Freaking Pirates. The Chicago Cubs are now 1-3 against them this year, and haven’t played the Pirates decently on the whole in over two years.

  • Carlos Zambrano attributes his neck soreness to the way he sleeps and the way he watches TV. It’s an injury right up there with sneezing, hauling deer meat, and getting drunk and falling into a trash can (bonus points if you can name all three; only two are former Cubs). Or, with typing too much – another Zambrano malady. I can’t make too much fun of Z for this one as I’ve had the exact same problem from a bad TV angle. He and the Cubs still say he won’t miss a start.
  • Casey Coleman is going to get bumped to AAA Iowa today when Randy Wells is activated for his start. Coleman finishes his opportunity to stay in the Cubs’ rotation with a miserable 7.32 ERA and a 2.047(!!) WHIP over eight starts and 35.2 innings. His ERA+ of 56 means he was 44% worse than the average starting pitcher over the stretch. Goo. He’s still just 23, and who knows what might happen for him down the road if he can get his command issues under control. Coleman’s a kid who, by nature, has to nibble. And if he’s not hitting his spots, he’s walking guys or getting crushed. Randy Wells has become successful with the same style, and it took Wells until he was 26.
  • Marlon Byrd was on the Score today, and acknowledged that he wonders whether he’ll flinch when he first steps into the batter’s box. Hopefully not. Either way, that day is still a ways off.
  • To make room on the 40-man roster for Rodrigo Lopez, the Cubs designated Robert Coello for assignment. Unless he’s claimed by another team, he’ll remain with the Iowa Cubs, where he has a 7.82 ERA in 48.1 innings, mostly starting. The man whom the Cubs traded to the Red Sox for Coello in the Spring? Tony Thomas has a humble .219/.304/.401 line for the Sox’s AAA affiliate.
  • Dan0mite

    Either Ace is up early or out late cause It’s 4:46 AM here in EST.

    • Ian Afterbirth

      It was Friday so I’ll wager “up late”.

  • Raymond Robert Koenig

    No bonus points for me. I remember the stories about the sneezing injury and the falling into the trash can drunk. But I can’t remember who the players were. I don’t remember about the hauling deer meat injury.

  • TIM

    Sneezing was sosa i believe

  • http://BleacherNation Bric

    After Coleman’s miserable two weeks in the bigs I guess we can go back to trusting the analystists’ predictions about how players not in the top minors’ 100 will fare at the big league level, regardless of how many dozens of players Hendry has amassed in the “second” 100.

    When you only have 12 pitchers, quantity will never equal quality- but in his crazy math 5 pitchers with an ERA of 7.00 equals 1 player with an ERA of 1.25.

    Again, statistics never lie but liers always use statistics. The man should go into politics.

  • Robbo

    Would love to see an article on all the ridiculous Cubs injuries over the years…hot tub fall, broken toe jumping over dugout rail, finger caught in recliner…lots of classic “Only happens to the Cubs” moments.

    As far as the 3 you mention here Ace…the hurt back by sneezing was Sosa, I believe the hauling deer meat injury was Clint Barmes of the Rockies, and not sure about the drunk fall into trash can but if I had to bet, my money would be on Kyle Farnsworth.

  • TWC

    The whole deer meat thing was some dude on Colorado. Todd Helton, maybe?

    As far as odd baseball injuries go, one need look no further that Glenallen Hill’s spider dream.

  • Kyle N

    Sosa was indeed the victim of a malicious sneeze in 2004, although a similar thing has affected a couple of other players as well.
    Clint Barmes of the Colorado Rockies was the one who fell and broke his collarbone while carrying the aforementioned deer meat back in 2007.

    Coleman is still young and after this experience in the Majors, it is clear that he has major adjustments to make in order to become a consistent back-of the rotation starter (if that is ultimately what he’ll be). The most obvious observation about his pitching is that he lacks any sort of deception. If you aren’t blessed with powerful stuff, deception and control are vital to your survival, and with a WHIP over 2, a high BB rate and a low K rate, batters simply aren’t fooled and are often patiently waiting for a pitch they can hammer. Hopefully he treats this as a learning experience and develops a new plan of attack going forward.

    Let’s not close the book on him just yet.

  • Caleb

    Kyle, you’re a fountain of baseball trivia, as usual.

    For our next spot start, I say we “start” Russell, but actually put Samardhzhisiddzza in for the first inning and bring Russell in for innings 2-5. That way he can mentally think he’s relieving, which seems to work better for him.

    “I have a linebacker who has not washed his jockey strap for 2 years cuz he thinks flies are lucky.”

    Movie? Go.

  • Justin

    Drunk dumpster injury is Chad Gaudin! And I didn’t even look it up! Do I win anything? Woo!

  • Ron

    How many times has a pitcher done well for the first few innings then all of a sudden, big inning? Very frustrating.

  • Raymond Robert Koenig

    Another fine overall effort.

  • Jamesjones

    I for one want to throw up after todays game. Damn it.

  • Eric

    Bye January Jones…

    • Ace

      Very, very sad…

  • Ace

    The guesses were correct, by the way – Sosa, Barmes, and Gaudin. You all win beer, venison, and Claratin.