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The Chicago Cubs head to Philadelphia to take on the first place, and incredibly stacked, Phillies. At least they miss Cole Hamels…

By way of reminder, the Series Preview hooks you up with what you need to know about every series this year – streaks, broadcast information, pitchers, lineups, etc. That way you can look like a genius, hardcore fan in front of all your friends, with minimum effort. Oh, and there will be pictures of beautiful women, too.

We’re Going Streaking

The Cubs are one game short of a season-high winning streak. That is factually accurate, and all I need to say.

Believe it or not, the Phillies have lost two of their last three series against far lessor competition, dropping five of eight along the way. Maybe the Phillies and Cubs aren’t so different after all. Oh, well, except the whole 12-games-over-.500-best-team-in-baseball thing.

Game Times and Broadcasts

  • Thursday, June 9 at 6:05 CT on WGN, MLBN.
  • Friday, June 10 at 6:05 CT on CSN, MLBN.
  • Saturday, June 11 at 3:10 CT on FOX.
  • Sunday, June 12 at 12:35 CT on WGN.

Expected Starters and Lineups

These lineups are likely to be pretty close to what actually gets fielded.

Cubs

Starters: Randy Wells (1-1, 5.74), Carlos Zambrano (5-2, 3.98), Matt Garza (2-5, 4.07), Doug Davis (0-5, 6.38)

Lineup:

  1. Fukudome, RF
  2. Barney, 2B
  3. Castro, SS
  4. Pena, 1B
  5. Ramirez, 3B
  6. DeWitt, LF (among others)
  7. Campana, CF (among others)
  8. Soto, C
  9. Pitcher

Phillies

Starters: Kyle Kendrick (3-4, 3.78), Roy Halladay (8-3, 2.56), Cliff Lee (5-5, 3.62), Roy Oswalt (3-4, 3.05)

Lineup:

  1. Shane Victorino, CF
  2. Placido Polanco, 3B
  3. Chase Utley, 2B
  4. Ryan Howard, 1B
  5. Raul Ibanez, LF
  6. Carlos Ruiz, C
  7. Dominic Brown, RF
  8. Wilson Valdez, SS (Jimmy Rollins could be back in time for the series, though)
  9. Pitcher

Hot or Not and Whom to Watch

Blake DeWitt is on fire. He’s appeared in each of the Cubs’ last nine games, and he’s gone 14 for 35 with four doubles and a homer.

Randy Wells and Matt Garza are back in the rotation, but neither has really shown that they’re back to their formers selves (granted, Garza’s had just one start since returning from the DL). Each still inspires quite a bit more confidence than Doug Davis, who remains winless as a Cub. More importantly, he given the Cubs the chance to win in just one of his starts.

Carlos Pena tied Alfonso Soriano for the team lead in RBI with his home run yesterday. Their 29 RBI is good enough for 72nd place in baseball. Yo.

So, the Phillies have Roy Halladay. And Cliff Lee. And Roy Oswalt. They’re pretty much always good.

Though, Roy Oswalt was rocked in his last start against the Dodgers. He’ll look to get back on track against the Cubs. Which he will.

And Roy Halladay has never beaten the Cubs. But he will.

I know, I know. I’m being too sarcastic. At least the Cubs get today’s game against fill-in starter Kyle Kendrick, who allowed four runs in just five innings his last time out. If the Cubs don’t get the win today, splitting the series becomes a near impossibility.

Offensively, the Phillies are in a Cub-like funk of failing to get guys in once they get on base. They’ve scored three or fewer runs in seven of their last eight games.

Series She-View

The Series She-View is one beautiful woman representing the Cubs taking on another (usually) beautiful woman representing the opponent. The Cubs’ representative will change as the team’s needs change – in other words, if the Cubs are winning, the rep will stay the same. But if the Cubs’ performance calls for a change, someone new will step in. The opponent’s representative will change from series to series, at my whim. But at least she’ll probably be wearing the opponent’s colors or something like that.

The Cubs are currently represented by Emma Watson. I know what you’re thinking, but it’s not creepy – she’s 21 now. Just because you picture her as a kid wielding a wand doesn’t mean she’s not a full-on attractive woman now. Also, the final Harry Potter flick is coming out sometime soon. So she got the job.

And she’s keeping the job. Yes, I know the Cubs lost their last series against the Reds. But, when you’re on a six-game losing streak entering the series, and you finally break it, I think that’s mission accomplished. Also… she’s hot. Emma Watson remains.

As for the Phillies, we’ll go with Malin Akerman. No real reason here except that the third season of ‘Children’s Hospital’ recently premiered on Adult Swim, and, while watching it, I thought to myself, “wow, Malin Akerman is really hot.” So that’s that.

emma watson is a swell model

Versus

malin akerman topless

  • Jody

    Malin Ackerman infintely hotter than Emma Watson = Phillies Win.

    • Ace

      Well, how much better are the Phillies than the Cubs…?

    • miggy80

      Emma Watson has the type of beauty that reminds you of waking up early in the spring when you leave your windows open and awake when the birds start to sing. She has the type of beauty that reminds you of sitting in the bleachers and drinking a beer on a hot summer day. Malin is hot like a Ferrari peeling out and my cubbie blue cavalier doesn’t go that fast. She is hot like a pitching staff full of cy young award winners and well……….

      • Ace

        Yes, this.

  • Jeff

    Highest era among Phillies starters is 3.78, lowest era among Cubs starters is 3.98. This is the definition of a mismatch on paper, hopefully the Cubs can start a little run with a win or two in Philly.

  • Spencer

    It never crossed my mind that every time the Cubs win one game, they are just one more win away from matching their season high win streak until I read this. I am now sad.

    • Ace

      You’re welcome.

  • Dan0mite

    The nice thing about Malin Akerman is that she gets naked in every movie she does.

    • Ace

      Including the upcoming ‘Inferno,’ in which she plays a porn star.

      Er, uh, so I’ve heard.

    • http://twitter.com/thomaswconroy TWC

      I’ve gotta get out and see more movies.

  • Laura

    I hate to say it, but every girl you pick to represent the opposing team has always been better looking then the one you choose for the Cubs, and look at our record. Chicks are (sadly) always more critical of each other; maybe you should trying running your choices by a girl next time?

    • http://calebshreves.blogspot.com Caleb

      What about the burrito? Huh Laura?

      That was a very handsome burrito Ace put up.

      On a related note, I’m hungry.

      • Laura

        Yeah, didn’t we lose the series with the burrito mascot?

        • Ace

          To be fair, the Cubs have lost 70% of their series…

    • Ace

      Ok. I’m game. Next pick is yours.

      • Michigan Goat

        How bout a pile of steaming shit

        • Dave

          Or, in keeping with the She-View theme, how about a fat chick.

      • Laura

        Looking forward to the finalists!

        • Ace

          I’m saying you can choose the next Cubs’ rep. No finalists – totally up to you.

          • Laura

            I just tweeted you my picture choice. We’ll see if it works…

  • Jeff

    It’s time for Oprah on the series she-view.

  • Dan0mite

    After watching E3 on G4 all week I vote for Morgan Webb. She is hot and has some pretty good pics put there.

  • Laura

    (…and thank you for giving it a try!)

  • Ron

    Cubs on longest win streak of year…Hendry gets contract extension!

  • http://Bleachernation Ramy16

    Cubs win 4-3 and take game 1…also Tyler Colvin broke out in a big way..only to get rob of a home run

    • Jeff

      He was definitely robbed on the homerun call in the 9th, but he got vindication in scoring the winning run later. He was on base 3 times and didn’t strike out, must have found himself a “slumpbuster” before the game.

  • http://Bleachernation Ramy16

    Win streak..2 games.. Reminds of major league II..lol

  • pfk

    Cubs win 2 in a row! Playoff tickets go on sale tomorrow.

    • Ace

      Ha. Nicely done.

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