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BNFL Week One Review - Holy Hell, Edgar


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#1 T C

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Posted 07 April 2013 - 09:58 PM

(I've decided to bring this feature back this season because I really did enjoy writing it for two months last year before it got depressing)

The new season is upon us! The birds are chirping, the air is getting warmer, the Cubs suck, and you're all amped up for your fantasy team to start kicking ass! (Unless your name is Hansman, of course)

But did your team actually do well this week! Well, unless you are Edgar, hell no. Edgar's 578 pts is ridiculous, seriously, and all of us should feel ashamed with what we put up in comparison (Especially if your name is Hansman)

If you can tear your eyes away from the gaudy point total Edgar put up, you'll notice Katie had a massive week and WON too, for what seems like the first time in, oh, ever. Newcomer Stan had a good week, and I myself had a very strong week...only to be bested by MGI hate my division

Without further ado, I present to you the first Weekly Recap of 2013:

Best 3 Teams of the Week
  • A Rod in my pants, 578.18
  • Beer and a Beckett of Chicken, 496.67
  • Katie's Wrench in Ya Taint, 489.16
Worst 3 Teams of the Week
  • Cheeseburger Walrus, 225.17
  • Scherzer Schmashers, 246.99
  • Fear Boners, 258.5
Best 3 Hitters of the Week
  • Chris Davis, Katie's Wrench in Ya Taint, 81
  • Jed Lowrie, Katie's Wrench in Ya Taint, 69
  • Adam Jones, Katie's Wrench in Ya Taint, 68
Astute readers may notice that those three totaled only 7.5 points less than Hansman's entire team fucking hell, Goat

Worst 3 Hitters of the Week
  • Brett Wallace, Wanted: Cookies, -7
  • Pedro Alvarez, The Hamburglars, -6
  • Jeff Keppinger, Katie's Wrench in Ya Taint, -3
Best 3 Pitchers of the Week
  • Clayton Kershaw, Stinky Pete, 102
  • Yu Darvish, Beer and a Beckett of Chicken, 76
  • Jeff Samardzija, Cubbie Blues, 71
Worst 3 Pitchers of the Week
  • Brett Myers, Beer and a Beckett of Chicken, -23
  • John Axford, Fear Boners, -19
  • Cole Hamles, Cheeseburger Walrus, -19
Closest Matchup: Stinky Pete (350.83) over The Stalingrad Hammer (332.84), 17.99 point difference
Biggest Blowout: A Rod in my pants (578.18) over Fear Boners (258.5)
Strongest Loss: Bob Brenly Memorial Squad (466.5)
Weakest Win: We will Buck You! (324.17)

#2 fromthemitten

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Posted 07 April 2013 - 10:09 PM

I'm looking really stupid when it comes to my pick of Pedro Alvarez being the breakout candidate for this year.

Glad I didn't draft him.

#3 MichiganGoat

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Posted 07 April 2013 - 10:15 PM

Oh Tommy I'm impressed you can write with a rusty wrench up your taint, our matchup was fun I almost lost my mojo when Felix and Justin crapped there pants but my offense was shockingly surprising this week.

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#4 Spencer

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Posted 07 April 2013 - 10:18 PM

You missed Clayton Richard among the worst pitchers of the week, who posted a -20.17 for my team. And I still scored over 400 pts. [W]

#5 T C

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Posted 07 April 2013 - 10:21 PM

You missed Clayton Richard among the worst pitchers of the week, who posted a -20.17 for my team. And I still scored over 400 pts. [W]


Huh, when I sorted by the worst pitchers of the week he didnt show up. odd.

#6 Spencer

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Posted 07 April 2013 - 10:24 PM


You missed Clayton Richard among the worst pitchers of the week, who posted a -20.17 for my team. And I still scored over 400 pts. [W]


Huh, when I sorted by the worst pitchers of the week he didnt show up. odd.


Well I cut him immediately afterwards, so that might be why.

#7 T C

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Posted 07 April 2013 - 10:26 PM



You missed Clayton Richard among the worst pitchers of the week, who posted a -20.17 for my team. And I still scored over 400 pts. [W]


Huh, when I sorted by the worst pitchers of the week he didnt show up. odd.


Well I cut him immediately afterwards, so that might be why.


ah, ok, I see him now. I didn't know he'd been rostered so I didn't include him (I usually don't include the FAs)

#8 Edgar

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Posted 07 April 2013 - 10:30 PM

this was totally a fluke. had 4 starters going twice. i drafted billingsly and straily not knowing they had injuries/being went down. got lucky breaks on straily pitching against the astros and picking up chacin.

#9 Spencer

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Posted 07 April 2013 - 10:33 PM

this was totally a fluke. had 4 starters going twice. i drafted billingsly and straily not knowing they had injuries/being went down. got lucky breaks on straily pitching against the astros and picking up chacin.


I was really surprised the A's sent Straily down after his start.

#10 fromthemitten

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Posted 07 April 2013 - 10:38 PM


this was totally a fluke. had 4 starters going twice. i drafted billingsly and straily not knowing they had injuries/being went down. got lucky breaks on straily pitching against the astros and picking up chacin.


I was really surprised the A's sent Straily down after his start.


I'm just glad they didn't send down Griffin instead

#11 Edgar

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Posted 07 April 2013 - 10:42 PM



this was totally a fluke. had 4 starters going twice. i drafted billingsly and straily not knowing they had injuries/being went down. got lucky breaks on straily pitching against the astros and picking up chacin.


I was really surprised the A's sent Straily down after his start.


I'm just glad they didn't send down Griffin instead


I don't get why they are giving colon another chance. Without the peds he would not been any good. But looks like Brett Anderson might go down.

#12 fromthemitten

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Posted 07 April 2013 - 11:04 PM

I think it's because Billy Beane giggles like a little schoolgirl everytime he says his last name

#13 Rick Vaughn 99

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Posted 08 April 2013 - 12:31 AM

Thanks Tommy.

I hope you all had your week 1 preseason fun, because the Slumbusters are going to dominate the good categories from this point on. Ho hum... different year, same old domination ... yawn. I even plan to win in the playoffs this time around. You've all been warned.

Good week Edgar, congrats. I didn't realize they were counting pitching performances against the Astros as major league stats this year, good for you.
- die hard fanclub member #001

#14 FiveFifty550

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Posted 08 April 2013 - 06:44 AM

I'm thinking of changing my team name for next week to "Sad Face Boners".

#15 hansman1982

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Posted 08 April 2013 - 07:32 AM

"Especially if your name is Hansman" and "Astute readers may notice that those three totaled only 7.5 points less than Hansman's entire team "

I hereby request an exemption from the "must field a team full of respectable regulars who should be in MLB that week" rule. My team has a couple decent guys on it and then it's chock full of bad players. I think I had the most post-10th round draft picks of any team since I mortgaged the crap out of this year for contention last year before I Cubbed it up.




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