Didn’t the Cubs, like, just play the Reds? Yes. Yes, they did.

By way of reminder, the Series Preview hooks you up with what you need to know about every series this year – streaks, broadcast information, pitchers, lineups, etc. That way you can look like a genius, hardcore fan in front of all your friends, with minimum effort. Oh, and there will be pictures of beautiful women, too.

We’re Going Streaking

The Cubs took two of three from the Mets, continuing their (relative) winning ways post July-31. If Jim Hendry hadn’t already been let go, I’d be getting nervous right about now.

The Reds have slipped to four games under .5oo, having gone 4-6 in September thus far. They’re still seven games ahead of the Cubs, so at least they’ve got that going for them.

Game Times and Broadcasts

  • Monday, September 12 at 6:10 CT on CSN.
  • Tuesday, September 13 at 6:10 CT on CSN+.
  • Wednesday, September 14 at 6:10 CT on WCIU.
  • Thursday, September 15 at 6:10 CT on CSN.

Expected Starters and Lineups

These lineups are likely to be pretty close to what actually gets fielded.


Starters: Rodrigo Lopez (4-6, 4.82), Ryan Dempster (10-11, 4.74), Casey Coleman (2-7, 6.65), Randy Wells (7-4, 4.73)


  1. Castro, SS
  2. Barney, 2B
  3. Ramirez, 3B
  4. Pena, 1B (LaHair is seeing starts all over, though)
  5. Byrd, CF
  6. Soriano, LF
  7. Soto, C
  8. Colvin, RF
  9. Pitcher


Starters: Dontrelle Willis (0-5, 4.21), Mike Leake (11-9, 4.00), Johnny Cueto (9-5, 2.36), Homer Bailey (8-7, 4.34)


  1. Brandon Phillips, 2B
  2. Edgar Renteria, SS
  3. Joey Votto, 1B
  4. Jay Bruce, RF
  5. Yonder Alonso, LF
  6. Drew Stubbs, CF
  7. Ramon Hernandez, C
  8. Juan Francisco, 3B
  9. Pitcher

Hot or Not and Whom to Watch

Bryan LaHair thinks the world slept with his wife, and he’s showing us how he feels with his bat. In 23 plate appearances, he’s hitting .500 with a .565 OBP and a .950 SLG. For a week, he’s been Barry Bonds … if Barry Bonds’ steroids were using steroids after eating Babe Ruth.

Starlin Castro (barely) extended his hitting streak to 12, and inched closer to his frequently-stated goal of 200 hits. He’s at 187 right now.

Casey Coleman will try to bounce back from a Rodrigo Lopez-esque start last time (good for a few innings, then falls apart), and Randy Wells will try to keep rolling.

Mike Leake dominated the Cubs last week until Mr. LaHair took him deep in the 9th. Hey, look – I said that without making even a single crime reference!

Jay Bruce is up to 30 homers on the season now, and is still only 24 years old. Must be nice to have a corner outfielder like that.

Former Cubs farmhand Dontrelle Willis hasn’t won a game in a year and a half (yup, still), but… I think you know how this story plays out (yup, still).

Series She-View

The Series She-View is one beautiful woman representing the Cubs taking on another (usually) beautiful woman representing the opponent. The Cubs’ representative will change as the team’s needs change – in other words, if the Cubs are winning, the rep will stay the same. But if the Cubs’ performance calls for a change, someone new will step in. The opponent’s representative will change from series to series, at my whim. But at least she’ll probably be wearing the opponent’s colors or have some connection to the team or something like that.

We’re running out of series on the year, so it’s time to break out some favorites (and/or reps that I find humorous… as you’ll see), who may have no connection to either of the teams in the series.

Kate Upton stays in charge of the Cubs, not only because the team won a series under her watch, but also because she is good at being good to look at.

For the Reds, we’ll stay with the not-an-actual-human-woman theme that has developed over the past couple weeks. The Reds get an underrated candy: Red Hots.


  • http://www.michigangoat.blogspot.com MichiganGoat

    Michigan UP born girls are good luck.

    • Bails17

      Amen goat!  I wouldn’t mind spending a day game with her sunning herself in the bleachers!  What game?  Cubs who??  LOL


      • Toosh

        Looks like she doesn’t sun herself much.

        • Bails17

          Would you prefer an a night game with Jello wrestling to follow Toosh?

        • Toosh

          I’ll take a woman with a natural tan. And natural boobs. And day baseball.

          • hardtop

            boob debate: i have no way of knowing, but i have seen my share of fake boobs.  if those are fake, they sure are good fakes… i.e. relatively “natural” looking.

            if they are real, she’s an alien goddess! as boobs that large and perfect occurring in nature is about as likely as Soriano hitting .305.

            i like to think she is an alien goddess… that way i wont obsess over her: because there is no chance an alien goddess would go for a mere human like me.

            • Internet Random

              If I can touch them, they’re real.”

              —Joe Rogan

              • Bails17

                “And by the way: they’re real, and they’re spectacular!”   –  Teri Hatcher on Seinfeld 

            • T Wags

              Those are absolutely real and my goodness are they spectacular… Alien Goddess fo sho!

              • philoe beddoe

                fake…I have “breast vision” like LD

                • Bails17

                  Real or Fake…really doesn’t matter!  But to me…they are REAL!

    • hardtop

      I know exactly 5 women born in the UP. (or as they say : up der en da yoo-pee der)

      4 are lesbians, 3 are engineers, and 2 can kick my ass at ice hockey (the other 2 are at the same skill level but cant hit as hard, completely a function on mass).

      The lone hetero: as paste-y as Kate.

      • Caleb


  • Kyle N

    After watching the game, the most promising thing I took away from LaHair was his calm, patient approach at the plate. He took 40 pitches over the course of his six plate appearances (which included those two walks) and was drawing praise from the Sunday Night Baseball crew for working the count, choosing the best pitch to hit and driving it with his “short, compact, and powerful swing,” all without showing any anxiety.

    Orel Hershiser was mentioning how the early scouting report on LaHair was to jam him inside with hard fastballs and sliders, but after he stayed away or fouled off a large number of those pitches, he admitted later in the game, “Ummm. . . Maybe they should try throwing him low and away. . . “. Already busting up the scouting report. Gotta like that.

    Out of all of the Cubs players, he definitely looked the most polished at the plate.

    Again, it has only been 23 PA (we definitely can’t jump to any conclusions), but a seven-game hitting streak (two of which came on clutch extra-base pinch-hits) with those numbers in his first week back in the Majors is pretty darn good.

    The first-base decision (or possibly even an outfield decision, who knows) just got that much more interesting for the prospective GM, especially with Pena’s numbers continuing to creep higher after a good game yesterday.

    • Ron

      I heard that also and was very impressed with LaHair, 40 pitches, he really could be compared to Youkolis. Also to your point about Pena, I wonder if he is feeling some pressure, an also left handed “kid” coming up and showing you up every day can’t be a good thing for an impending free agent.  They see almost the same pitches. If there was some pressure on him for two months when it mattered maybe we would be at .500.

  • Kyle N

    Tony Campana on the other hand. . . didn’t do much to inspire my confidence.

    I like the guy. He hustles his ass off, but I often thought to myself. “You know, if he was just a bit better hitter/more patient/had more power, then he wouldn’t have to run to first on every weak dribbler like he was running the 100m finals.” I just picture his face contorted, eyes bulging, every muscle in his body clenched, his arms and legs churning with his batting helmet flying off every time. Again, the hustle is necessarily and he is doing what he has to do to try to get on (which is commendable), but at this point with his weak bat he is a clearly only a defensive substitute/pinch runner/backup type guy.

    He was also the anti-LaHair, taking only a whopping eight pitches in his four plate appearances. Yeah. . . Not good.

    • http://www.michigangoat.blogspot.com MichiganGoat

      But he is not a good defender- he takes poor routes, has an extremely weak arm, and makes foolishness drives. At best he is only a pinch-runner on a good team and speed is the first thing that will go. He is one tweaked hammy away from oblivion.

  • Spencer

    16 games to get 13 hits! certainly possible

  • Matt

    What does the wifey say as she walks in the room and you are browsing the internet for pictures of hot chicks? I think I am going to create a website so I have an excuse to do the same. Keep the good pictures coming!

    • http://www.bleachernation.com Brett

      Fortunately I’ve trained her well. Frequently she walks up from behind me, sees the lovely women, and jokes, “hard at work, I see, eh?”

      Hard at work, indeed, I tell her.

      • Fishin Phil

        Well played sir!

      • Dan0mite

        I’d guess she wouldn’t respond so kindly if she saw you were claiming to have trained her?

        • http://www.bleachernation.com Brett

          … if you tell her, I’ll find you.

  • Matt

    Very well played.

    In summation, you read articles about the Cubs and then provide your own views and opinions about those articles as well as your own thoughts on the team and players in general. You also scan the internet for soft core porn pictures of attractive females. People then read your posts and view your pictures, and begin conversations with you about said comments and pictures. All done from the comfort of your home.

    Make sure you “live the good life” a little for the rest of us!

    • TWC

      I like this site because the articles are short and informative.

    • http://www.bleachernation.com Brett

      And it pays MILLIONS! You’re all suckers!

  • bacboris

    Brett, the line: “Bryan LaHair thinks the world slept with his wife, and he’s showing us how he feels with his bat.” Actually made me involuntary laugh out loud in a work meeting. I hope you’re proud of yourself.

    • http://www.bleachernation.com Brett

      I’m not sure I’ve felt more proud of this little endeavor than I do right now. You’re welcome.

  • don

    “Bryan LaHair thinks the world slept with his wife, and he’s showing us how he feels with his bat.”

  • SirCub

    This comment strain is littered with remarks about real vs. fake vs. alien boobs, “the world” sleeping with one woman, and training your wife to think that your looking at internet pics of hot chicks is work… Do you think that we Cubs fans might be a bit sexually frustrated in some way?

  • die hard

    Brett….I hope you now realize that with recent above comments, Victoria Secret and baseball does not mix well…your hot dog comparison went well…food goes with baseball…sex does not…..comparing the foods particular to each city may be a better route….by the way, to show you I am an open minded male, my jobs before becoming a lawyer (now retired) was Andy Frain usher in summer of 1961 at both Wrigley and Comiskey…and, 4 yrs later, one of my summer jobs was as an escort for a female model at a fashion show…those jobs dont overlap or mix well…I am likewise offended when WGN TV does boob shots masqueraded as fan shots…If I wanted sex photos or such talk, there are plenty of other sites to visit…love your site and will not leave again…but, just saying etc…

    • http://www.bleachernation.com Brett

      I’ll confess that I’m not crazy about some of the comments (though I know they’re all made totally in jest). I still like the feature, though – which I know you don’t agree. Appreciate the input, but for now, I’ll still have to disagree. I’ve got my eye on it, though. Not looking to alienate anyone.

      • Caleb

        I’m not only a fan of the series she-view, I’m also a huge supporter of the “fan” cam on TV. Can’t believe the fun-hating do-gooders of world haven’t rose up in their standard indignation to quash that feature.

    • donnie

      die hard is back……..

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