Like a king ready to preside over his new kingdom, Theo Epstein held court today at his introductory press conference with great aplomb. And this shot, courtesy of, is begging to be captioned on this happy, happy day. You think Tom Ricketts shares our excitement?

So, captions. Do share if you’re so inclined.

  • Brett

    My offering:

    “My preciousssss.”

    • http://TheoWaiting Cheryl

      “we’re engaged!!!”

  • Internet Random

    “No.  This is the proper way to check for a hernia.”

  • Bill

    He’s so pretty. I hope my wife doesn’t mind.

  • jbswads

    Look at what I have created!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    Look at him, isn’t he beautiful?

  • Mike Foster


  • Fishin Phil

    “Do you think he would go to the prom with me?”

  • Brett

    Keep ’em coming. I’m already cracking up. I’ll have to go ahead and create the best ones and post them later.

  • TWC

    “BOLD changes, bitches!”

    :::gets up, grabs crotch, kicks chair, walks away:::

  • charles

    No words, just birds flying around his head and little cartoon hearts popping out of his eyes.

  • mac

    “You had me at Cubs manual…”

  • Poopypants Mcgee

    “im wearing ladies underwear, but they’ll never know!”

    • Jason


  • Rancelot

    Courtesy the Bugs Bunny short entitled “The Abdominable Snow Rabbit”

    “Just what I always wanted. My own little bunny rabbit. I will name him George, and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him…”

    • Ol’CharlieBrown


  • Jason

    My funny Valentine

  • hansman1982
    1. Theo: Notice how when I move my hand like so, he smiles.
    2. Tom: He said the “L” word back to me…Christmas came early!
    3. Tom: Finally someone decent to look at in the office, and I can’t stop staring.
    4. Next two together
    5. Theo: You have to cup the balls as such
    6. Tom: Um, hum – aint that the truth, that and it never hurts that he has soft hands
    7. Theo: This is how my hand was when I was paying for Starbucks
    8. Theo: This is how I hold cookies when they are too hot (ok, ok, I will stop)
  • Dan

    Sabermetrics, is only a fraction of what I like about this man.

    • Brett

      Now that’s downright clever right there.

  • Hawkeye

    Courtesy of the Brain from “Pinky and the Brain”

    Theo: “Now throw the switch and let us begin the battle for the planet !”

  • MichiganGoat

    Ricketts: Last night was MAGIC

    Theo: Brass baby, thery’re brass and about this big (give wink toward Muskat)

  • jesse

    I’ve got you for five years!….going on forever :)

  • Sam

    Look, there’s two women fucking a polar bear!

    • Internet Random

      Very cool avatar.

  • BD

    Theo: “As my first order of business, I will find out how to get Tom to stop staring at me like that.”

  • Brett

    We got some funny-ass people ’round here.

    • hansman1982

      Hell I am still in shock that we got Theo – I bet Tom is too:


      Someone pinch me. No, wait, I would rather live in fantasy la-la land if it means we got Theo.

  • Internet Random

    “Now Tom, on the other hand, likes his shocker a little more like this.”

    • Jason

      This one brought tears to my eyes

  • Kansas Cubs Fan

    Awwwhhh we’ve both got but chins…Soo cute! <3

  • ari gold

    “Hey everyone, come see how good Theo looks”

  • Swaz46

    “You complete me…er…I mean…my organization!”

  • Anthony Caminitti

    and boom goes my dynamite

  • ISU Birds

    “I want to kiss your lips”

    • hardtop

      or the closely related:
      “he got a real purdy mouth, aint he?”

  • Anthony Caminitti

    dammit… if only prom wasn’t last weekend…

  • Bails17

    A scene from The Princess Bride says it the best:

    “Wuv…twue wuv…wuv is what bwings us togeffer…today!”

  • LEO

    Id rather have one ricketts in my hand than 2 in my wife’s bush