complaining about the two reps.

Tough match-up for the Cubs, I must say.


january jones cleavage

  • Spencer

    The Mets are a mess right now. They’re banged up just like we are, except it also seems like their owner hates half the team. Maybe he’s grumpy since he’s being sued for $1 billion. But that’s beside the point. This seems like a winnable series. Not expecting much from Coleman, especially since Gee is having such a good season, but maybe Demp and Z can pitch well enough for us to take 2 of 3. Unless Dickey goes all Tim Wakefield on us.

    • Ace

      Two of three would be a fantastic start to this nine game stretch.

  • Butcher

    I’ve had a crush on Mrs. Draper for quite some time. I approve of the choice.

    • Ace

      I think I remember you suggesting her at some point. Must’ve stuck in my head. She’s all right (in terms of hotness) as Betty, but much, much hotter as a model. I first thought she was hot in “American Wedding.”

  • Raymond Robert Koenig

    Nice pics. For cleavage though, nobody beats Nikki Cox. What do I have to do, post her pics myself?

    • Ace

      Ha, someday, Ray. Someday.

    • Dan0mite

      But it is hard to get past her lizard face. All that plastic surgery has messes her up.

      • Raymond Robert Koenig

        She has a face?

        • http://twitter.com/thomaswconroy TWC

          If you can call it that…

          • Raymond Robert Koenig

            The cleavage is real.

            • Jeffy

              Maybe Ace can photoshop a paper bag over her head.

            • Dan0mite

              “the cleavage is real”.

              I’m sure there is a plastic surgeon who could argue otherwise.

  • Raymond Robert Koenig

    Thanks, Ace. I watch reruns of “Las Vegas” just for her cleavage.

  • Jeffy

    I had a dream I was a Cubs outfielder last night. Needless to say, it was a nightmare.

  • Serio

    WOW i thought the Cubs were bad

    • Ace

      Don’t tempt fate, Serio…

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