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Why guys "like us" naturally don't like Crane Kenney.


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12 replies to this topic

#1 Oswego Chris

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Posted 25 October 2011 - 10:24 AM

I think I have this figured out. I get the idea that most of us who frequent this board have similarities other than just rooting for the most hapless franchise in the history of the universe. I notice many pop culture referrences, that we all hold dear to our hearts. (Karate Kid, Simpsons, Monty Python...etc) It is for this reason, Crane Kenney, is a natural enemy to us.

If you ever see pictures of Mr. Kenney he appears to resemble the "bad guy" prototype of many of the "snobs vs. slobs" movies we grew up watching. The sneaky dweeb. Example, sub Mr. Kenney in for Chuck Schick in this famous scene from Caddyshack, and it seems perfectly normal:

JUDGE SMAILS: Danny, I would like you to meet Crane Kenney, he is clerking for me this summer until he passes the bar..
DANNY NOONAN: oh, I am going to law school too..
CRANE KENNEY: Are you going to Harvard?
DANNY NOONAN: No, St. Copius of Northern..(trails off)

Works just fine. There are a number of films if you just sub Crane Kenney in it works just fine. Jeremy Piven's Dean character in Old School would be perfect for a Crane Kenney.

There is also just the factor that his geekiness makes him a natural source of prey to many of us. It ignites our inner "Lion" to go after the injured "Gazelle".
His name alone....You know anyone named Crane? Me neither....How often do you wear a sweater vest?...Me neither...Would you wear a full Cub uniform with your name and the number 1 on it(confirmed through multiple sources) while you watched the games? Me neither....

He is our natural enemy...

#2 Brett

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Posted 25 October 2011 - 11:13 AM

Ha, hilarious. And I can totally see him in those roles.

Of course, the question then is, why can't we see Tom Ricketts in the same roles?

#3 Kansas Cubs Fan

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Posted 25 October 2011 - 03:36 PM

Because tom is like the super nice nerdy kid that you would feel bad if you made fun of him.

Crane is like the dickhead nerdy kid that you just want to beat the shit out of because he has a real bad attitude!

#4 Brett

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Posted 25 October 2011 - 04:10 PM

Because tom is like the super nice nerdy kid that you would feel bad if you made fun of him.

Crane is like the dickhead nerdy kid that you just want to beat the shit out of because he has a real bad attitude!

Random aside, Kansas: did you know that your avatar was actually made by me many years ago?

#5 TWC

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Posted 25 October 2011 - 04:19 PM


Because tom is like the super nice nerdy kid that you would feel bad if you made fun of him.

Crane is like the dickhead nerdy kid that you just want to beat the shit out of because he has a real bad attitude!

Random aside, Kansas: did you know that your avatar was actually made by me many years ago?

Name dropping again, eh, Ace?

#6 Brett

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Posted 25 October 2011 - 05:33 PM



Because tom is like the super nice nerdy kid that you would feel bad if you made fun of him.

Crane is like the dickhead nerdy kid that you just want to beat the shit out of because he has a real bad attitude!

Random aside, Kansas: did you know that your avatar was actually made by me many years ago?

Name dropping again, eh, Ace?

Not after that conversation I had with Bill Clinton last week.

#7 TWC

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Posted 25 October 2011 - 05:41 PM




Because tom is like the super nice nerdy kid that you would feel bad if you made fun of him.

Crane is like the dickhead nerdy kid that you just want to beat the shit out of because he has a real bad attitude!

Random aside, Kansas: did you know that your avatar was actually made by me many years ago?

Name dropping again, eh, Ace?

Not after that conversation I had with Bill Clinton last week.

Who? The cigar guy?

#8 Brett

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Posted 25 October 2011 - 06:26 PM





Because tom is like the super nice nerdy kid that you would feel bad if you made fun of him.

Crane is like the dickhead nerdy kid that you just want to beat the shit out of because he has a real bad attitude!

Random aside, Kansas: did you know that your avatar was actually made by me many years ago?

Name dropping again, eh, Ace?

Not after that conversation I had with Bill Clinton last week.

Who? The cigar guy?

Nah. Just a neighbor - Bilbo Clinton. Sorry if that was misleading.

#9 Coach Harris

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Posted 25 October 2011 - 08:21 PM

I can also see Crane Kenny in all of those roles.

However, I think we need to expand on the Tom Rickets character.

"Because tom is like the super nice nerdy kid that you would feel bad if you made fun of him."

Sure I can see that, but I also see him as the super nice RICH kid that everybody HAS to like because of what he brings to the table.

Examples:

Animal House - Flounder cements his night out with the boys from Delta House...when he has his brother Fred's car.

Weird Science - Ian (Robert Downy Jr.) and Max suddenly respect Gary and Wyatt when they think that they can make a girl for them...like Lisa (young Kelly LaBrock).

Ferris Bueller's Day Off - Although I sense a genuine friendship, Ferris was awfully insistent on getting Cameron Frye... and his father's Ferrari out of the garage for his adventurous day-off.

I imagine we would all love to hang out with Tom Ricketts.

Just think he could maybe...get you tickets, let you throw out the first pitch, or could even arrange for you to meet John Grabow!!! He is the guy that could arrange such a thing.

But would you really want to hang out with Tom Ricketts if he just worked at a lumber yard or a laundromat?

Probably not. No tickets, no first pitch, and certainly NO GRABOW!

No thanks.

#10 Brett

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Posted 26 October 2011 - 06:52 AM

Haha. Nice.

#11 Oswego Chris

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Posted 26 October 2011 - 09:14 AM

Coach Harris, Glad you clarified "Young Kelly LeBrock"...seen her lately?...yuck....she looks more like her ex-hubby Steven Seagal now...

#12 Kansas Cubs Fan

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Posted 26 October 2011 - 02:44 PM


Because tom is like the super nice nerdy kid that you would feel bad if you made fun of him.

Crane is like the dickhead nerdy kid that you just want to beat the shit out of because he has a real bad attitude!

Random aside, Kansas: did you know that your avatar was actually made by me many years ago?

When I found the picture on Bing.com underneath it had bleacher nation under it so I thought I'd show a little support.

So to your question, yes I guess?

#13 Brett

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Posted 26 October 2011 - 05:35 PM



Because tom is like the super nice nerdy kid that you would feel bad if you made fun of him.

Crane is like the dickhead nerdy kid that you just want to beat the shit out of because he has a real bad attitude!

Random aside, Kansas: did you know that your avatar was actually made by me many years ago?

When I found the picture on Bing.com underneath it had bleacher nation under it so I thought I'd show a little support.

So to your question, yes I guess?

Oh, damn. I was actually secretly hoping you had no idea, and it was just a happy coincidence.

Showing support is cool, too, though.




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