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2012 AMERICAN LEAGUE POWER RANKINGS....early edition
Posted 08 November 2011 - 04:20 PM
14. CHICAGO WHITE SOX- Being only a white small piece of footwear, it really has no chance of winning unless it somehow manages to choke one of it's opponents.
13. BOSTON RED SOX- Same weaknesses as Chicago, but being Red, it could "bleed" upon the white sock upon washing, hence asserting it's dominance.
12. BALTIMORE ORIOLES- Very few birds are feared throughout the Animal Kingdom and by humans, and this is not one of them. Could shred apart a sock though and nest in it.
11. TORONTO BLUE JAYS- Described as a "bully" around feeders, the Jay has been even known to attack dogs and cats. Therefore ranked above the whimpier Oriole.
10. TAMPA BAY RAYS- Taking the "Devil" out of the name has hurt this teams ranking. A "manta" ray can grow up to 24 feet, but out of water it would be relatively harmless.(Crows and Ravens may peck at it, but Orioles and Jays would probably be too afraid even of a dead Ray). If it's an aquatic contest, this team shoots up in the rankings.
9. SEATTLE MARINERS- Not to be confused with Namor, the Sub-Mariner of Marvel Comics fame(who is a bad-ass!), the name refers to those "involved with marine life, or boating". A sea-dude, with no weapons...beats footwear, and birds, and ocean knowledge gives edge over Rays.
8. OAKLAND ATHLETICS- The name originated from the Philadelphia Athletic Club, and for awhile they called themselves the White Elephants(which would change rankings considerably!) Unfortunately for Oakland though, just have to go with Athletics, and an athlete beats the socks, the birds, and it's probably a toss-up with the guy from the sea.
7. NEW YORK YANKEES- An American from the northeast. However, we also must figure in the Civil War depiction of northerners, thus possible weapons.
6. KANSAS CITY ROYALS- An homage to the KC Monarchs of the Negro league, most "Royals" at least have some training in sword fighting or other combat. Team will move up a few ranks if there are any Royal subjects.
5. CLEVELAND INDIANS- If I am to believe a famous scene from the great HBO series "Deadwood", these rascals can fight! Apparent lack of any fear makes them a very formidable foe.
4. DETROIT TIGERS- One of the "captains" of the Animal Kingdom, ferocious beast only beaten by weapons, large groups and the super-natural.
3. TEXAS RANGERS- No matter which definition you use, they definitely have weapons. In fact, being from Texas, it is most likely required. Since they hail from Texas, I would root for the Tiger every time.
2. MINNESOTA TWINS- Named for the "Twin Cities" to not offend the city of St. Paul. In fact the two guys pictured in one of the popular logos are supposed to represent the cities of St. Paul and Minnesota shaking hands across the Mississippi. As lame as that sounds, if you have two whole cities fighting( as long as a couple of them are willing to be eaten by before mentioned Tiger) you have a worthy opponent.
1. ANAHEIM ANGELS- If you are an atheist, go ahead and drop them down to number 14. If not, and you believe what you saw in "Angels in the Outfield"(yuck, Tony Danza!) you know that the Angels are an unbeatable foe in the AL next year and a lock for the Series.
Posted 08 November 2011 - 08:38 PM
I'm glad the White Sox are last. When I think of somebody choking on a sock, I can't help but think of Leslie Nielson (Frank Drebin). He did that bit...but with a with a pillow in police squad. After someone threw a pillow at his face, he continued to hold it as if it was burning his skin. Funny stuff.
The senior circuit may be a little harder to call with Mountains, Metropolitans, and Trolly Dodgers to rank.
Posted 09 November 2011 - 02:22 PM
I am not a big fan of Chuck Norris or the whole "Chuck Norris" joke thing....to me it's one of those kinda funny at first things...I say in both of their primes Joe Frazier kicks Chuck Norris' ass...one left hook and that's all she wrote...
But Dick Tidrow could take 'em both. At the same time. With his mustache.
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