Myles: Cubs Christmas Wish List

cubs christmas ornamentI love the holidays. It always makes me feel like a kid again. Sure, it’s pretty cliche. It’s also very true. There’s something about hearing Christmas music everywhere, seeing Santa, and watching those Coca-Cola Polar Bears that gets to me (I’m not joking). I may be alone, as I know that for some, it’s annoying and stressful. To each their own, I suppose.  But for me, it’s just the best.

My favorite part about Christmas, however, is wishing for stuff. It’s not really about what you get. It’s about the possibilities. When I was a kid, it was Star Wars Legos and a life-size cardboard cutout of Michael Jordan taking a free throw shot (still have it). When I 16, it was a car (I accidentally blew up the engine). But now as an adult, I only wish for two things: (1) to see the smiles of my family when I give them their gifts and (2) stuff from my favorite sports teams.

I’ll spare you the details of my gifts to others … even though they’re freaking awesome this year.  I will, however, share my self-proclaimed “Cubs Wish List” for 2014.  I narrowed down my list to 5 things. This isn’t the normal, “I WANT A CHAMPIONSHIP,” wish list.  Everyone of course wants that every year.  This is different.

1. I wish to like Rick Renteria

I’ve heard a lot about our new skipper. Most is great baseball stuff that I’m looking forward to seeing. But there’s one other aspect that I wish for: I just want to like the guy. I want him to treat the fans and the media well.  I want him to be honest and say as much as he can to us without it harming game plans, player moral, etc.  From what I’ve heard so far, we’re off to a good start.  I hope that continues and he stays around for years to come. If we’re lucky, we as fans will be able to view him as that awesome uncle that always brings you Star Wars Legos for Christmas. Fingers crossed.

2. I wish for Ron Coomer to not suck

I’ll be the first to say that I really enjoyed hearing Keith Moreland on the radio. It wasn’t an easy task to fill Santo’s shoes. He was the man. But Moreland did a great job and I’m sad to see/hear him go. As Ron Coomer steps in, I’ll admit that he is not a guy I was all that familiar with. It rang a (tiny) bell, but it’s obviously not a household name. My point is that I just want him to not suck. What’s sucking entail? I don’t know. But I’ll tell you if it happens. I have all the faith in the world that he won’t, but still, I worry. I don’t know why. Perhaps it’s that we won’t know until we’re already “in it.” This isn’t a contract-to-hire situation.  He’ll be there for 162 games plus Spring Training. On the upside, if it does go south, it’s only a 2 year deal. Let’s hope for the best and that the suck stays away. Go get ‘em, Coomer!

3. I wish for a “breakout” player

I don’t know if I can really quantify this one. But let me explain my issue. The last jersey I bought was Ryan Theriot in 2007. Not a bad purchase. I was able to get three solid years out of it. But I’ve been hesitant to pull the trigger on another. I want the grinder that’s also going to be around for a couple of years. Maybe it’s Ryan Sweeney. Maybe it’s Schierholtz. Who knows. The problem is that because of where the team is right now, the possibility of a trade is very real. It always is, but even more so when you’re trying to rebuild. My wish is that there’s a guy who turns into a stud, and who the Cubs then keep around for a while. At least long enough for me to buy my jersey from a Chinese website

4. I wish for progress

This is self explanatory.  But please allow me to explain more. I’m not expecting the playoffs. But I am expecting an improvement from last year. We all are. I want to see that our most recent patience is going to pay off eventually. I want to see that we’re not losing close games as often. I want to see that our bullpen isn’t as shaky. I want to be able to root for something outside of the minors. That’s not too much to ask, right?

5. I wish for a sunny opening day

I go to opening day every year. Most years, as many of you know, it’s the worst type of weather: cold and rainy. This year while I’m consuming many beers and gallivanting with various baseball fans, I just want sun. That’s it. The Cubs don’t even have to win. Just give me like 55 degrees and not a cloud in the sky. Well … actually … the Cubs do have to win. Otherwise it puts a damper on the day.  But the sun is important.

I think that covers it. It’s pretty straightforward really. I know for a fact I’m not asking for too much. This stuff is all “gettable.” So, if you’re in charge of any of the above, Christmas is almost here. Get to work.


For those of you noticed my hiatus (not that you really would’ve), I wanted to explain/brag that it has been solely because of fantasy football. Because of my dedication, I’ve made it to 2 separate championship games set for next week. Thanks for all your continued support in fantasy and real life.

Myles Phelps is a contributor to Bleacher Nation. You can find him on Twitter @mphelps11.

55 responses to “Myles: Cubs Christmas Wish List”

  1. Mat B

    I am right there with you on your wish list. Especially wishing for progress. This time next year, I would love to not be talking about another 90+ losses.

  2. ssckelley

    My 5 sports wish list:

    1. Iowa beating LSU in the Outback Bowl
    2. Bears making the playoffs
    3. Bulls finishing low enough to have a decent shot at a top 5 pick
    4. Cubs sign Tanaka
    5. Cubs sign Samardzija to a contract extension.

    1. Chris S

      1. +1
      2. +1
      3. +1
      4. +1
      5. +1

    2. Spriggs

      1. +1
      2. +1
      3. +1
      4. +1
      5. +1

    3. Cub Fan Dan

      1. +2
      1. +2
      1. +2
      1. +2
      1. +2

      (Its Chicago…vote often)

    4. Steele

      I like all of these except #1. I am a diehard LSU fan! Geaux Tigers!

  3. Drewski


    Ever consider buying a Starlin Castro jersey? He did break out a few years ago… I understand what you mean though on being hesitate on jersey purchases. I often have to tell my family or girlfriend to now buy me jersey’s because the last one they did was Zambrano…they even got me an autograph ball on top of it. We all know how that panned out.

    1. Drewski

      to not* buy me….

    2. Spriggs

      wrong guy, Drew.

  4. Spriggs

    Myles, I with you on all your wishes. Only feel certain about CoomDawg. He won’t suck. I have already found myself sort of straining to like Renteria and looking for reasons why I should be high on him. Still looking, but I’m sure I’ll find something soon. After all, he sort of looks like my Dad did around his age… funny you mentioned the uncle thing!

  5. Jon

    Nate Schierholtz already had his breakout year

  6. ssckelley

    The 2 Cubs jerseys I hope to buy some day are Bryant and Almora but I will wait until they reach the majors. But I think the only safe buy on an existing Cub is Rizzo as I do not think he is going anywhere for a long time. My second safest pick of the position players though is Castillo.

    1. Spriggs

      I like to buy the one’s on discount way after they leave the Cubs. Yesterday I proudly sported my 21 Bradley T that I got for $3.95 last year.

      1. Fishin Phil

        I saw a Koyie Hill at the Dollar Store yesterday.

        1. Spriggs

          Was that him in person?

          1. Fishin Phil

            No, a Koyie Hill jersey. I need to be very specific around here, lol.

            1. Spriggs

              I thought maybe he himself was up for sale for a buck!

        2. mjhurdle

          well, if the going rate is 5 million per WAR, then i would estimate that $1 is fair market value for Koyie Hill.

          1. ssckelley

            Actually he would have to pay us to wear it.

      2. ssckelley

        Admit it, you have a Mesa Solar Sox jersey and I bet it has Bryants name on the back of it.

    2. Edwin

      I want to buy a custom jersey, and have it be number 88 with “Kane” on the back. Cross sports promotion!

    3. Steele

      I agree with the majority of these except #1. I am a diehard LSU fan, more than a Cubs fan! Geaux Tigers!

  7. mjhurdle

    I love Christmas and most everything that comes along with it, the old movies, decorating trees, seeing decorations everywhere you go, the music, etc.

    That being said, the Coca-Cola Polar bears might be one of the three most annoying set of commercials ever created. Around this time every year, i find myself wishing for those blasted creatures to meet the business end of a Great White so they can trouble my television watching experience no longer.

    Other than that, great list and great article :)

    1. Spriggs

      I’ve about had it with the “Every Kiss begins with K” commercials. And the damn Home Depot “Let’s do ___” spots. Man, I hate those.

      1. mjhurdle

        oh ya, those ‘Every Kiss begins’ commercials are horrible. Even more so because they get stuck in my kid’s heads and they go around chanting them like some mystical spell.

    2. Edwin

      I like the M&M commercials.

  8. Rebuilding

    Ron Coomer’s Strat-O-Matic card absolutely kills lefties in a platoon at 3b. Save your money for a Baez jersey

    1. Spriggs

      Is that from when he was on the Cubs?

    2. Isaac

      …Greatest game ever made.

      1. Spriggs

        No doubt. even though it almost ruined my childhood… and adulthood.

  9. David

    My Christmas wishes:

    * 5 year deal for Tanaka
    * physical trainer for Volgleburger
    * a year supply of extra protein milk shakes for CJ Edwards.
    * extra strength contacts for Olt.
    * yoga classes for Castro and Lake. Both have all the physical tools… need to get the mental exercises going.
    * 5 year extension for Shark

    That’s all!

  10. toby taylr

    why is it the same argument now 3 years into this? everyone wants to see improvement but dam if it boils down to having the #3 pick in the draft give or take 1 or the 13th pick–which would you really rather have right now. duh that’s dumb right-we’d all like the 3rd over the 13th-if its falling and stumbling at the all star break strip it down- we still need some more good/great minor leaguers to be added to the system

    1. Mat B

      You don’t just flip a switch and win 97 games. There has to be some improvement at some point.

      1. Isaac

        It isn’t easy to do, but it happens more often than you think.

    2. Sacko

      Hey Toby would you really like another horrible season and get a high pick or a .500 season.
      I’d really like to see us start turning it around then go through another season like the last 2.

    3. scorecardpaul

      toby taylr
      I agree with this, It bothers me that the Astros are winning at this game. If we are gonna suck, lets really suck

  11. illinicubfan

    Wait – people liked Moreland? I didn’t mind his content, but his accent drove me crazy.

    1. Spriggs

      I lived in Zonk’s hometown in Texas for a long time. He is really a good guy. His accent didn’t bother me.

    2. hansman

      I didn’t notice the accent but he just talked to dang much for me.

    3. RKStu

      His accent didn’t bother me as much as his being a terrible analyst.
      Who is this “Starling” he kept referring to?

  12. Steele


    I can totally relate to the part of the Breakout player. I have searched around for a Cubs jersey the past 4-5 years but have not pulled the trigger. I almost bought a Shark jersey last year at the convention but wondered if he would be a long time Cubbie. I guess I will wait until the kids get up here and go with one of them. I also considered buying one of the throwbacks from last year, the ones they wore in Seattle. I think it was a 1908 version, and they were selling Castro and Rizzo one’s. Good looking uniform. Which reminds me, any more talk of the Cubs changing their Logo/colors/uniforms?

  13. waffle

    I think the FO has a plan and has stuck to it.

    I would like to look at the product on the field and have that same sort of feeling. That the management (manager and coaches) have a strategy/a consistent plan, for playing competitive baseball and developing players. Last year from game to game I felt that there was very little consistency and little evidence of long term planning. It felt like a mess.

  14. TWC

    “When I was a kid, it was Star Wars Legos”

    It’s *still* all about Star Wars Lego.

    1. Spriggs


  15. Brian Peters

    Yo, Myles….tell youd dad to let you out more often, m’kay?

  16. dumbledoresacubsfan


    Great stuff. I’m right there with you on the jerseys.

    I’ve never bought myself a jersey (they were always gifts), but before splurging on an Authentic Ernie Banks jersey, I managed to get a Sosa jersey right before the corked bat incident and a *sacrilege* Brett Favre jersey the year before he left Green Bay.

    A jersey wearer scorned is hard to get back. So, knowing what the future of the Cubs entails, I opted for a Rizzo jersey t shirt. I figured that was my safest bet. lol

  17. Ivy Walls

    Keep asking Santa for Babe ruth to be reborn and join the Cubs, even as a pitcher

    1. Spriggs

      Vogelbach ???

  18. Tommy

    Bravo as always, Myles.

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