I have to admit I am no longer a big fan of New Years. Sure, as a young lad I frequented the occasional New Years Eve party(one year I was thrown out of a party for paying the most popular girl in school-Cindy Mancini-for pretending to be my girlfriend...I had made a lot of money mowing lawns that summer, and I helped her out when she ruined her mothers' suede dress) Now, as an old chap, I just prefer to stay home and think of new aliases to use to torment Brett on the message board.
Here are my hopes/resolutions for the Chicago National League Ball club
- win the Tanaka sweepstakes! no matter the cost, I want a reason to watch!...other than hoping the 22 "flip candidates" on our team play well enough to get us some prospects
- I would like Darwin Barney to not play, unless he can re-find the magic that made him a .250 hitter.
- That Rick, Rich, Richie(or is it Rickey?) Renteria is a bit more exciting than Dale Svuem, and gets rid of the bunting tournament.
- That the construction of the New Wrigley Field is completed by opening day! (oh, it hasn't started yet? really? are you sure?)
- for Baseball Prospectus and Baseball America to rank Baez, Bryant, Almora, Soler, and Edwards 1 through 5 in all of their prospect lists...with Vogelbach at 10.
- for Brett Jackson and Josh Vitters to break the top 1500 prospect lists in those very same publications
- for Tom Ricketts, Theo Epstein, Jed Hoyer and every Cubs fan to be required to purchase Beyond Bartman, Curses & Goats: 105 Reasons Why It's Been 105 Years...the Quintessential Book about the Chicago Cubs
-for the Blackhawks to repeat as Stanley Cup champs!...oops, sorry...wrong list...this one is from my "actually might happen in 2014" resolution list
- for Cubs' fans to quit complaining about the Edwin Jackson contract...I mean...come on! Jackson's contract makes some of our previous bad contracts look like a minor banking error! The contracts of Soriano/Zambrano/Fukudome were akin to the stock market crash of 2007(actually they are eerily close to coinciding)
-for every Cubs' fan to follow me @BBCG105Reasons,
-the end of the 7th inning celebrity singing...it's time to just play a tape of Harry, with Bill Murray being the only exception to the rule
-while all of these places are vacant(I am wishing no harm to anyone!) I want an asteroid to hit Busch Stadium, then bounce and hit the rooftops on Waveland and Sheffield, before finally landing on U.S. Cellular Field...that last one can happen at anytime as there are rarely any humans there
- for Brett to give me some nominal title, even if it's just ceremonial, like "Ultra-Poster" so that when people ask me what I do for a living, instead of just saying teacher and author, I can say "oh and I dabble in a bit of writing for the world famous Bleacher Nation"...everyone goes "oooooh" in the room
-for the Cubs to win the World Series(insert sound of crickets)
- to see Dumb and Dumber To...Sorry, wrong list again
- just throw me a bone!...at least have the Cubs' season be relevant until June, okay, okay I will take mid-May!
In all seriousness, here is wishing all of BN a great 2014! and I hope to see many of you at the Cubs' Convention (and con you into buying a book, if I haven't already)