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2013 CHICAGO CUBS' NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS


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10 replies to this topic

#1 Oswego Chris

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Posted 29 December 2012 - 04:51 AM

Personally, I find New Years' Resolutions a bit silly...NOT when they are regarding the Chicago National League Ball-club!

In no particular order:

1. There is to be no mention of, or re-emergence of one Koyie Hill. If spotted, clubhouse attendants are instructed to say "Just keep walkin' Koyie"

2. The club must publicly admit: NO ONE WANTS ALFONSO SORIANO...

3. Any employee who engages in premature leaking(yuck) of free-agent signings or trades will be re-assigned to Kane County...if said employee violates the policy again, they will be forced to work for the White Sox

4. Tom Ricketts must remove his big screen HD TV from right field and take it back to his living room...then buy a bigger one that can actually be seen throughout the park.

5. Before trading of entire pitching staff in June, Jed Hoyer must make sure there are players in the system who have actually pitched before...unlike Justin Germano, Brooks Raley, etc....(editors note...The Cubs started addressing this one early!)

6. Note to the Ricketts children...keep your addy-d way-a rom-f ahm-R manuel-E

7. Ian Stewart must be placed in a secure hyperbaric chamber encased in foam until opening day.

8. KHP(Koyie Hill Policy) listed above also applies to Chris Volstad.

9. Pay attention Starlin!

10. "Guest-conductors" of the 7th inning stretch must be 1. People we have actually heard of. 2. Not-hawking a new movie,book, or appearance. 3. Not a high school coach of any kind, it's great your team won the title...but we don't know you...or care. 4. A person who has actually seen a Cubs' game before, or at least knows what baseball is. 5. Not totally washed up...Erik Estrada=No...Eddie Vedder is still okay....for now

#2 fromthemitten

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Posted 29 December 2012 - 05:04 AM

I laughed... but I think you meant hyperbaric chamber... unless you're overexaggerating the need for a hyperbaric chamber

#3 Oswego Chris

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Posted 29 December 2012 - 08:47 AM

Thanks for the editing mitten

#4 Spencer

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Posted 29 December 2012 - 09:54 AM

I couldn't agree more with #8.

#5 calicubsfan007

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Posted 29 December 2012 - 12:01 PM

I agree with them all, especially with the keeping KH away from our roster. I really don't want to suffer through that again. Nice post.

#6 Fishin Phil

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Posted 29 December 2012 - 01:31 PM

Good stuff Chris!!
Please don't feed the psychos.

#7 X the cubs fan

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Posted 29 December 2012 - 01:46 PM

This is awesome, I laughed about your "KHP"

#8 X the cubs fan

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Posted 29 December 2012 - 01:46 PM

So true...

#9 Tommy

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Posted 29 December 2012 - 05:22 PM

Good to have you back, Chris!
- diehard fanclub member #002

#10 Spriggs

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Posted 31 December 2012 - 08:13 AM

Nice job!

#11 Ivy Walls

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Posted 01 January 2013 - 09:37 AM

I will give you a Letterman TOP TEN

10) Pitching, become known as throwing strikes instead of nibbling

9) Throwing strikes to opposing players weaknesses instead of in their wheel-houses

8) Defensely be known to making all the plays they should and few that weren't expected, like 8 Barney's in the field of play.

7) Have three OF'ers who all can get "up on their saddle" and go get it in the alley's.

6) OF's always hit their cut off man, and the relay IF'ers are in position to take and make the right throw.

5) Any batter who swings at the first pitch and does not get a hit is fined $500 that goes to Cubs Care

4) Any batter who swings at strike three and misses when the ball is in the dirt is fined $1000 and that goes to the funding the Dominican Baseball School.

3) Anthony Rizzo makes both the Red Sox and Padres cry Lou Brock tears of regret

2) Starlin Castro actually and unequivably rises to the stature of being a bona fide All Star and not a ever promising potential

1) Cubs wins more games than they lose.
"What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series? No cubs."~Harry Carey




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