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TOP 10 RESTRICTIONS/ CONDITIONS TUNNEY WANTED NOT MADE PUBLIC


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12 replies to this topic

#1 Oswego Chris

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 07:52 AM

10.  All cheering and applause must be replaced by quiet Golf-clapping.

 

9.   Booing and hissing replaced by quaint collective gasps.

 

8.   As alternative to Jumbotron, fans encouraged to wear Sony Watch-mans to view exciting replays.

 

7.   Ronnie Woo-Woo no longer allowed to "woo", will now be referred to as Ronnie Hush-Hush.

 

6.  Wood bats and baseballs to be replaced by Nerf products, to eliminate noise polluting "cracking" of bat.

 

5.  Cubs allowed 1 yearly concert, rotating performers include Kenny G, Michael Bolton and Neil Diamond.

 

4.  40 percent of all ticket sales to go to Tunney's favorite charity "TAIPAI"-The Assisting of Illinois Politicians After Incarceration.

 

3.  7th inning stretch conductors encouraged to replace "Alright let me hear you" with "Alright, let's try to keep the noise at a respectable level because there are people who are trying to sleep who apparently didn't realize what happens when you move so close to one of the most popular Major League Ballparks in history...a one, shhhh, a two, shhhh."

 

2.  "Go Cubs Go" to be replaced with "Silent Night"

 

1.  Rooftop owners to convert buildings into Transformers, allowing them better vantage points around the field.

 

 

@BBCG104Reasons

 

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#2 Fishin Phil

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 08:07 AM

Niiiiice!


Please don't feed the psychos.

#3 Cubbie Blues

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 08:08 AM

#9 & 7 would be awesome.

#6 could be accomplished by bringing Brett Jackson & Vitters back up.

#1 would cause way too much destruction. Did you ever see a neighborhood left untouched by those guys?


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#4 CubChymyst

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 08:14 AM

That made me smile.  Good list.



#5 hansman1982

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 08:19 AM

#11.  The Chicago Cubs will be forced to offer all of their tickets to every game to the alumni/students and faculty of the North-Southern International University of the Deaf, Dumb and Blind College of the Americas.



#6 Cubbie Blues

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 08:21 AM

#11.  The Chicago Cubs will be forced to offer all of their tickets to every game to the alumni/students and faculty of the North-Southern International University of the Deaf, Dumb and Blind College of the Americas.

Don't the Umps already get paid to watch the game?


"It's not the dress that makes you look fat, it's the fat that makes you look fat." - Al Bundy

 

"Ow" - Dylan Bundy


#7 hansman1982

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 09:06 AM

 

#11.  The Chicago Cubs will be forced to offer all of their tickets to every game to the alumni/students and faculty of the North-Southern International University of the Deaf, Dumb and Blind College of the Americas.

Don't the Umps already get paid to watch the game?

 

 

I'm trying to find a BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO meme but all I get is:

 

31061289.jpg



#8 OCCubFan

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 09:16 AM

#12: Tunney's restaurant has exclusive rights to all food and beverage sales with Cubs getting 0.0000000001% of sales.



#9 OCCubFan

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 09:20 AM

#13: Jumbotron faces out, so that people on rooftops can see the replays.



#10 OCCubFan

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 09:21 AM

#14: Cubs cannot sell any tickets to a game until the rooftops are sold out for that game.



#11 Oswego Chris

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 11:17 AM

I like these additions!

#12 Internet Random

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 08:16 PM

For the record, #3 is the funniest.

Also, I'd like to see #7 implemented. He's a friendly guy with an interesting story, but that shrieking grates.

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Crockett, mountsalami, sans


#13 Brett

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Posted 13 July 2013 - 12:40 PM

Heh.






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