Cripple fight! Cripple fight!
That’s insensitive. Most “cripples” are far more successful and capable than the 2011 Cubs and Astros.
By way of reminder, the Series Preview hooks you up with what you need to know about every series this year – streaks, broadcast information, pitchers, lineups, etc. That way you can look like a genius, hardcore fan in front of all your friends, with minimum effort. Oh, and there will be pictures of beautiful women, too.
We’re Going Streaking
The Cubs lost yet another series (to the Phillies), and stand a season-low 21 games under .500. That makes nine straight series losses for the Cubs. They’ve won just one series in the last two months. How on Earth is that defensible?
Amazingly, the Astros are 5.5 games worse than the Cubs, 32 games under .500. So, even a sweep won’t get the Astros over the Cubs in the standings, but, then again, they’d probably just as soon stay down in the cellar for draft pick purposes. Yes. We’ve reached that point in the season.
Game Times and Broadcasts
- Friday, July 22 at 1:20 CT on CSN.
- Saturday, July 23 at 12:05 CT on CSN.
- Sunday, July 24 at 1:20 CT on WGN.
Expected Starters and Lineups
These lineups are likely to be pretty close to what actually gets fielded.
Starters: Carlos Zambrano (6-5, 4.78), Randy Wells (1-3, 6.71), Matt Garza (4-7, 3.80)
- Fukudome, RF
- Castro, SS
- Ramirez, 3B
- Pena, 1B
- Byrd, CF
- Soriano, LF
- Soto, C
- Barney, 2B
Starters: Bud Norris (5-6, 3.59), Wandy Rodriguez (6-6, 3.67), Jordan Lyles (0-5, 4.55)
- Michael Bourn, CF
- Angel Sanchez, 2B
- Hunter Pence, RF
- Carlos Lee, LF
- Brett Wallace, 1B
- Chris Johnson, 3B
- Clint Barmes, SS
- Humberto Quintero, C
Hot or Not and Whom to Watch
Mike Quade has suggested that Randy Wells is pitching for his spot in the rotation. Yes, he’s been terrible, but whom exactly would you rather see getting starts? Rodrigo Lopez? Ramon Ortiz? Maybe Casey Coleman. Either way, how much can you really tell from a start against the Astros?
Kosuke Fukudome clearly doesn’t want to help the Cubs find a taker for him. In July, he’s hitting just .220/.278/.280. Shh. Don’t tell Other Teams.
Ditto Alfonso Soriano. He’s an even more abysmal .164/.193/.200 in July.
Hunter Pence is the subject of a number of trade rumors these days, but teams might consider being careful: he’s in the middle of either a breakout or aberrant season. He’s besting his career BA and OPS by 25 and 24 points, respectively.
After an abysmal April and May, Carlos Lee has a .304/.372/.487 line. If an AL team is looking for a salary dump DH, why wouldn’t they consider Lee over someone like Soriano? Oops – am I not supposed to say that?
Since his very good debut against the Cubs (they’ll do that for you), Jordan Lyles is 0-5 with a 4.84 ERA. But, he’s 20 years old.
The Series She-View is one beautiful woman representing the Cubs taking on another (usually) beautiful woman representing the opponent. The Cubs’ representative will change as the team’s needs change – in other words, if the Cubs are winning, the rep will stay the same. But if the Cubs’ performance calls for a change, someone new will step in. The opponent’s representative will change from series to series, at my whim. But at least she’ll probably be wearing the opponent’s colors or have some connection to the team or something like that.
Well, Alex Morgan was a fine representative for the Cubs against the Phillies, but, like her World Cup team, the Cubs failed to win a series. Couple that with a general dearth of Alex Morgan pictures, and it’s time to move on to a new representative.
From time to time, people mention Victoria’s Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley as a possible rep for the Cubs. Since she’s in that ‘Transformers’ flick, and I don’t have anyone better in mind, she gets the job. Treat us well, Rosie (I’m not typing the rest of your name again).
As for the Astros, how about an old Texas standby? Jessica Simpson. She’s kind-of-sort-of becoming relevant again.
Who you got? I say the Cubs finally win one.