I’ll be in the bleachers for today’s series finale against the Brewers (call me a lame douche, but I want to freaking sing “Go, Cubs, Go” at the end of the game – make it happen, Cubs), so, if you see me, feel free to shout greetings or cries of execration. A reminder on what I look like, if you need one.

While in the bleachers today, I’m going to be thinking about a variety of things – how Matt Garza’s command looks, how the Cubs perform with runners on base, how many pitches the Cubs make Zack Greinke throw, etc. But I’ll also be thinking about one thing, which captures the imagination of everyone who takes in a game from the bleachers at Wrigley: maybe I’ll catch a home run.

So, I got to think about what I’m going to be thinking about, and I realized that not all home run balls are created equally. While I’ll take any that I can get, I have a preference for the kinds of home run balls I’d like to catch. They are as follows:

5. Game-winning home run by some Brewers player. There’s just no joy there, unless you snake the ball away from a decked-out Brewers fan, preferably not a child (but that would not deter me).

4. Meaningless Cubs home run. It’s not quite as joyful to catch a homer by Blake DeWitt when the Cubs are down 10, but it’s still awesome, and I’d get to keep the ball. Maybe Blake would sign it for me! On second thought, I think I’ll just keep the ball clean.

3. Meaningful, but not game-winning, Cubs home run. Perhaps a sixth inning, tie-breaking two-run shot from Alfonso Soriano? Something like that. I could get into that.

2. Meaningless Brewers home run in a game the Cubs are leading by 15. I dream of throwing one back. I’m one of those people. I could make the infield. And, with proper footing and a favorable roll, I could make the plate. I know it. Just give me the chance.

1. Game-winning, walk-off grand slam by Starlin Castro off of John Axford. I would sleep with that ball under my pillow for a month.

  • Brian

    Here’s hoping for #1.

  • Brandon

    Wish I was there with you Brett. I feel the same way about throwing one back….just give me that chance!! haha

    You’re odds are much better at a minor league game. Next time you’re feeling froggy, jump on a plane to Knoxville, and we’ll scout the AA Smokies from Section 106, Row 1. Same offer goes to Luke when he wants to scout in person. Just let me know.

    Smokies are 0-2 so far at home, but hopefully will be back to their winning ways tonight.

    Have fun today.


  • hogie

    I was out in the bleachers a couple of years ago when Soriano hit a walk off grandslam in the 13th inning (might have been the 11th) that landed on the batters eye about ten feet away from me. It was freaking awesome! Had my wife, who was 6 months pregnant at the time been with me, I might have jumped the fence and gone for it! Kinda bummed I don’t get to go to Wrigley, but Target field to watch them win a cripple fight with the Twins will have to do! Have fun, GO CUBS!!

    • Caleb

      Ha! Cripple fight… Good stuff! You’re talking about the June series right? I’ll be there too!

      • JustSwain

        ditto all three games

  • DocPWimsey

    I have had 3 HR balls hit at me ever: and all in the same game. Game #2 in 1987. Ryno hit a liner that landed 3 rows in front of us and skipped right past us. We just missed catching Andre Dawson’s first Cub HR: the wind was blowing out and I remember adjusting to leaning forward to leaning back. (You don’t get much manuverability in the bleachers!) It just sort of carried past my outstretched arms.

    The most memorable one was by Terry Pendleton. It was a line shot that was on us in a flash. A friend standing next to me snagged it his cap: only to have the cap ripped out of his hands by the force and actually torn once he retrieved it! (It was the old button “one-size fits all” cap: all of the buttons were ripped out.)

    Dave Martinez made an amazing catch in right center that day, too. I think that Mike Royko was the guest announcer: we video taped the game on the off-chance that we’d be seen (and also to hear Royko’s commentary) and, needless to say, we watched it a lot afterwards! (I seem to recall that Danny Cox outdueled Steve Trout in a 4-2 match: really, except for the HR, there was not much offense.)

    • Caleb

      Awesome story doc! Wish I’d have been there (though my height at 4 yrs old might have hindered my catching ability).

  • EB

    First time poster here Brett. Just wanted to say that you do great work and that I love coming to your site. Hope the Cubs can back in the W column this afternoon. Enjoy the game.

    Go Cubs Go!

  • hansman1982

    2. Meaningless Brewers home run in a game the Cubs are leading by 15. I dream of throwing one back. I’m one of those people. I could make the infield. And, with proper footing and a favorable roll, I could make the plate. I know it. Just give me the chance

    Pfft – you should be able to reach home on a line – I did once…the Cubs signed me, I won RoY but unfortunately, I landed awkwardly on my arm in the WS and had to use trickery to win the game. True Story!

  • RDF

    Have fun at the game today Brett. I hope you do catch a home run ball and get to sing “Go Cubs Go.”


    • http://www.bleachernation.com Brett

      Thanks, Robby. We have to take in a game this Summer.

  • ETS

    only a month?

  • Packman711

    Hopefully I can swing over!

    • http://www.bleachernation.com Brett

      Do it. Just hangin’ at a table right now.

  • Puma0821

    I’ve always wanted to catch an opposing player homerun (preferably in LF and pick the guy off as he rounds 2B and heads to 3B! Dunno if my arm is good enough now, but 5-10 yrs ago I could have definitely gotten it there.

  • Sweetjamesjones

    Wear sunscreen honey.

    • http://www.bleachernation.com Brett

      Uh oh…

  • Sweetjamesjones

    Ha. Yeah. I got burned pretty good last Thursday. You better be sitting in left field. Though it will not be entertaining as sitting in right field and listening to Nationals fans demolish Jayson Werth. “I hate you. I hate you Jayson Werth. I bet you cry at Christmas.”