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Special Clauses to Albert Pujols' Contract


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17 replies to this topic

#1 MichiganGoat

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Posted 08 December 2011 - 06:52 PM

So I tweeted that years 7-10 included a Power Scooter to get him to the batter box.

So let's have some fun and project what special clauses Alberta has in his new 250M deal.

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#2 Brett

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Posted 08 December 2011 - 07:12 PM

If he hasn't developed a neck by the fourth year, the Angels are required to "provide a $37,000 neck-creation surgery allowance."

#3 MichiganGoat

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Posted 08 December 2011 - 07:16 PM

After year five the Angels must inform the Vatican that he has achieved sainthood or else the plagues of Egypt will come to LA.

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#4 Sweet James Jones

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Posted 08 December 2011 - 07:31 PM

Year 9, he will be sent to an assisted living home, since we all know Pujol's real age is actually 62.
Betternews is a Bitterbitch

#5 MichiganGoat

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Posted 08 December 2011 - 07:34 PM

My sources tell me that both Miami and Anaheim will add assisted living apartments at the ballpark.

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#6 Robbo

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Posted 08 December 2011 - 07:35 PM

An Disney character must be created and royalties paid to Pujols...."Albert the no-neck robot"

#7 Sweet James Jones

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Posted 08 December 2011 - 07:49 PM

If I ever see you guys in person. Dont get me started on his kids. You want bad humor. I got bad humor.
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#8 Kansas Cubs Fan

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Posted 08 December 2011 - 08:08 PM

bring the bad humor.

After year three if the team has not won world series Pujols get controlling interest in team and free taco bell for life.

#9 Katie

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Posted 08 December 2011 - 08:09 PM

Trainer staff will now include a manscaper and dome shiner.
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#10 Cubbie Blues

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Posted 08 December 2011 - 09:35 PM

Years 7-9 he gets to play 1st base on the bag with nobody on (well I guess that will be his range anyways).

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#11 Hawkeye

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Posted 09 December 2011 - 09:22 AM

The Angels will be required to "mow" the Arch into the outfield so as to make Albert feel at home.

#12 Cubbie Blues

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Posted 09 December 2011 - 09:33 AM

Just a quick question? Will everyones co-pay now go up on doctor visits?

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#13 TWC

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Posted 09 December 2011 - 10:36 AM

Trainer staff will now include a manscaper and dome shiner.

Think they're accepting applications?

#14 hansman1982

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Posted 09 December 2011 - 11:14 AM

Year 10 has a provision that the State of Califonia can buyout his contract for him to become governor to replace the next aging star turned governor.

#15 Katie

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Posted 09 December 2011 - 11:53 AM


Trainer staff will now include a manscaper and dome shiner.

Think they're accepting applications?


I think you'd be great at waxing his back. Dream big and go for it!
Peg: Oh Al! Did you miss me?
Al: With every bullet, so far.




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