lance-berkman-fail… I’ll leave that to you.

The Rangers are visiting Wrigley Field this week, and designated Fat Elvis Lance Berkman had some not-so-nice things to say about the park where he’ll be playing and the city he’ll be visiting.

“If they’re looking for a guy to push the button when they blow [Wrigley Field] up, I’ll do it,” Berkman told Jeff Wilson of the Star-Telegram. “Chicago’s one of the worst places in baseball … really for anything.”

It’s unfortunate that Berkman could be resigned to the bench for much of the series, which starts tonight. He was already not terribly well-liked by Cubs fans, and these comments aren’t likely to win him any new followers around town. The boos when he’s introduced – if he is at some point – should be glorious.

(And, yeah, that’s Berkman from back in his Astro days, but I spent a fair bit of time on that photoshop, so I’m going to keep using it.)

UPDATE: Other versions of his remarks indicate that he was solely speaking of Wrigley Field when he said it was one of the worst places in baseball, not Chicago as a whole. Whateves.

  • jayrig5

    Ah, Fat Elvis.

    He’s hit horribly at Wrigley for his career; (.215/.355/.377 line, easily the worst among parks where he has any kind of sample size) I’m sure MLB hitters tend to associate their success with the park. I doubt Adam Dunn thinks the facilities are any nicer, but he probably isn’t in any hurry to tear the place down.

    • jayrig5

      All that said, yes, by all means, boo the crap out of him, and I hope he falls down leaving the batters box after striking out for the 4th time.

  • beerhelps

    I knew there was a good reason I never liked that POS.

    • Koyie Hill Sucks

      I was about to write the same thing… Never liked him

  • fromthemitten

    considering how fucking fat he is I’m not surprised he isn’t a big fan of the deep dish

  • CubsFanBob

    I remember seeing Berkman run off Wrigley field like a little chicken shit once during a lighting strike nearby. The game had been delayed and the weather was crazy but the game got in. He was playing his position when a bright lighting bolt thundered nearby. He ran straight to the dug out booking it while the rest of the Astros stood their ground on the field.

    • mak

      Remember that. Actually tornado ended the game, but they got in 5 innings in between insane storm delays. I remember him tossing off his little metal necklace that players thought could help them somehow. Loser.

      • CubsFanBob

        Ya I was at the game. The sky turned purple and wind was up to 50+ miles per hour. I remember seeing trees near Wrigley bending at 90 degrees. This storm blew in and out within 5-10 minutes. It was so fast and crazy they forced all the fans down stairs or up on the ramps. I stayed when most left and was able to sit right behind home plate.

    • PKJ
    • cubzfan23

      I gotta admit… I would of been right behind him.

  • Jeff T

    I actually hope they don’t do anything when/if he gets introduced or gets into the game. He’s a non issue to me. Nobody cares what he thinks, he’s at the end of his career and he’s a DH. He has to say stuff like this just to get people to pay attention to him.

  • roz

    Am I the only one not offended by this? He said he didn’t like Wrigley because there wasn’t a batting cage near the dugout and it was always cold early in the season. Both things that are not untrue.

    • @cubsfantroy

      I wasn’t. After reading the article a couple of times, hell, he has his right to an opinion. At least they are going to be upgrading everything. And really, I’ve never been in the clubhouses, but a lot of players say they are garbage as well.

  • Cubbie Blues


    • SirCub

      Hahaha. What an athlete!

  • Edwin

    I’m pretty sure any visiting player hates wrigley field. Outdated facilities, cramped spaces, and it’s not like Wrigley has a reputation for having the best kept field. I heard it’s pretty bad near 3B.

    It’s typical opposing player/anti wrigley comments. It’s a fun way to inject some drama into a series. I like it.

    • Wilbur

      Agreed …

      • terencemann

        The flow chart for hating Wrigley is something like:

        Does he play for an opposing team? (Yes)-> Is he breathing? (Yes) -> He probably doesn’t like playing at Wrigley

  • P hertz

    Lance, you can’t play a position anymore. Shut and sit down..this is the NATIONAL LEAGUE.

  • forlines

    his fat ass can suck a d**k… like someone else said, he’s a fat, washed up dh at the end of his career. gotta do something to get attention when you certainly aren’t getting any on the field.

  • Edwin

    Plus, I mean, what kind of a name is Lance anyways? I mean, who names their kid after a spear or pole weapon to be used by a mounted warrior?

  • RY34

    Hey maybe the Cubs will take these comments, actually be pissed about them and get at least one win in the series!

  • mudge

    Is he truly fat?

  • P hertz

    Berkman only played his rookie year (all 34 games of it) in the Astrodome in 1999. They moved to Enron Field the next year. So, understandably he has no idea how big a shit-hole the astrodome was.

  • mudge

    I’d like to suggest in advance this time, that mr russell pitch the final two and a third innings, unless the goal is to lose. from chinese buffet in sunny kentuck.

  • Jan Forty-two

    This must convince everyone that the DH should not be introduced to the NL. Otherwise, even more grumpy, old, overweight and overpaid guys would play the game.

  • Yanira Garza

    If he was bleeding on the street…I’d cross to the other side. I’m not getting my shoes dirty. Chump.

  • arealpoy

    Lance Berkman should spend less time running his mouth and more time…just running.

  • preacherman86

    My all time favorite cub fan moment came at age 17 when my dad, brother and myself got to sit in the rf bleachers for a cubs astros game. There was a fan who began the game with “ya want another twinkie berkman?” screamed at the top of his lungs which changed to “quit killin the grass, fatass” in about the 5th, and both continued every bottom half when berkman would come out. Berkman was had i might add, to the point of kicking grass in aggravation at the comments and turning around at one point and hollering back at the fan….well done drunk fanatic, you made my experience, and certainly enhanced Berkmans hate!!

    • someday…2015?

      Ah, you gotta love the bleachers bums! I remember sitting in the LF bleachers and Dave Roberts towards the end of his career was playing left. Oh man, that must of been a loooong day for Davey. I give him credit though. The guy didn’t turn around or say a word, just played ball.

  • bloctoad

    Lance who? I forgot when his career was actually relevant.

  • COW142

    I hear he is really upset because the away team buffet is much too healthy. He wants more biscuits and gravy!

  • EvenBetterNewsV2.0

    Screw him.

  • Tsb

    That’s a reason they missed, the people that wanted a move to Rosemont; it would make Bergman the Golem so happy! Not as good as a park in Skokie, but close enough!

  • Matt Murton

    Maybe a little too soon for comments about blowing things up in an athletic context, given the Boston Marathon situation… huh, Lance?

    • TWC

      Wow. That’s a stretch. Do let us know when it’s okay to speak freely, “Matt Murton”.

      • Edwin

        I bet it’s not even the real Matt Murton.

        • ProfessorCub

          ehh…think about it…that might be the “real” Matt Murton

          • TWC

            Ha. The real Matt Murton is still blowing up the Nippon Pro league with the Hanshin Tigers.

            • ProfessorCub

              Hey? Who says you can’t blow up the NPL and post on BN at the same time?

              • TWC

                Yeah, but it’s already >tomorrow< in Japan. That comment was from this afternoon. You seriously think Matt Murton invented time travel, too?

                • Edwin

                  Maybe he’s blogging from that Island on Lost.

                • ProfessorCub

                  Far be it from me to underestimate The Redheaded Manchild

                  • TWC

                    Pfft… a couple of Matt Murton Kool Aid drinkers you two are.

  • curt

    what a douschenozzle , Jenny Craig left you s message you really should call her back , real soon.

  • Larry Bittner

    what a fucking loser

  • Timmy

    Lance Roidsman

  • DarthHater

    Heh. Half the people posting on this site have spent the last few weeks screaming about how awful Wrigley is and how the Cubs should move to a modern facility. I’m sure none of those people are among the ones now criticizing Berkman, because I have complete confidence in the fairness and rational consistency of everyone who posts here. 😛

    • Kyle

      They can’t do that to our pledges. Only we can do that to our pledges.

      • Smackafilieyo

        I second kyle’s remark

  • Chris

    He looks like he’s wearing mascara all the time. Is it a tattoo?

    • Augie Ojeda

      Not as much as Jim Edmonds.

  • CM

    If it wasn’t for the spring training he spent a couple years ago rockin the Sgt. Slaughter look, he’d have no redeeming qualities.