I live in Springfield, home of the AA Springfield Cardinals. I got a Skype message on Thursday morning asking if I would like to go to the game that evening, my friend (who has season tickets) was going to go but his wife couldn't attend. I decided to go, since it was dollar brat night. Beer was still $7.25, but that's another topic.
Anyway, I was sitting with my friend Doug a few rows from the field on the third base side, another friend of my was seated in front of us. It was a 1-1 game in the 8th, the Cardinals had just tied the Rangers' Double-A affiliate, and the three of us were having a conversation while the giant grackle was schmoozing the fans nearby, The chicken came up the aisle and rubbed my head as he walked by. As the goose was walking away, my friend Doug yelled to him, "He's a Cubs fan!" This led the sparrow to turn around and give me a shoulder rub, followed by a big hug from behind. At one point, the swallow's wings/hands/whatever were covering my face. This went on for an uncomfortably long time, but it got worse.
The friend seated in front of us is an acquaintance of one of the camera operators at the ballpark and didn't hesitate to call the cameraman over. So while I am sitting there being attacked by the booby, I hear someone say, "Louie, you're on in 3...2...1..." and the next thing I know the raven is no longer using its "hands" to assault me, but my head is in the beak of the pelican and I am on the JumboTron. The crowd went wild. I had to sit there listening to the person inside the pigeon costume breathing heavily. A pleasant experience it was not.
Moral of the story: Never take a free ticket to a minor league game, I guess.